10 points that helped me in life - I hope it will help you too
1- Focus on the fact that what we lack is nothing in comparison to what we already have. Consider your eyes, for example. You couldn't buy an eye for a million dollars. Yet God gave you a pair of eyes that work more accurately and efficiently than the most sophisticated computerized digital vision devices. And they're free!
2- Happiness occurs when we make the decision to focus on the blessings in our lives, no matter how challenging or formidable the struggles we face simultaneously. If our happiness results from the blessings we already have, we can always find happiness because we always have at least something. But if our happiness is determined by what we don’t have we will never be happy because we can always have more. By definition, there will always be something we don’t have.Happiness is also an obligation. Western society thinks that happiness is optional. ("If I want to be depressed, that's my prerogative.") But really, being happy is part of being considerate to those around us. When a person lives optimistically and joyfully, his energy spreads. A miserable person, likewise, spreads misery.
3- We must learn the proper perspective in life by answering the question: Why did Hashem create us? He is infinite and does not need us, so why did He create us? We must answer this question if we want to get anywhere in our relationship with Hashem. In Chapter 1 of Mesillas Yesharim, Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzato (the Ramchal) explains that the only reason Hashem created us was to grant us kindness. Hashem put us in this world and gave us the Torah and mitzvos so we could earn the ultimate happiness — drawing pleasure through a direct connection to Him — which we receive in the Next World. This experience is by far the most enjoyable feeling we can experience; nothing in this world comes close. Our mitzvos are opportunities to earn that experience, and that is why Hashem put us in this world.
4- It is vital that you have a relationship with Hashem. Call out to Him whenever you are in trouble, and thank Him whenever things go right. Always view Hashem as your loving Father Who is reaching out to you — especially when you sin.Although our actions have consequences, Hashem never rejects us. He is not a sadistic dictator looking to zap people, and we must not view Him that way. Always remember that Hashem loves you and believes in you, no matter what you have done.
5- We must realize that although we are accountable for our actions, if we have committed one or even many sins in this area, that does not make us bad. Many good people and even some great tzaddikim struggled with their desires, because it is so hard to have complete control. We must remember that we are good and that deep down, we want to do what’s right. Though we might not always feel it beneath our desires, that is the truth. We must also remember that even one victory is a tremendous accomplishment. It is worth coming to this world for even one second of self-control! To go against our nature and succeed in this area is a legendary achievement because it is so challenging. It really does matter that we succeed
6- physical pleasures can’t make us happy is that they only last for a short time and then are gone, leaving us with nothing. To make matters worse, realizing this limits our enjoyment during the short time we experience it. Deep down, we know that something that lasts so short can’t be what we really seek. If the pleasure is forbidden, there is the added problem of guilt. The uneasy feeling we experience when we know what we are doing is wrong is already in full swing by the time we give in. This limits our ability to enjoy the pleasure. Clearly, despite all the false advertising, pleasure does not make us happy, even during the short time we experience it.
7- Each human being possesses a unique combination of personality, talents, timing and circumstances – a specific role to play in this world. Our role is dependent on many factors – not only our innate talents, but also on the needs of the times.The important thing is to discover your unique contribution – and fulfill it.
8- Why do we have such a strong drive to be "good?" Because the perception of self as "good " is a fundamental need of every human. It is this self-respect and self esteem that energizes us for living. If a person doesn't think he's good, he loses much of the will to live.
9- We each have the potential to make a significant contribution to society. The Sages teach that everyone is supposed to say, "The whole world was made for me!" This does not mean that you can plunder the property of others. Rather, every individual is responsible for the world. Act accordingly – you're here to straighten it out.
10 - If we ever slip up badly, we can use that to spring us forward to reach heights far beyond where we would have reached had we not fallen. We can turn our mistakes into the most productive events in our lives!• We must decide to take control of our lives, no matter whose fault it is and how many excuses we have. The determination to stand up and fight will give us the strength to defeat the yetzer hara.
• As long as Hashem keeps us alive, that means He is helping us fight our yetzer hara and He knows for a fact that we can defeat him! This is encouraging news for us because it means that we can reach greatness!
