Hi
i am mid thirties baal teshuva in europe.
I Managed 75 days on my quest for 90
whilst i feel down, i feel some strength as its double my previous best and felt good the most time
i dont know why i feel but i think its almost like i was starting to feel so uninspired and depressed i almost needed to start again, so i messed up
I also suffer from OCD and ive had a horrid week for it, when ive been pretty much good previously in those 75 days, im not using it as an excuse but my defences are down
anyway
i have tried for a sponsor and partner before via the conventional methods but no one ever replies
i know it can be done to stop, i never imagined 75 days,ever, and i can do it, i know with the right support

Hello and welcome!

75 days is impressive! you should be proud of yourself.
Something I learnt here though is that , "Its not about counting the days, its about making the days count"

Did you read the Handbook? OCD and trying to be perfect causes alot of stress. Try making smaller more realistic goals.. I also have what you can call "perfectionistic" tendencies all-or-nothing. I think its so not healthy and from experience, when I try to get little goals I end up achieving much much more.
Keep up the good work and be in touch!

Also the calls have recently started up again why dont you look into that?

his8sm wrote on 28 Oct 2012 11:06:


If you stayed clean for one day, that alone proves you can do it.
75 days is huge!

Regarding the uninspired and depressed thing, I relate. In the beginning, being clean for days in a row is uplifting by itself. But as things progress and we get better at it, and maybe the struggle isn't so great, it leaves another void. That's where recovery comes in. Recovery means just that. Recovering your LIFE. A 12-step phone conference, or even a live local group could teach you more about recovery. You can start by familiarizing yourself with the 12 steps using the resources here on GYE (start at the homepage.)

Welcome the the community!

Alex