Hi, I need some help.
When I was around 14-15, I used to look at p... occasionally, but went cold turky, and don't do so now. (I'm 17, 18 in a couple of weeks.) I don't m........ and never have, but I have been plagued with wet dreams. They occur for me at least one a week, normally more, and they drive me mad. It is not just theemmision itself though, it just feels so unclean.
What really drives me round the bend is when my underwear goes in the laundry basket. My mum does the laundry, as I am to busy with sixth form to do my own, and the idea of her touching my underwear disgusts me. When she touches this afterwards, like faucets, door handles, etc., they just feel dirty, and I can barely bring myself to touch them without cleaning it first. (N.B. it is not just my mother; anyone touching my underwear afterwards would make me feel the same. I have tried to explain this, but neither she, nor my father, seem to understand.
Then, last week, my mother touched my siddur, when she was cleaning. This was after an NE, and now I can't shake the feeling that my siddur is contaminated, and I can't serve Hashem in peace. Just the tought the even a microscopic amount of semen is anywhere near my siddur is horrible to me.
I am seeing a doctor about this tomorrow, but I really need help from other Jews now. Please, I need help.