[I posted this on [b]MosheF's thread[/b] - , but I figured it's worth sharing in the BM. Freiliechen Chanuka!]
I got the feeling from this thread that you really really want to stop, but maybe that deep desire, as deep as it is, has not made it into the kishkes (maybe a parve kishke, but not into the fleishigeh kishke). I think the way to penetrate the fleishigeh kishkes is to dwell more on the physical threats of living with this lust. Maybe reading some of the stories about where lust has progressed for many of those here on GYE, how it's effected their family life, their wives, their children. Hit rock bottom while you're on top! But don't dwell TOO much on the negative. Think about those people who were at the bottom - so much lower than you and I - and have managed to put their lives back together and live clean and connected, to the world and especially to HKB"H whose loving embrace they've taken comfort in. HKB"H does Nissim, and He does them regularly for people who are absolutely ready to change. Ask people who have seen the Nissim in their lives.
It's Chanuka tonight, and just about right now for the Eretz Yisroel Chevra, and Chanuka is when HKB"H shows us his constant presence among us. Read Nesivos Shalom on Chanuka if you can get your hands on the Kuntres. His persistent message is that the Yivanim tried to darken the light of HKB"H b/c they knew that the survival of Klal Yisroel was dependent on the light of HKB"H bringing clarity to the world. Klal Yisrael can't survive without that light; life is black, lonely, filled with slips and falls in the dark. The Neis of the Menora, which is the Avoda on Chanuka, was HKB"H calling out to us amidst the dark, begging us to let Him shine for us as it were. His light is ever present. It may appear to be just a small flame on a window sill, but it's there and the closer you come to it the more you can see and the stronger you feel it's heat, it's power. Let the light in, come closer to it - HKB"H is calling out.
