Brand new here. I have looked over the forums before but I realized that it's not enough to break free. So I just signed up. Don't really know what else to say....

Edit- I feel that i didn't do myself justice. So here is the long form.
I am a bochur currently in BM in the US. Ever since I was 13 I had an issue with porn. A little while after I started looking at that stuff, I started to be Zera Levatala. It went on and off for years but there was never an actual break for more than 2 weeks.

Recently I have been hitting the brakes and I have gotten a lot better with Shmiras Ainayim in general (on the street, billboards....) I thought I was on the road to be a full Eved Hashem. Approx 2 weeks ago I broke and started watching and looking where I shouldn't have been. With that came Zera Levatala once again.

This is when I stumbled onto GYE. I was totally enamored with the idea of a forum where guys can talk in the open about this problem. But in my mind I was stubborn, "I didn't have to sign up," I told myself, "It's just enough to take the advice/chizuk from the site." And I was wrong. As so many people have written on here and in the name of the 12 steps, I am an addict and my twisted logic proved it.

After a bad trip up I took a neder to create an account. So here I am.

~Pinny

Baruch haba! Even just introducing yourself is a great step. I find that when I can't figure out what to type, I go look for a thread that inspires me to respond to it! And now I found one! Great to see a newcomer. You can expect to get the official welcome from a moderator soon.

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama   Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!

GYE Program in a Nutshell: (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer).

'Guard Your Eyes' offers a unique approach to helping people by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". After studying the experience of hundreds of religious strugglers over the past few years, we put together the suggestions and recommendations that we feel are best for the various levels. We divided the tools, features and services that GYE offers into 8 different levels. This "GYE Program in a Nutshell can help people quickly identify at what level of the struggle they are at, and which tools and features would help them most at their particular level.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into recovery:

1) Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information… We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability, because filters alone are usually not sufficient and they can often be bypassed.

2) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

3) Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

4) Post away on this forum! You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

5) GuardYourEyes also offers many free anonymous phone conferences where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See www.guardyoureyes.org > Tools > Phone Conferences for many different options. Our conferences are taking place every day, morning, noon and night… Joining a phone group would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but the daily call will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

6) If you need more general guidance, write to our e-mail helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call our hotline at 646-600-8100.

7) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook". This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "Attitude & Perspective", details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

The second part, "The 18 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

May Hashem be with you!

Welcome Pinny!
Your story is so much like so many of us here, each with our unique angle, but the common denominator is a shmutz habit starting from a young age that is very difficult to break.  Just understanding and admitting that it's an addiction is a huge step.  You obviously have tremendous will power and are directing that will in the right direction.  With the help of the tools available to you here, and the accountability of posting here, you have a fresh start unlike your previous fresh starts.  This is probably the biggest challenge facing the frum world today, and now you're on the right side of the battle.  Together, we will succeed!
Welcome!
Be m'chazeyk us with your success!
Alex

thank you all for the warm responses! Even those few kind words give me chizuk in this battle. So far this is my 4th clean day, hopefully for ever!

Hayom arba yamim....
What a great time to start this count!
This is do-able. And you're doing it!
Shteig on!
Alex