The Gemoroh in Kidushin 30b says בראתי...ואם אתם עוסקים בתורה אין אתם נמסרים בידו… -Hashem said to Am Yisroel “I created the y”h and I created The Torah as a “spice” for him. If you are involved with the Torah you will not be given over in to the hands of the y”h”. The questions I want to discuss are: (1) What’s the y”h? (2) What does a “spice” mean? (3) What does it mean to be involved? (4) What is the Torah? (5) What does “you will not be given over in to his hands” mean? And of course, why does it often seem that it doesn’t work?
Similarly, Chazal tell us that the Torah improves your personality in every way and to a very great extent (see Pirkei Avos 6’1). But Chazal also tell us that one who learns Torah and doesn’t act properly makes a great chilul Hashem. In light of everything that the Torah is supposed to do to a person, how is it possible to not act properly if you learn Torah?
The Zohar Hakodosh says that all the mitzvohs are meant to save us from the y”h. Why does it often seem that it doesn’t work?
The posuk says כל מצותיך אמונה. One of the meanings of this posuk is that all mitzvohs bring us to Emunah. Why does it often seem that they don’t? [This is very important to us because Emunah is the key to braking out of the y”h’s clutches.]
What comes first, action or intention? In other words which one is the cause and which one is the effect?
The Arizal says that if you learn Torah without first doing Teshuva then the Torah could actually c”v make you worse. How can that be if the Torah is supposed to be what brings a person to teshuva?
I think if we answer the first 5 questions, the rest will be answered automatically. First, what is the y”h? In order to answer that, we need to know what we would be like without the y”h. {The question of whether the y”h is an angel or a part of us, is not relevant to our discussion.}
Without the y”h we would automatically gravitate only towards Hashem and automatically keep all the mitzvohs, because that’s the very essence of our soul. We would automatically run from lust more than from physical death. Not just from sin, but from all lust, because by definition any other desire is a contradiction to our desire for Hashem. Any other desire causes a separation between us and Hashem which by definition is a separation between us and everything good. In fact it’s a separation between us and The very Source of our existence. The threat of a separation between us and Hashem is a much more serious threat than any threat to our physical existence. We therefore would not have “bechira” because there wouldn’t be anything to choose about.
The y”h has what would seem like an impossible job. He has to somehow confuse us so badly, to the point that we could actually want to do things that are much more damaging to ourselves than physical death. That’s quite a task! So how in the world can he accomplish this?
He accomplishes it by perverting the very desire-for-Hashem itself. He concentrates on the desire that we feel, while covering up the Object of our desire. He confuses us about the void that we feel. He tells us that it’s a need for lust when really it’s a need for Hashem.
And how does he do all this? By making us think that we have our own separate existence that is not dependant on Hashem. By convincing us, that we are something else other than a “shli’ach”- emissary of Hashem. This delusion is called גיאות and is the source of sources of all sin, all faults of character and all negative emotions.{R’ Tzadok Hacohen in Tzidkas Hatzadik discusses all this}If a person realizes that he is nothing but an emissary of Hashem Himself, there’s absolutely no room for arrogance, low self esteem, self consciousness or anything else negative.
Once he gets us to c’v sin, it causes a separation between us and Hashem and between our pnimius and our chitzonius. This in turn makes his job much easier, because that separation makes us not see who we really are. It in turn causes our lives to be full of frustration, anxiety etc. Deep in our heart we know that this whole mess is caused by a “lack of Hashem” but the y”h continues to delude us. In addition (and it says in seforim that this is the main part) he uses the sin to “prove” to us that we are not really connected to Hashem at all, but rather we are c”v connected to the “opposite side.” In addition he tells us that now Hashem is disgusted by us, so whatever connection there may have been before the sin, is definitely gone by now.
He goes on to explain that the only realistic way to fill the void is with lust. We get easily fooled because the lust provides immediate relief (for at least a second) while getting close to Hashem takes time and work. The cycle continues and his job gets easier and easier. (1) In answer to the first question, the y”h is the force that pulls us away from Hashem and towards other desires by confusing us with delusions.
So now Hashem says that He provided a remedy (a spice). This does not mean that if we choose that we don’t want to do a particular “aveiroh” then we should throw the Torah at him. (2) Rather it’s a remedy against the whole confusion that the y’h causes. If you want to think straight and get rid of the fallacies of the y”h, that can be accomplished through Torah.
(3) The way it’s accomplished through Torah is by being involved in Torah. One who is involved in the Torah is connecting with Hashem actively with a greater connection than any connection found in the physical world between any two things. (Nefesh Hachaim shaar 4 perek 6 and Tanya perek 5, It’s worth learning it before the next time you learn Torah) If you are involved with Hashem [as explained in those sources] by definition you can’t also be involved with lust. The two are mutually exclusive.
(4) But we need to know what the Torah is. A person has the ability to separate the Torah from Hashem. This is called learning מן השפה ולחוץ. That means that he doesn’t want to connect to the spirit of the Torah but rather he’s only interested in the Torah as a science. He prefers to remain connected to “the other side” although he may very well be desperately trying to stop sinning. Not only will the Torah not help, it will make things worse (Nefesh Hachaim ibid perek 5 and Ba’er Heitiv O’CH siman 571 s”k 1)He must realize that the Torah is Dvar Hashem and connecting with Torah is connecting with Hashem, and disconnecting from foreign desires.
If someone learns Torah with the spirit of Hashem in mind and he wants to change direction and turn away from lust and towards Hashem, then the Torah will accomplish exactly that. (5) That’s what it means “you will not be given over in to his hands”- he will no longer be able to delude you in to directing all your energy towards destroying yourself, by distancing yourself from Hashem. Instead you’ll direct all that energy to connecting with Hashem – The Source of all good, all pleasure and all happiness!
[There are other prerequisites for “Torah tavlin” (like not speaking loshon horoh) but for the most part, once you have the right attitude everything else will work out. A very basic prerequisite is Emunah in the power of Torah to change you. R’ Tzvi Meir says (in the name of the Besh’t the Chasam Sofer and others) that very often the y”h knows that he can’t weaken our Emunah in the Torah. So he tells us that Chazal were talking only about people who are on a high level. But when we learn, it’s not the real thing so it can’t really change us. This is a tremendous pitfall, because if we have Emunah in the power of our Limud Hatorah it will definitely change us totally.]
The above applies –of course-also to all other remedies (like Tefiloh, Mitzvohs, mikveh etc.) The Rishonim (Chinuch, Chovos Halvovos and Rambam) taught us that the way we act affects us greatly. Just as intention leads to action, so to does action lead to intention. If Emunah and being close to Hashem make us do mitzvohs, then doing mitvohs makes us have Emunah and brings us close to Hashem. But only if we want to be close to Hashem; and that means to want to drop all foreign desires.
Practically speaking, how do we make sure that we have the right attitude? If we sunk so low, how do we make sure that we “want” to change? This is an old problem and the answer is to be found in the famous words of Hoshe’a Hanavi (14, 2-3) שובה ישראל עד ד' אלוקיך....קחו עמכם דברים.... “Return, Yisroel, [all the way back] until Hashem your G-d for you have stumbled in your sins. TAKE WITH YOU WORDS…" We need to speak it out with Hashem (see the commentaries on this posuk) R’ Pinkus used to say that the most basic prerequisite for sholom bayis [between Hashem and us] is open communication. We need to say to Hashem "אלכה ואשובה אל אישי הראשון. No more cheating on You, no more foreign desires, I want only You and nothing else". By saying it on a regular basis, we start to feel it more and more.
But the Seforim Hakidoshim (Nefesh Hachaim ibid perek 7 among others) give an even more immediate solution. Each time you’re about to learn Torah; before you start, take a couple of minutes to speak to Hashem. Say to Him: “I have sinned but I deeply regret it. I have been fooled by the y”h in to straying, but really all I want is You. Please take pity on me that the Torah should not c”v be considered like the Torah of a rasha. Rather it should change me like only the Torah can, it should bring me close to you and the fire of Torah should burn up all garbage that I absorbed. Please help me remember what learning Torah is all about and save me from the y”h who works tirelessly to make me forget all these things. Etc…”
To sum up, there are two things we need to do in order for these things to work.
1) We need to understand what it is that we should want it to do for us.
2) We need to speak it out with Hashem both in general and particularly before Learning Torah.
Hashem should take pity on us and all of Klal Yisroel and take us out of the darkness; both the darkness of our private golus and the darkness of the general galus and we should all be zocheh very, very soon to see אור חדש על ציון תאיר במהרה בימינו