thsuva and charuteh means:  i regret that i did wrong... i should have done different... i am still a good person even though i fell into a bad place...i forgive myself for doing this... hashem please also forgive... i am still a pure holy jew...we need to take responsibility but not crush ourselves internally... that we are bad.... the inner crushing does more harm then the actual acting out... does this make sense to you? its important you should understand the difference between WHO you are and WHERE you are WHO you are ... you are a beautiful human being , a Cheileck Eloikei Mimaal... a pure neshama you still have long POSITIVE life ahead...

WHERE you are... you are now in place that you had a fall , in a place of struggles ... but that does not define WHO are you ... you are still the same wonderful person as before the fall... hashem loves you the same..

biggest proof is that you can do thshuvah and come back to a better place.. would you agree? 

Excerpt from the E book "Bochur to Bochur"
Everyone does Aveiros, but it is important to understand that your sins do not define who you are. It is important to be able to detach yourself from those sins and understand that that is not who you really are. The real you, is deeper than sin**  If you don’t understand this, rather you believe that the sins you do define who you are, then you will never be able to change or grow. You can’t grow out of being yourself. If sin is what you feel defines you, then you are stuck forever. But it does not. Although we are supposed to strive to refrain from sinning as much as we possibly can, it is normal to sin. We all have failures.

**. This is from an awesome shiur by Rabbi Daniel Kalish Shlita ("SelfAwareness")

Here is a link to the Ebook  https://www.guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/bochur-to-bochur

If I may add a point about Teshuva ...
Imagine a new child taking his first steps in front of the proud parents. He gets to his feet, takes a few steps ― and falls flat on his face. The parents clap with excitement and joy. But if you analyze the scenario, shouldn't the parents be upset? After all, the child fell down!

The answer is obvious. A parent doesn't judge a child based on whether he walks or falls, but rather on whether he took a few steps in the right direction.

So, too, with Hashem... We are not in competition with anyone but ourselves. What concerns Him is whether we're making a sincere effort to move in the right direction. Hashem doesn't ask you to change in an area that is not yet feasible for you to change. We are commanded to be human beings, not angels. This means making a serious commitment to change ― and taking the right steps at the right time.