hi, i was here some time ago but had technicla problmes. so i'm back now BH with a new passowrd and tons of will to pick myslef up and restart my journey
these forums are amazing- thanks for being there for me

kevin (used to be Ezra)

Welcome (back) Kevin,

Spare us the agony of looking for your Ezra posts to figure out what you're all about. Please 'Introduce Yourself', as the thread implies. What's your story - Where have you been, where are you now, and where are you heading?

Looking forward to get to know you better - and wishing you much success in your renewed journey.

MT

Hi 2c, welcome back.

ditto what Machshovo Tova said. How are you doing? Hatzlacha

H"Y

thanks for the warm welcome back. these forums are a lifesaver.
i was on and off the story for quite a while, was clean (after a VERY strong decision)for a long time, and then fell back recently. i am noticing something bad and soemthing good. the good news is that i do fall less frequently, and the bad news is that the quality of pritzus is always a bit worse RL..I was sinking very very slowly.
i am restarting now, with some new insights that i gained from GYE, & from otehr sources.
i made a good kabala to go to sleep early which makes it harder for the YH to get to me (avoiding the "late night alone" scene)
also, i decided to work on a completely different mida (gaavah) and NOT to target the pritzus issue now. it has sources in both litvish and breslov sefarim.
thanks so much for being there for me!!!!

Kevin

Welcome Rabbi Pond ;D

I relate to the gradual deterioration of what I'm willing to let myself look at (actually, what I came to crave.) For me, what also happened was the intrusive thoughts and cravings also got more intense.

Getting to bed early is an excellent idea. I heard (I think from Rav Miller Z"L) that one of the tricks of the Y"H is to keep us tired. I have found that the best way to get to bed early is to get up early (and learn).

Hatzlocha and keep us posted on your progress. And feel free to post your insights and chizuk on other's threads. It's good for you.

Alex

On the topic of 'early to bed and early to rise', I'd like to share the following vort I once saw in a Chassidic sefer:

Ad mosai otzail tishkav, mosai tokum mishnosecho (Mishle 6:9)

Poshut pshat applies to getting up in the morning:
Ad mosai otzail tishkav? - How long will you lie in bed, you lazybones?
Mosai tokum mishnosecho? - When will you arise from your sleep?

But we can apply it to going to bed in the evening:
Ad mosai otzail? - How long will you lazy around?
Tishkav! - Go to sleep already!
Mosai tokum mishnosecho? - When will you arise in the morning if you go to sleep so late?

Which reminds me of another Chassidic vort on this topic:

Shulchan Aruch begins "Yisgaber ko'ari" - one must be strong as a lion to get up in the morning for service of Hashem. Then it says, "also when he lies down in bed he should realize before whom he is lying..." And the kashya is, after discussing the getting up routine, why does he regress to the going to sleep routine? And the answer is, because if one goes to sleep as a 'ferd' (horse) he cannot get up as a 'laib' (lion).

So it is not only important to go to sleep 'early' - it is even more important to go to sleep 'holy'.

Hatzlacha

MT

BH
thanx a million guys 4 the replies & chizuk!
these forums r amazing
another idea- it is good time now to start the 90 days, as it will coincide-more or less- with syium haShas (daf yomi) & will mark a new, fresh beginning.
i strated my 90 days this week (for this reason & others) Good luck to me

welcome back.

keep on trucking.

keep us posted bro.

kevin wrote on 12 May 2012 21:05:


OK - so here's the deal. If you keep going until the Siyum Hashas I will bl"n personally give you Mazal Tov (only if you're interested). At any rate, hatzlacha rabbah.

MT

thank u shteeble & MT for your kind words.
i hope to be able to deserve your mazal tov... hope it will be a double one- for the 90 days & siuym haShas.