Hi everyone, I just joined this site and forum and I'm on my way down the tubes with this addiction and it has affected me so badly. I know that if I don't get rid of this addiction my marriage will fall apart and my goals will never come to fruition. I want a new life, a life of happiness without this addiction. I was a very good Yeshiva Bochur until this addiction started. I wanted to be a Rebbe before this addiction started. I know that I do well if I am around good friends so hopefully this forum will act as that and hopefully today will be the beginning of a new happy life for me and my family. There is so much more I'd like to write about so if anyone has any questions feel free to ask.

welcome brother. you are in the right place. this website offers great great tools for getting an upper hand in this fight. writing about your struggle on this forum is one of many ways we start and stay on the road to sobriety.
so post away!
hatzlocho.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

GuardYourEyes (GYE) is a vibrant network and fellowship of Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free of lust related behaviors. For the first time, there is somewhere to turn to for help in these areas. We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama  .  Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!
 
In the last couple of years, the GYE network has helped roughly 1,000 Jews get back on a path of sanity, self-control and healing and has touched the lives of thousands more. GYE has become known throughout the Jewish world as the number one address for dealing with these challenges which have reached epidemic proportions. 

The tools of our recovery program were developed with guidance from the best experts in the field, such as Rabbi Dr. Avraham J. Twerski, and through the personal experience of hundreds of Jews who successfully broke free. We use a unique approach that recognizes that there are many different levels in these struggles.

Our network is comprised of a website, a pulsating forum, phone conferences, daily Chizuk e-mails, support hotlines, therapists, live 12-Step groups and a program of recovery for all levels of this struggle/addiction.

All our work is free of charge and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of all our members.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into your journey:

1) See the "GYE Program in a Nutshell" (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer) that can help you quickly identify at what level of the struggle you are at, and which tools and features would help you most at your particular level.

2) Install a strong filter (see this page for more info). It is hard to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away.  The filter gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com will hold the passwords for you. We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability.

3) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

4) Join the 90 Day Challenge. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain.

5) Post away on this forum, where hundreds of yidden like you exchange chizuk and post logs of their journey to recovery. You will internalize that you are not alone, and you will learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.

6) Join our free anonymous phone conferences, led by an experienced sponsor.

7) If you need more general guidance, write to GYE’s helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call the hotline at 646-600-8100.

8.) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook" (a hard copy can be purchased for cost price over here). This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "The 20 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

The second part, "Attitude & Perspective", detail 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

Our souls cry inside of us, but we have accustomed ourselves to block out that cry. Today we can begin to be who we really want to be.

We are here for you.
www.GuardYourEyes.org
GYE E-Mail Helpline: gye.help@gmail.com
GYE Phone Hotline: 646-600-8100
Help us help others: Donate Here

newlife wrote on 18 Oct 2011 16:08:

how many years of ***** are between you and the yeshiva bachur who wanted to be a rebbe?
can we get a rough age?

Hi,
I'm 24 yrs old. I don't know why I put in that part of being a rebbe even though it is true but I don't know.  Its about 10 years since then. But I haven't be come addicted till about 4 years ago. But now I see where it can lead to. It happens to. Be hat as I write this I have an urge to fall but I'm trying not to. I don't want to move down on the 90 day list. One reason of many. I'm the type that when I fall I fall hard and for a long time. I stay in a rut for a long time. So I gotta make sure I don't get in a rut. Ill write more soon.

@new

no time like the present to get a hold of your life.. and move forward.

I know someone who was recently arrested, convicted and thrown in jail! (do to sex addiction run wild)
Talk about having a bad day to ruin your family and professional life !

really messed up my day too thinking about it!
some people learn from the experience of others - others need to go through the experience first hand.
(even the experience means having a metal door slammed behind you)

the goods you can learn from others how to become a better more caring, giving person from the whole experience and move forward with your life if you choose too.

your choice!
you can do it

hi, i have started new also, its worth it i once felt like you, don't think your a gonner, the fact you are here saying that it bothers you is a step in the right direction. read the hand book and the white book and you will see you will get better!

Hi Newlife!
Welcome to the hood.
You've taken an important step in admitting you're addicted.
What's your plan?

BTW, I don't buy it that you're "the type that when I fall, I fall hard and for a long time."  Don't doom yourself with such thinking.  You have new tools now, new approaches.  One of them is that if you do slip or fall, lo aleichem, you get right back up as if it never happened and move on.  Learn from your mistakes, your patterns, but keep on moving down the highway (nusach acher: keep on trucking).

Alex