Chevra
Just when we thought we were on calm seas, a gale force wind blows in and almost knocks us off our feet.
That's how it feels when we read the brutally honest messages of the authors of the Big Book; following the list of the 12 Steps.
At first, it seems like they're going to be real gentle with us; when they tell us "Do not be discouraged." And "We are not saints." And I really take comfort in knowing that it's about progress not perfection.
But then we get slammed with the "first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success!"
Wait just a minute. If you're an outsider looking in at my life, you'd see lots of success - A beautiful home, nice cars, attractive wife, model kids, money in the bank, popularity and more. Surely, I got my life figured out! Why I can claim that "I'm a self-made Man!"
And besides that I'm a nice guy. I know what to say, when to say it, how to butter up my wife. I'm a likable person. And I usually get my way. And when things don't go my way, I just think to myself, that I just need to try harder.
You see, I've been "a victim of the delusion that I can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if only I manage well."
Do you remember when we discussed something very hard for us to all hear - You're getting in the way of your own success.
How nice of the authors to tell us on page 62, "Selfishness - self centeredness! That we think is the root of our troubles."
And then they give us the biggest punch in our kishkes when they tell us, "So our troubles, we think are basically of our own making and that the addict is an extreme example of Self-Will Run Riot!!
Run for cover shipmates. We've taken some big blows today. And I thought the Somali Pirates were bad!
Fortunately, And Once Again, the authors give us some hope - that in spite of ourselves - we still can find safety and freedom. Why, because G-d makes that possible.
Looking FORWARD to embarking on the Fourth Step
Duvid Chaim
PS - Worksheets to come in my next email in a few.