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LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS!

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TOPIC: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 30749 Views

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 27 Apr 2018 11:02 #330375

lionking
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Sorry to hear about your fall. Thanks for the share, I know how hard it is to be honest and publicly admit to having a problem, it takes tremendous amount of courage.

I had prepared a longer post, but it got deleted after typing for 15 minutes. I guess I shouldn't write what I had wanted to write.
Just one quick question, what are planning to do this time around differently than the other times? You don't have to post it here. You can write it down on a paper for yourself. Just try to really be honest with yourself.
Git Shabbos!

My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 03:01 #330407

lionking OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 966 Karma: 102	Git Voch! How was Shabbos? We are rooting for you.
	My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 04:22 #330410

ieeyc
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ieeyc wrote on 25 Apr 2018 23:39:

I dont have the leshonos in front of me ,but here goes.

The Gemara says that an isha is like a untensil full of feces and blood,but nevertheless everyone is running after her ,how i this so? Gezeras Melech he! Which means,in order for there to be a continuation to mankind, Hashem decreed that men have to be attracted to women (and the decree is being obeyed pretty good!) eventhough in reality, its something to be disgusted/not lusted .

Does this mean that women dont or should not be respected?G-d forbid to suggest such a thing! A nonjew is Tzelem Elokim-Made in the Image of Hashem,and a Jew has that, plus a Neshama Kedosha,so respect upon respect is required(unless that person is a rasha meroosha).

Does this mean that i MUST lust after her?( hey a decree is a decree).G-d forbid to say that ,Viatah timshol bo! and you will/should conquer him ( the yetzer hara)!

So my main question is where does this leave us, regarding the temptations of the street? And in what practical way can we make use of this precious secret from Chazal?(and it is a secret because suggest this idea to someone who is not ma`amin in Chazal and ask if they agree to this ,or are they vehemently opposed.)

To be continued ,be`ezras Hashem.

A gut voch Lion king , thank you for your concern, BH doing well Bli ayin hara,may we all have kochos to get out of these issues and do what we are supposed to do in this world with a clean heart( and clean eyes!)

To continue my above post , id just like to say something in the name of Rav Avigdor Miller ZTL

One time Rebbe Akiva was invited to spend the night at the palace of a certain king,the hospitile king sent to harlots to Rebbe Akivas room,in the morning the king asked them," how the night was?" , and they said that this Rabbi sat the whole night with his back to them wretching ang gagging!So the king approached Rebbe Akiva and asked," were they not pleasing to you?"Answered Rebbi Akiva, " What could I do, they smelled to me like dead rats "(or something similiar , i dont know where this Gemara is)

This gemara is very similiar to the Gemara above that says that an isha is like a vessel full of manure and feces,so of course this sounds (and is )a very high madriega worthy of the Ta`naim Hakedoshim,but says Rav Miller, there IS something that we can take out to deal with the nisyonas of lust b`zman haze,and that is as following,whenever Rebbe Akiva would pass by something disgusting in the street, a dead animal , someone didnt clean up after their dog etc,Rebbe Akiva would associate in his mind and think that lust ,( an isha), is as this thing laying on the floor, so when that great test happened ,Rebbe Akiva was able to pull out the picture of the dog dirt from his memory , and associate it with those 2 harlots.

So thats a great tool to use ,id just like to share how i apply it ,and it has helped me in certain nisyonos, and that is , when I walk in the street and i see the dog dirt , i stop and stand and look at it ,(not easy to do the first couple of times)and think how disgusting it is and think, "Do I have an urge to pick this thing up and to hug it and kiss it? Of course not! Well this disgust that im experiencing now is exactly how I should feel when im faced with a nisayon of a woman approaching me in the street that i feel a lust for ,and if i dont feel this digust, only lust, i tell myself that im thinking wrong ,because chazal,who have have the light of Torah which enables them to see things as they truly are, and when i do actualy meet up with a nisayon it does help.

It works if you work it and youre worth it!

I hope this share could be of use to somebody,a gut voch!

לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Last Edit: 29 Apr 2018 04:42 by ieeyc.

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 07:02 #330415

lionking
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Hi iyeec,

Honestly, can you identify what do you struggle with? Do you struggle with the Yetzer harah of Taava, issues with Shmiras Eineiyim, etc...? Or are you like me and struggle with personal midos defects, and act out as a solution to my problems?

Allow me to explain:
I do not have a Shmiras Eineiyim problem.
I do not have a porn problem.
I do not have a HZ"L problem.

I have a problem dealing with stress, resentment, ego, low self esteem (Yes, they can co-exist), and feelings of being down.
I act out as a solution to these problems.
In all practical senses, I am like the druggie who can go and pull out a used dirty heroin syringe and shoot himself up with it. He knows it is dirty, he knows it will make him sick, but he is desperate for his fix. My knowing that a woman is dirty would not stop me from needing my fix. I need to work on the root issues to not need the fix in the first place.

Hatzlocha Rabba

My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 07:20 #330416

ieeyc
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GrowStrong wrote on 26 Apr 2018 08:33:

lifebound wrote on 26 Apr 2018 05:47:

GrowStrong wrote on 26 Apr 2018 04:55:

Do you think if you get to the bottom of this you will be able to stop masturbating?
Is masturbation an intellectual exercise for you?

To be fair, this is the "Torah & Chizuk Approach" board, which is, and I quote:

A Board for Yidden who are not as addicted, and for whom Torah/Chizuk/Chassidus can still help them stop.

Just pointing that out.

Yup I totally get that... I just felt that after what must be nearly a year of posting and 5 days clean, that ieeyc is not going to get clean from Torah and Chizuk..
Hence my question.

boy ,you give up on me quick,but you havent met my stubborn streak,up up and away ,90 days here I come!!(be`ezras Hashem!)

לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 07:55 #330417

ieeyc
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lionking wrote on 29 Apr 2018 07:02:

i hear you, youre saying that even if you know that a woman is dirty,you will still act out,so are you saying that you dont need the above mentioned Gezayras melech , because youre running after her anyway ,feces and all?

לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 08:57 #330418

lionking
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ieeyc wrote on 29 Apr 2018 07:55:

lionking wrote on 29 Apr 2018 07:02:

What I was saying is, that these Gemoras and Droshos can be really helpful when I am sober and living a normal life.
However when I am insane, then unfortunately yes, I will act out, (borrowing from your lexicon) "feces and all".
However, here is the disclaimer, this is just me, (and perhaps some others), You might be different which is why I am asking if you can identify what your root issues are.

Signed by someone who truly cares about you.

My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 09:07 #330419

ieeyc
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What i mean/want to say is ,welcome to the wonderful world of musar,take a chazal, the one with isha -kiton maley tzo`ah vidam-a woman is compared to a vessel full of manure and blood , etc, say it once, twice,thrice...with a nigun , dont have a musar nigun?take a hesped nigun that you know of, go to a shteeble where no one is present,and say this chazal with the nigun,whenever yousay maley tzo`ah ,pull out that picture of dog decoration and eventualy it will sink in,and when you walk in the street the woman passing you wont bother you, im not interested in manure . of course keep your eyes on the ground ,you cant make your eyes hefker and look wherever you want and hope that the chazal will help,but if you do the right shemira ,the chazal WILL help, you just have to WORK ITit will also help that youll WANT TO DO THE RIGHT SHEMIRA,try it ,you might like it.
sounds crazy? be crazy and try it!
it HAS helped me in certain circumstances. Hatzlacha!

לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח נכון חדש בקרבי

to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring
. humility ,i humbly thank you

Last Edit: 29 Apr 2018 09:25 by ieeyc.

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 09:09 #330420

lionking OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 966 Karma: 102	I noticed that this is the Torah and Chizuk board and this is your personal thread. I apologize for the intrusion. My comments were not appropriate for someone that can still stop with torah and chizuk. Keep on posting!
	My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 09:28 #330421

ieeyc OFFLINE Banned Soaring to Har Sinai on the wings of an eagle! Posts: 572 Karma: -9	no problem,it was good shmoozing with you,hatzlacha
	*לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח* *נכון חדש בקרבי* to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring . humility ,i humbly thank you

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 15:31 #330431

ieeyc OFFLINE Banned Soaring to Har Sinai on the wings of an eagle! Posts: 572 Karma: -9	hi , im just wondering if anyone on this site has a problem that they know to look at women /znus is an aveira ,but they look anyway?
	*לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח* *נכון חדש בקרבי* to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring . humility ,i humbly thank you

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 15:39 #330432

ieeyc OFFLINE Banned Soaring to Har Sinai on the wings of an eagle! Posts: 572 Karma: -9	Warning: Spoiler! im sure there are those who thougt to the above post," :Snort!: Whats he asking?! We ALL have that problem!" If that was your thought ,id like to ask you ,how would YOU describe what happened?Why did you DO what you KNEW is forbidden?
	*לב טהור ברא לי אלקים , ורוח* *נכון חדש בקרבי* to all my friends who heeded my request to be so generous and give me a negative karma for the sake of me acquiring . humility ,i humbly thank you

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 15:45 #330433

lionking OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 966 Karma: 102	How would you answer that question???
	My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 15:48 #330434

lionking OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 966 Karma: 102	lionking wrote on 29 Apr 2018 09:09: I noticed that this is the Torah and Chizuk board and this is your personal thread. I apologize for the intrusion. My comments were not appropriate for someone that can still stop with torah and chizuk. Keep on posting! I wrote "someone". My question still remains, Are you that someone?
	My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: LUST OR DISGUST?LETS DISCUSS! 29 Apr 2018 15:50 #330435

lionking OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 966 Karma: 102	ieeyc wrote on 29 Apr 2018 15:39: Warning: Spoiler! im sure there are those who thougt to the above post," :Snort!: Whats he asking?! We ALL have that problem!" If that was your thought ,id like to ask you ,how would YOU describe what happened?Why did you DO what you KNEW is forbidden? אין אדם עובר עבירה אלא עם כן נכנס לו רוח שטות.
	My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com