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TOPIC: Hello guys need help 2655 Views

Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 09:47 #113112

  • sababa
Hey guys I'm new here and I tell you a little about myself
I'm addict to this(z'era) and to porn 4 years, I was a compulsive masturbator and slowly(I was out very much zer'a le'vatala), I stopped twice a day, once a day, once a week
Most days I could be clean 55 days and fell to 3 days on Saturday
It turns me on commercials,porn,street, girls and there's so many things being seduced me and I really feel that a second and this second battle for me
Guys I need some encouragement fell 3 days and I'm really desperate I do not want to fall but it's difficult
Thank you my brothers
Last Edit: 03 Aug 2011 10:02 by .

Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 11:54 #113114

  • mechazek
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hello sababa its so great to have you here.Stick around you will hear from some amazing people.What is helpful to me is to try and share what you are going through.Where exactly you are holding now?what do you plan on doing?
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Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 12:08 #113115

  • sababa
Thanks mechazek
Meantime I keep a clean 3 days
Every time I try and I fall I do not know what to do I feel like I'm going to fall
It's very hard not to fall
Thanks Brother
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Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 13:00 #113120

  • helpfyi
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Hi and welcome your in the right place for help, you should start with reading the GYE handbook and the attitude hand book, this will help you alot. 3 days is a good start, you can do it start with 3 and keep on bumping it up. You have to cure yourself of the lust addiction and by the fact that you are affected everywhere you go its not just a YH is an addiction.

Hazlochoa
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Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 13:20 #113124

  • sababa
Thank you my brother
Sometimes it really hard and I feel that it overcome me
I feel that now at the beginning, really hard for me every second I'm going to fall - the first few days it should be hard?, 'cause I feel I have 'yezer' a strong
Thanks
Last Edit: 03 Aug 2011 13:32 by .

Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 13:20 #113125

  • YMG
Hi Sababa,

Please be patient with yourself.

It's your desperation that's getting you into trouble.

So just relax.

If you're working on stopping then you're on the right track.

It's your job to make your greatest effort.

Don't worry about "success".

That's Hashem's job.

He's very capable, and He happens to be very good at His job! 
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Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 13:23 #113126

  • YMG
sababa wrote on 03 Aug 2011 13:20:

... really hard for me every second I'm going to fall...


http://www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=4153.0
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Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 13:30 #113129

  • sababa
Nice my brother, I did not think about it, it will help me and hope to help many more people
Thank you saved me
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Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 13:51 #113132

  • shteighecher
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Welcome, you are at the right place, we all struggle with the same issues and we become better. Stay in and keep on posting.

Here is the officail GYE welcome package.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!


May Hashem be with you!
Yes We Can!!!, Yes We Can!!!, Yes We Can!!!,
With Hoshems Help
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Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 14:23 #113136

  • sababa
Thank you
I was beginning to despair of my fall and now you lecaz'ek me it gives strength to continue
Even though it's very hard,It's good to read the caz'ekim
Thank you my brothers, you help me
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Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 14:47 #113144

  • sababa
This morning I had a 'wet dream' and I have only 3 days clean, and all the movies (porn) and the images return to my head and all this thing starts to discourage me out that I only holding 3, etc.
What to do? It very difficult for me
Thanks
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Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 15:02 #113147

  • ZemirosShabbos
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welcome,

try not to worry about the wet dreams, that is something that is not directly in your control. concentrate on keeping away from 'sights' when you are awake and with time the wet dreams will diminish as well

as the others said, you would learn a lot by reading the handbook and getting to know the various techniques others have used successfully.

pardon my asking, but are you a hebrew-speaker? fyi, there is a hebrew forum, in case you can more readily converse in that language.

wishing you much success
zs
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ
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Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 15:14 #113152

  • ninetydays
Hi sababa -

You sound like you really came a long way from where you were holding to start. One advantage you have of the images being of porn and not of women that you know is that you do not associate emotions of feeling with the pornographic images. The memory is much stronger when you do that.

If you had a relationship with another women and you really had an emotional connection with her your brain remembers her based on the emotions. That is why it is so much worse. With guarding your eyes (believe me I do it on the train and it is kind of amazing. Every second you feel like you are fulfilling Hashems word) the images will diminish and you feel like a different person. Will you forget what porn looks like? No! But they will not haunt you anymore. Thus is the human condition.

ninety
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Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 15:43 #113167

  • sababa
Thanks
My English is really not so good, ya I know Hebrew forum but here I feel more strength .. thanks
Thank ninetydays I'll try to keep the eyes more thanks
Guys come to my second forum

www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=4195.0

Thank
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Re: Hello guys need help 03 Aug 2011 21:14 #113315

  • chazak
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this is the one that's always active
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