Hi I’m happy I found this site & joined
I have had problems dealing with masturbation for awhile now I believe I am not addicted but in truth I probably am
I've been in therapy for a long time(not for sa) and B"h moving along
Does anyone know when the next phone conf 12 step cycle start?
I not really sure how these threads work I hope to get the hang of it
i feel guilty but hope to find help

Shulem Alaychem, beh!
welcome here : )

chatzlocho in staying / trying to be clean.

r"t

sholom aleichem!
You've just done a major step! you came to GYE.
Use the tools on this website, and consider using the resources for addicts

Hatzlocha rabba!

R' beh,

Welcome. I think that soon the veterans around here will ask you maybe to tell us more about yourself, so we can get aquainted and then help each other on their journey. So I'll beat them to it - um, maybe tell us something about yourself, what do you mean you may or may not be addicted?

It sounded like you struggle with masturbation more than porn, I'm also in that boat. I think that although it's obviously a good thing that we (I'm already assuming your'e also like that) haven't sunk that far. But since M is at least as addictive as P, but harder to pin down the destruciveness - "only" the Torah says it's wrong - so it's hard to always feel that this is so terrible, maybe 'cause of this it's harder to recover. Just an addict's murmurings.

All the best,

Chaim

Thanks for the warm welcome!
chaim you happen to be right i do have a problem more with masturbation i just started being clean 3 days its tough i was wondering if you could be my partner i understand if tou can't do it thanks for the encouraging words.

R' Beh,

I'm probably to young and stupid and addicted to be a real good partner, but if you'd like you can PM me and we can share numbers.

Hatzlochoh,

Chaim

if you DONT want bedavka to share your problems with somebody via phone calls, you can pm me as well. i am there if you need it/me.

and well..efshar, tell your full story?

thanx RT & chaim how do i pm do i just post my email ph # or is there a way to go through an admin.

Hello : )

instruction how to pm somebody.

under my nik (RT) you see "full member" under it u see 3 yellow stikklach and them you see how many posts i have and under that u see my short description. and UNDER THAT u see 2 icons: view profile and personal message.

so, push the second one

chatzlocho, r"t

Ok so here is my story my sister was reading a novel & I also wanted to read it she told me “its not for me” I didn’t know what that meant at the time so one day in 7 the grade I came home early from yeshiva to read a book it was filled with explicit sexual content without me even realizing what was going on I ejaculated then somehow I learnt how to masturbate it didn’t help that my mother had a bunch pritsdike books around the house since then I’ ve been having a hard time. Through therapy Iv figured out what masturbation means to me & what it is replacing I hope this program will get me over the hump to lmaaseh break free Be”h

You can do the twelve step program, that is one option. It works, but you will always think of yourself as an addict.

If you learn cognitive therapy skills you can actually change. You can read "Feeling Good" by David Burns. To give you a taste, try the following techniques:

1. Once a day picture yourself in twenty years looking back on your life. Will you feel good having used dirty pictures for so long?

2. Picture yourself going to shul Shabbos morning. Imagine that you never masturbate. It will feel good being one of the tzadikim in the community.

3. Every time you feel powerless to fight your lust think the following to yourself (do not say it):

Telling myself that I am powerless does not make it okay for me to lust.

The feeling does not grow by itself. It is not a time bomb. I cannot become aroused further unless I choose to think of something lude. If I focus on other things later I will turn around and the feeling will be gone.

I am not more powerless to think of something lude when I am very aroused. I am at no less fault in that case.

4. When you feel like having lude thoughts start doing something you enjoy. Be prepared to improvise and think out of the box. For example, learning may not necessarily be something you enjoy. You might enjoy a drink, or talking to a friend, or listening to music.

this is really great advice i'll try it out

Dear nederman,

Yyasher kochacho for your great and valuable feedback and suggestions here! I am going to PM you just to say hi and to comment on something from an old post.

Have a great day!

Now back to our regular programming....

I do not recall what pm stands for but I won't hold my breath