Ahoy Shipmates - Please report to the Captain's Deck pronto!

I wanted to share an exchange I had with a fellow shipmate as he struggled with completing the 4th Step Worksheet.

Please read his email to me which is followed by my reply.  And notice that there is something for all of you to be aware of.

So please finish up your Worksheets and let's schedule our 5th Step Call.

Looking FORWARD
Duvid Chaim
On Dec 13, 2009, at 1:56 AM, a fellow shipmate wrote:

> Hi Duvid Chaim,

> I wanted to let you know the status on my worksheet:

> I've got hundreds of resentments down on paper and I'm not even near

> finished. If this is about getting all those resentments out and onto

> paper, this is going to take a bit more time. Please excuse me.

> Because I sorta expected the resentment sheet to be so long, I jumped

> right into the fears sheet so I don't get overly caught up with the

> resentment sheet. I've listed out all my fears, and when I finish with

> the resentment sheet, I'll get back to the remaining columns.

> I've got a very limited amount of private time, so with a minute here

> and a minute there this will get finished.

> I'm looking forward to finishing this soon and moving on into step 5

> with you.

> Thanks for everything!


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Dear Shipmate:

Soon you'll be eligible for as a record holder in the Guinness Book of Records!!

You know the 80/20 rule.

I suggest you change your focus and list the most important ones now - completing all four columns - then move on to completing the other two worksheets.

The 4th Step Worksheets are a life long process and you can (and will want to) come revisit them down the road.

It's too important that you give me what you've got and we engage in the 5th Step asap!

Sometimes I've seen sponsees spend too much time on a process and over analyze something "too death" - which is not only a delay tactic ("I don't want to face it") but also a Character Flaw which is a further manifestation of EGO.

Sometimes we use this approach to once again "TAKE CONTROL."

And we tell ourselves that we are "justified" since we're doing this for someone else - my spouse, my parents, my children, my boss, etc.

This approach in life ultimately fuels our RID and leads to our acting out - so we can take Immediate Control. When a task at hand - be it a job task or a self discovery task or more often a "relationship task" - gets too demanding for us, what a quick fix and relief it is to fall back into our addiction and Act Out!!

Remember, we addicts are the best at making excuses and rationalizing our disease behaviors.

I can't say if this is going on with you but I wanted you to be aware of this phenomena.

Please wrap it up and let's schedule the 5th Step Call this week!

Looking FORWARD

Duvid Chaim