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TOPIC: new to this 1212 Views

new to this 30 Jun 2011 05:57 #109977

  • sholoml
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Hi all,this seems like a great site. Hope it'll be of help to me. I've been suffering from viewing porn related sites for about 10 years now, have gone for therapy for about 2 years, which really was helpful and slowed things down alot. Lately alot of that has worn off i believe, and the temptations and falls have been increasing to much! Hope this forum will be helpful.
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Re: new to this 30 Jun 2011 10:38 #109986

  • jewishguy
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Welcome from an other Newbie!

Do you have a Strong Filter on your Computer?

In my opinion, without one, you are wasting your time!

Loads of Luck!
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Re: new to this 30 Jun 2011 13:31 #109993

  • shteighecher
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Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!


May Hashem be with you!
Yes We Can!!!, Yes We Can!!!, Yes We Can!!!,
With Hoshems Help
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Re: new to this 30 Jun 2011 18:00 #110029

  • ZemirosShabbos
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hi and welcome,
GYE is a great site, no doubt about it. stick around here and read up, see the experiences of others and see what tools and paths were used and you can gain a lot b'ezras Hashem.
wishing you hatzlocha
zs
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ
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Re: new to this 30 Jun 2011 18:41 #110038

  • AlexEliezer
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Welcome Also New!
You're in the right place.  With the tools you acquire here you can surely succeed.  We're here if you have any questions or just want to talk.
Hatzlacha,
Alex
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Re: new to this 30 Jun 2011 21:47 #110061

  • 1daat
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Welcome welcome.  come on in.  This place saved my life.  The guys here WANT you to succeed at being closer to Hashem.  That, it turns out, is what's there after porn.  Filter, handbooks, coming clean through the forums, asking for help, sharing, 12 steps if they're right for you (and you won't really know till you try it.  Kinda like trying to understand what a banana taste like from a description).  There's a lot of joking around here, and some of it is actually funny.  No, some of it is so funny you'll fall of your chair (check out Zemiros Shabbos.

Hatzlocha.  Stay in touch. 
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Re: new to this 06 Jul 2011 19:30 #110491

One of the beautiful things about this site is that when you open up,you open to everybody the crowd here actually cares about you and your struggle and somebody will almost always be there for you and will have a therapist like quality of clarity and and inspiration.

There are probably hundreds of other benifits but as another therapy patient myself this was outstanding to me in the beginning.

My opinion is to let everybody in,post everything when you feel down confused thoughtful and inspired. a couple of guys will relate to your struggle really listen to your posts and be there for you. Some will just post on everythread with their chizuk without knowing your previous posts.

Good luck
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Re: new to this 07 Jul 2011 05:32 #110529

  • ninetydays
The anonymity really allows you to speak about whatever is on your mind. To me it was very therapeutic to write and write and have people read and respond.

I lived for years in the life of a lie with no one and nothing to turn to.

ninety
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Re: new to this 07 Jul 2011 07:52 #110539

  • Holy Yid
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Welcome and good luck. Post away and get a filter :-)
זכרני נא, זכרני נא, וחזקני נא אך הפעם הזה, הפעם הזה, האלקים, ואנקמה נקם אחת משתי עיני, מפלשתים
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