Chevra,
In short, I'm 40.
Married and bt for last 10.
6 kids.
Was Frei until 30. (Didn't even know what the yh was)
Played with lust since puberty, probably got hooked and addicted in high school or college, not important as I am here.
High speed Internet led to countless hours surfing the Schmutz. . First marriage ended in divorce. Decided to become frum after reading about Tamara's hamishpacha and...look ma, GD gave the Jews this neat trick to keep them holy and faithful.
Well...it all worked until two years into this marriage, business was failing, and I fell back in. She caught me online.
The last 7 years have been lots of shalom Beis ups and downs.
I have been sober for about 6 years, slipped maybe 3 or 4 times looking.
For the first time I started Saa phone program.
And my wife tells me recently she wants to speak to the wife of someone in recovery who had my level of addiction.
The most uber cool Jew I know at guard gave me some thoughts.
More than anything, I gotta deal with a lot of anger, frustration, criticism of my wife, and being a selfish jerk.
Wife says twice a week for last 7 years the horror of being married to a guy who cheated on her w porn has silently hurt her, and she never wanted to share burden with anyone (she is too busy w kids etc) now, that I am in Saa and mentioned there are some couples have gotten to a place where they can actually laugh about the addiction together...and have real marriage. She says she wants to speak to one of these super women.
Our shalom Beis needs major work...anyone have success with their wives speaking to other wives? Thoughts? Perils? Potential Positives or pitfalls?
