Wow, thanks for getting open like that about your feelings and background!
Can please you clarify what kind pf things would not have been tolerated in the group, and how that would be enforced? I would like to understand better, please.
But after thinking about it, ChaimChuna, it occurred to me that I would never in amillion years have seen what either of those guys above said as snarky or condescending. I was really shocked by your misread of them. I daresay that if you had a heightened expectation for snarky remarks, you have been in an atmosphere where such things were often part of the landscape. Was that part of the groups you were referring to above? And as usual, I am 100% serious here and not being critical or cynical in any way.
Your post about having certain comments not tolerated in a group, reminded me of a thing that seemed strange to me in SA groups when I first started attending them years ago. People laughed their heads off sometimes - even about the insane behaviors of other addicts as they reported them! And the reporting person laughed harder than all the rest of the lot!
One of the things we learned in meetings was how to laugh at ourselves. In some respects, by my nature, I am the proverbial 'pompous ass' (as in, 'donkey'). King Baby, as AA puts it. If I cannot laugh at myself once in a while (at least once every day), then something is wrong with me indeed. Reb b (people here call him bardichever) showed me that GYE guys can do that, too! And that is one reason I love him so much.
And you seem a very lovable person yourself, too! Please don't ever lose that, chaver.