lio, We all have experienced starting out the day to get to minyan [s]on time[/s] early, and half way through brushing the teeth it's, "gotta check the email", and then boom! Just like you described it.
But you've done something different this time. something very very big and good and different. You told someone about it. You expressed your shame. You've come out of hiding with your pain and struggle.
Good! Very, very good.
Now, just take each few minutes at a time. Work to make it to lunch time, and then to dinner. Then for one full day. You will sleep well. Take each day one at a time.
Keep posting on your thread.
Do what Alex suggested.
Get the handbook and start working on it.
This is a process. There will be ups and downs. The yetzer may start working overtime. Just stay at it and stay at it. You might want to read Blind Beggars thread to see how somebody stays with it no matter what.
You can do this.
I'll check in with you later.
Haatzlacha
