"I get to..... "    Insead of "I've got to"

What is white knuckling?


Yosef:  Did you ever go on a roller coaster?
Were your hands holding on for dear life?
Yosef:  or do you have ur hands up in the air?
me:  hold tight
Yosef:  what color are ur knuckles when u r holding tight?
me:  white
Yosef:  Why r u holding tight?
me:  scared for my life
Yosef:  Because you are afraid that ride is not SOOO safe.
You are afraid that you will fall out, C"V
Sent at 12:53 PM on Thursday
Yosef:  But those that have complete confidence in the engineers & designers & ride operators can hold their hands up
If we think that we are in control we need to hold on tight, BUT if we are confident that Hashem is doing a GOOD JOB leading his world, we don't need to hold on tight for dear life...
Another point.
A simpler point
is
that
when we are holding something tight, hanging on for dear life, our knuvkles turn white
but
if we are just coasting along
w/o a struggle then the knuckles are relaxed
If we are in a constant struggle with the YH, we are every minute fighting,
"should i look or not?"
then even if we stay clean, it is not yet the ideal, we are only 'White-knuckling soberiety'
It may be dificult to hold on as tight always, & it is possibly that one day he won't hold on as tight & he will fall.
me: 
Yosef:  If someone learns how to just coast along w/o 'needing/ lust at all, then he is in a much better position!
It is MUCH easier to work on ourselves from the vantage point of soberiety.
Even if it is only white-knuckle soberitey
after working, we WILL reach a point where it will be smooth sailing!!!



Special thank you to Yosef Hatzadik.  sorry for starting yet another new thread.


Note:  This post was copied from a google chat with yosef hatzadik.  YH gave permission to copy it here.  However while typing the lines above, YH did not know that his words would be printed, otherwise he would have been more careful to keep it perfect.  Any imperfections in this post reflect the imperfections of world only.  YH is perfect.

world wrote on 13 Jan 2011 18:15:


The Understatement of the Century!  > ;D

An addict in recovery does not allow himself into fear.  The troubles are still there, but they don't lead to RID.

Pain is mandatory.

Suffering is optional.

No more flailing arms.



1.  Relax.

2.  Follow instructions.



Don't drown.
You have spent years trying to get out of the addiction YOUR WAY, without results.
Don't drown.
Follow the 12 steps.

You are being given DETAILED  STEP-BY-STEP  INSTRUCTIONS.
You are being told EXACTLY what you have to do to break free.

Going into    A and W    instead of      RID


Alter your perceptions.

Woe to us who  DON'T FIND VALUE in what we do.

We are SPEED FREAKS


we need to learn the SLOW DANCE.

Be a human being    rather than a    human doing.

email your CORE VALUES

pull out your    CORE VALUES  list  during the day...



ask yoursel    "Am I living my core values?"

THERE'S MEANING AND PURPOSE TO EVERYTHING

Decision.  Not resolution.


Decision
De is two        as in two options.
cision is kill            as in kill one option.

A resolution is missing a decision.  It therefore cannot succeed.

world wrote on 17 Jan 2011 17:40:


The Gemara (Berochos 11. 16:  Sukkah 25.) says that even if a person ship full of freight merchandise sunk in the sea, the "suffering" is only optional!

Great thread, let's turn it into the most visited thread on the forum.

Monday: To commit to the program we have to surrender our jobs, or marriage, or convictions, you name it... that also, JUST LET GO AND LET G-D


Tuesday: Hitting rock bottom. there where many perspectives proposed, and here are a few.

• Would you want your children to be where you are?


• My life is unimaginable, a better option awaits.


• "There is no such thing as rock bottom, it's really a bottomless pit." [Barditchiv]

Wednesday:                                                         

• We sexaholics put-up a good front of being sensible capable people, but when it comes to lust we bring our promising worlds down crashing  down on our heads.


• Lust is not free, it can cost us our jobs, and in doing so our livelihood and our families financial security. "Free" pics can cost us in other ways.


• Where has our willpower gone?{see below for my answer}


• Lust is our allergy, we need to explore our minds and learn the cause of our disease.


• Since this disease is rooted in our brain, self control can be נמשל to dousing a fire with gasoline (to extinguish it of course...).


• אין לך רשות להרהר אחריה, stop questioning the steps, it's worth it if you work it. Our power-hungry thirst for control doesn't allow us to let-go, even the 12 steps have to be under our control. Let go....

Tuesday:

• There are 3 kinds of business in life. yours, mine and G-Ds. Living someone elses business seperate me from hahsem, creating resentment anxiety and fear.


• When we meet our thoughts with understanding and awareness they let go of me


• Small stories breed bigger stories, and bigger stories breed major theories on life, untill we are so depressed to leave our bedroom


• All pain and suffering is the result of stories.