hi guys

Hey Net, good to hear from you!! How are you?

Why not start a thread in the "Break Free" or "Wall of Honor" boards called "Net's corner"? Unless you are a talmid of battleworn, in which case you should call your thread "I'm Net, a Talmid of Battleworn, and this is my corner"  ... Or something like that...

.....or else your inviting someone to a fight. And with that avatar of yours dont expect too many responses!! :D :D :D :D :D

Hi Net! Please keep posting right here. I don't post on the other boards and I hardly get to see any of it. If you post here, we can stay connected.

Anyone that is interested in Torah chizuk and/or advice, can start a thread on this board; anyone that can give Torah chizuk and/or advice is invited to give it on this board.

I've been very busy lately, with an emergency situation which is still not over, but I hope to be back in full swing very soon.

Hope the emergency is over fast - and easily!

And hope to see you back here soon!

Oy Reb Battleworn. My heart goes out for you. Please do come back as soon as you can. hatzlacha in whatever it is.

This is by far the oddest thread on this forum.

lol. I have a weird sense of humor but this thread makes me laugh

u guys arent gonna laugh any more!

Coz I'm starting for real now!

Hi all
I've been wanting to start writing for a while, but I've always been too lazy, so... I just had a fall, and I figured, if I don't do something... I'll just keep on falling. So here goes....

The past two weeks have been pretty damn hard, My pattern was Sunday, Monday I fell, Tuesday, I was clean. Wednesday, I fell. And thursday, friday shabbos i was clean. That was last week, this week was the same, but today is thursday and I fell. Let me give u a bit of intro....

I would hate to trigger people, so I'm gonna try and keep the details to a minimum, Basically, until now, I don't think, I've really looked at official "p**n". If u call movie scenes porn, then I have, but whateva, never actual porn sites, I was never interested. Last month I went on holidays, and while at my freinds house, who has unfiltered internet, I saw some porn, I was disgusted by it, but nevertheless, interested, as it was a step up, from what i was doing before. Then, I went back to 'regular' stuff, which isnt as intense. Yesterday, I was interstate,working for someone at their house, they left their house, and i was by myself. I was feeling quite desperate, or maybe even bored.... I told myself that I'm not gonna do it, but I jumped straight on the computer and did it. Going back to real porn. I felt like **** afterwards, and really scared, like it's too late, kinda feeling. Today, i told myself, thats it I'm not gonna do it. and I held myself up for like 5 hours, which was rly hard, in the end I just did it, and now I feel like s*****.

I dont know where to go from here, this cycle cant keep on going on, I cant be bothered anymore, I cant even keep clean for a week!!! Its a real piss off. I need some direction, some ideas, I dunno, Maybe I'll elaborate a bit later, but for now!!!

Cheers
Net

You need some direction, hmmm... how about "UP"? 

I don't know what to say, Net. You're an old-timer and you already know all about the handbooks. All I can suggest is to actually take the ideas in the handbook and implement them for real, like your life-depends on it!

Hi guys

Decided to post again, havinent done so in a while, anumber of issues have come up, but I'll be back on later, so stay tuned...

Cheers
net - talmid of hagaon battleworn sheyichyeh

Hi Guys

Back again, I've decided to take on a hachloto to start posting every day here, as I've become rreally frustrated with where things are heading.

I'll start with my goals, I am aiming to stay clean every week except for one day, its cutting it down from a couple times a week, I'm having a lot of trouble getting it there... , I seem to slip up right at the start of hte week, i.e. Sunday, then keep it up until wednesday thursday and slip. The past two weeks , i've slipped on both wednesday and thursday. I really want next week to be better, so I'm gonna use a strategy here, that I discuss what happened when I slipped up and before.

I'll start from today, thursday....

Just a bit of an intro for those who dont know, I'm curently doing a course in computers, so I'm sitting in front of a computer all day.
Which makes it really hard, because its so easy to get distracted, with youtube etc... and then get triggered.

Today, I had tons of work to do, Im a bit behind in my course, and theyre moving at a very fast pace, I was feeling overwhelmed by all the work, but I woke up early, davened, went to gym, and got stuck into it...

I dont know why, but there were a couple of things that I got stuck on, then I got despondent, and I felt like my day had been wasted and I was really upset, with all these negative thoughts, like, oh, youre gonna fail the course, etc. etc.

Then I went on to youtube, and was on it for an hour, then I was even more upset, because I wasted more time, and i realised i had missed mincha, so I was pissed off, and ended up slipping, in alot of situations it ends up like that, its been that way, for the past month and maybe more. I'll be working, get stuck, or cant be bothered starting. Become despondent, start browsing, get more upset, and then slip.

I find it really hard to break the cycle!!!

IF anyone has any suggestions please feel free to help

CHEERS
net

Hi Net!

To be on an unfiltered computer for guys like us is deadly. Can you get a good filter installed?

You might find that vows work, if you make them in a smart way. Like make a vow for a month that if you watch p-rn or mast. on any other day besides Sunday, you will need to take an hour walk within 24 hours, or something annoying like that.

G-d luck!

hi net -

I'm also a computer guy.

my curiosity - although helps me to get good, cushy jobs, is my downfall too.
(like when I've been clean and want to check to make sure the p*** is still there, when I've been away from it for so long. duh!)

youtube, facebook, etc (and now there is a new member of the YH squad which is even worse than the rest.. ugh! )
- all terrible and designed to bring a person down!

my basic philosphy is as such:

if a person is looking for p*** they will find it one way or the other.

a person who is NOT looking for p*** is 7 clicks away from finding it...it just kind of creeps into your field of view unknowingly... the longer you are on the computer.

a person who has found their little p*** corner of the world...is 7 clicks away from violent, death related sites (which after all is what p*** wants to do : KILL YOU !!! )

but as long as you have to be on the computer here are some suggestions:

- use some kind of timer to remind you to get up and walk away from the computer at regular intervals
- drink a LOT of water (this will make sure your brain is hydrated, and thinking clearly...take away the desire to fill up on cookies, cakes, coffee and other non-essentials which management seems to think computer people thrive on, and need to function normally). ANd will also serve as a constant reminder to get up from the computer (even just to go to the bathroom)
- keep a Torah site opened in the background...makes it harder to slip when there is Torah present.
- keep a dreydel on your desk...when your fingers are itchy for something to do, rather than click and flick...spin teh dreydel.

if you feel a slip coming on... just keep thinking
HELP
HELP

until you are able to at least lip the words...

try to get the words out ... maybe even say them out loud!!!

daven!

b'hatzlacha

with brachas !

dov in israel

Thanx alot guys for your suggestions, They soumd really good! I  will try and implement them.

The only thing is, I think the crux of the problem is ,the constant anxiety about not being up to date with my course, or things going wrong, and giving yp, the minute I get stuck. I feel like I need a strategy to stop myself coming to that situation, or what to do once I'm there.

Cheers