I'm in my low 20's and have had a problem with this Yetzer Hara since I was 14 or 15. The internet only became a problem for me a few years ago but has risen to become a beast that I had almost despaired of defeating. Although I had been fighting the battle for a number of years, I had not been fighting to hard or successfully. Then in mid January, I found GYE and watched the video on the "First Time Here" page. That carried me through my record 5 weeks clean. However eventually the effect wore off and I fell again. I watched the video twice more but only got a few days inspiration out of each time.

I knew that I needed to quit but wasn't sure if I could and how. Then I discovered the 90 day program. It offered me a light at the end of the tunnel, a point at which, although the war isn't won, I will have won a battle and some much needed relief. I joined GYE, started and made it through the 90 days on my first try! And then I fell...

It took me a few days but I restarted and B"H I'm now 21 days clean. But recently after some close calls, I realized that I need to do still more. So I decided that if I should feel myself start to slip, I would post on the forum. This would give me something productive to do to distract me while I cool down. So here I am finishing up over a half hour of telling my story (I restarted in middle when I refreshed the page accidentally) and I think the coast is clearer.

I realize now that I can't do this alone, so thank you to everyone for reading until the end. And thank you to GYE for saving my life.

We are all here for you. You are not in this alone.

Keep on Truckn'

Welcome N2Q!

Congratulations on take this step in the right direction. May I suggest that you sould not wait for the start of a slip to post on the forum. Try posting regularly, and you may avoid the slips altogether. Consider the following story/moshol:

A Yid came to a town, and was warned to avoid a certain area, because a wild pack of dogs hangs around there, and they attack all who get close to them. He laughed and said, "I'm not afraid of any dogs. I have a possuk which is a segulah not to be attacked by dogs." He ignored everyone's pleas and went to that restricted area. Sure enough, the dogs attacked him and miraculously he hardly escaped with his life. When asked, "So what happened with your possuk?" He replied, "These dogs are such resho'im, they did not even give me a chance to say the possuk.

Get the nimshal?

Hatzlacha,

MT

NeedToQuit wrote on 08 Nov 2012 05:24:


Welcome to the front lines friend.
It is possible for an addict to go many weeks and even months without his fix and still remain basically unchanged. So when he's caught off guard, down he goes. Yes, abstinence from the lust drug is of paramount importance. This means bulletproof shmiras eynayim in all settings -- no women (forget about TV and movies), and guarding our minds against improper thoughts, including the thought that I want to act out in some way, surrendering these thoughts to Hashem and begging Him to intervene.

But for real recovery to take hold, there also needs to be real change. The destructive habit must be replaced with real, wholesome living. This includes renewing relationships with the people in our lives, introspecting and working on our middos, and some other things you can read about in the 12 steps.

Thanks for joining us here and sharing honestly.
Hatzlocha!
Alex