Hi

I just had a fall and can do with some chizuk. The part I really can't handle now is the next 48 hours I feel like an empty vessel, zero self confidence. I feel like I need to hide from people because I simply don't have the confidence to face the people I know. The closer the peson is, the harder it is to face them. I am reading through the 12 steps 12 traditions now and I know it will help change my attitude towards my addiction to lust. I just need a boost in self confidence at the moment.

Thanks

Just daven to Hashem for help. Understand that yes it may be sad to fall, but the yestzer hara loves just this. To make you feel so trashy that u say to ur self it's not worth it to get back up. So grab the bull by the horns-and kick it. Lol pick up make a resolve to reach out to Hashem, so u can subdue the yetzer hara. Please understand that many have fallen. By the winners r the ones who learn from(or at least try to) the mistakes.

Keep strong!!!

Hey there Yesod31,
Welcome to GYE!
Reading the gye handbook especially the part on attitude was a tremendous chizuk. It was m'orer that sometimes its not chizuk we need in order to overpower our yetzer, we need to realize that we need to stop wanting lust.
For people who have a severe issue with this its normally just an escape hatch, the preferred route out of (the painful) reality of life. Doing the 12 steps (anonymous phone conferences are available) is a great idea. They teach the tools to deal with the challenges of life not run away.

The Yetzer got you huh? First he sells you and convinces you to fall, then afterwards he tells you your a nobody for doing it. Unbelievable he is. Listen buddy the fact that your even here shows how you have tremendous strength of charachter. Its not easy reaching out to others (which btw doing that live to either a friend or even calling one of the guys on the forum can really help) you should be proud of yourself for admitting you need a chizuk from others. Your not going it alone anymore.
Keep posting let us know how your doing and post more about your situation when your more comfortable (at your own pace)
JKG
P.s. I noticed you wrote that the next 48 hrs. "You just can't handle" I understand what your feeling SO well! please don't tell yourself you can't handle it, it'll only make it harder, you can handle the next two days. (Your still here aren't you?)
Were here for you

I haven't yet searned to stay sober, but I have learned how to get up from a fall. It's all about perspective. You didn't "lose everything" with a fall, just that day or hour or minute (which is a ton, don't get me wrong). But now is a new day and hour and minute, a new nisayon, and more importantly a new chance to grow. "One day at a time." the horrible past is over, the terrifying future hasn't yet arriven, I have only the present to try to make perfect as much as I can.

All the best!!!!!!

The Chozeh of Lublin says:

"A person thinks the Yetzer Hara is mainly interested in his aveirah. The truth is, he cares very little about the actual aveirah. What he really is aiming for, is for one to get depressed about what he did, and then slack off on his Torah and Mitzvos."

You're in the middle of a fierce battle, and people are getting wounded all around you. You have no time to sit and cry about the medals you may not get. PICK UP YOUR GUN AND START SHOOTING!!!

You fell? Go learn an extra blatt of Gemara.
You slipped? Go scream a few kapitlach of Tehillim.
You had a hirhur or two? Go say your next pesukei dezimra with a shuckle and some extra simcha.

It's a war and those who fight will get hurt. The main thing is just to keep fighting with all your strength as long as you still have a drop of life in you.

Falling is indeed difficult but part of recovery is getting used to it I think. Nothing is lost unless you lose it. If you give up you will lose yourself and let's face it you will be back in the end whether it's now or in 20 years after giving up. Recovery is different for everyone. Some Get on and are able to make head way right away while some it takes months and years till they see results. In essence like others say you being here is progress. Statistics show that 60% of Americans (I'm sure if Jews you make statistics the numbers would be well over 90%) live with some form of sexual addiction. So how important one must be to be here against such a high number and admit he has a problem. Also part of your progress will be the down stage of a fall. At some point you will progress and not giving up will be instinctual. You will get right back on and work on the details that caused you to fall. I say this because I had a fall last night and I am back on. I know what my problem was (aside from not praying enough and asking for gods help) and I will make sure to take care of it before next Sunday comes. Much hatzlacha!

Thanks all for your helpful words. It feels great to be able to share. Every day since I joined GYE I feel more and more that I can focus on what I can be in control of and not get bugged by the things that I can't. It's very tough to admit helplessness and when I thought I had got to that stage I realised that I was still far from it. I now feel that I'm starting to get comfortable with the knowledge and feeling, and it's actually an uplifting and cleansing experience. I feel like I have taken my biggest issue and entrusted someone else to take care of it for me (Hashem). I am starting to feel that I don't have I worry too much about this problem.

Thanks again guys.
Really appreciated