How can a person feed a problem and expect to get better from it?

Does intentionally looking at porn change the way you feel and think? It does for me...would I intentionally look at it, I'd quickly feel in my gut that "this is very important for me! I need more of this stuff." That's not a lie, but an honest, real feeling. B"H feelings are not the reality, and b"H it's a lie that I need it. So I don't intentionally look at it, be"H. I can't feed the problem if I want to be in the solution.

But you are making some real progress, T4C, right? Or does it feel like wrestling all the time?

To share about your question above:

No, it gets easier and easier living without it. That's why I asked you if you are married, as part of the discussion. For married people routinely deal with sex - and until we are sober a while, sex is a frequent cause of falling again.

But for bochurim that problem is not there, and it makes it easier for many.

So, just don't feed it and it will get easier...unless all you are doing is not feeding it. As I have posted many times before, just holding back - even for Hashem and for kedusha - is often just holding our breath. Eventually we will have to exhale and lose again. That's called "white-knuckling" in the 12-step programs, and is just a way to be a holy, pure, sitting duck - certainly not what Tatty wants for us.