feelingreallylost wrote on 23 May 2011 13:24:
Is it possible to resolve the issue by my self?
In short, what's happening is your body getting "ready to go". It happens to many people who put themselves into highly sexual situations over a sustained period of time, but have no release.
If what you say is taken at face value, you find yourself in relatively normal situations and this occurs fairly immediately. That said, it's quite "normal" to get a "little high" when exposed to a light trigger. This would mean that either your body responds heavily to mild stimulus, or your mind escalates normal situations into major stimulus.
Neither of these situations is normal, and you might do well to chat to a doctor - if indeed you are highly triggered by very mild stimulus. This could actually be a medical condition (assuming that this is indeed very frequent).
If, however, you experience this once in a while (say once every few weeks) and it's after some fantasizing and mental drooling... Then you have a classic case of "blue balls". Your "mind" needs fixing (not in a bad way) - this could theoretically be done by you yourself, but might be more efficiently and comprehensively done with some help.
With regard to getting your perception of women fixed - you're in great company. Including mine - this is a journey I am on myself. Being aware of it is great, but perhaps reach out to people on here who can give you more guidance than I can.
I am assuming that pornography, general lust and masturbation is not otherwise an issue?
And when I am in such a situation with this pain, is the only way to releive myself through mas***?
No - it will go away by itself. Masturbation might make it go away faster, but will often be painful in itself, and leave you feeling rotten. In my experience, it doesn't immediately solve the problem, but it makes it subside more quickly over time. I find that the
best thing to do is to ignore it and do something else altogether - something that will actually distract you. Learning is great. If that's not going to cut it, do something that
will. Dwelling on it will keep it constant. You won't actually notice when it goes, it'll just go. If it doesn't go after a few hours, consider medical advice. (what I am saying here is that refraining is painful, but possible - some people suggest ice/cold water - never tried that myself)
I feel that you are a special person. The
Yetzer Hora is trying to force you to act out by giving you a serious physical challenge. It would seem that lust by itself isn't enough
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/smile.png)
I suspect he knows that you're otherwise going to beat him
This condition has been used to excuse all kinds of things, from rape to coercive sex to masturbation. But honestly, it goes away with a little time and self-control.
The trick is to avoid it happening. I have my own ways, but I think you'd be best off taking advice from people who might have better ones.
Edit: In case nobody jumps in... I will. Against my better inclination.
When you are with someone (I'm taking a date as an example, you'll see why), and you feel "heated up" as you put it, consider the following:
-I am a Jew who has within me a literal piece of G-d.
-[Name] (not "she") is likewise a Jew who has within her a literal piece of G-d
-This makes us a kind of family.
-I must respect myself - if not for myself, then for the
Neshama that is within me.
-I must likewise respect [name], because to do otherwise would be an affront to myself, to G-d and most importantly [name].
-I wonder what makes [name] interesting and unique as a person, and if we have any similar ideas.
-"Hello, [name] - tell me more about..."
Try that on for starters. I'm sure more people will give you better and more general advice. But if you can interest your brain in areas other than "She's a girl! Yay!", you'll find the whole experience more rewarding and much less painful.