I just saw both of these posts.
1daat wrote on 02 Sep 2010 05:00:
I lived a whole long lifetime as a lie. Accepting someone who lies as part of their addiction is not an issue for me. Like Dov said, Lies shmies. At the end of all the "who are you really" drama, we're all left with one question: Do we wanna clean up or hit bottom?
But now I'm reluctant to pour my heart out to you to help you in any way I can Not14 wrote on 31 Aug 2010 14:15:
About a month ago I introduced myself to GYU in a thread named "help I'm 14 years old" as a 14 year old teen, now, the truth of the matter is that I'm actually 16 (soon 17), but this is hardly the issue, the point is that I also gave off a clear impresion that I am one of those extremely innocent, young and confused 'just hit puberty' kids, who come from an very ultra chasidic family, and who sometimes just can't seem to control the need to masturbate, hence the type of questions I asked in that thread, which is still there for all to see.
As ironic as it may seem, yes! I was indeed using - of of all the dirty sites out there - this site the site made to help people break their addiction, to accomadate part of my addiction!
I've got a 20 year old and a 17 year old. I guess you could be a gifted 17 year old writer--"Hence" and hyphens and proper placement of commas, "accommodate", "ironic as it may seem". Maybe you are what you say you are. And you have a gift for writing in English. I'm not sophisticated enough to parse that out.
Do you hear the doubt, the hesitation to trust? That feels really bad for me to be feeling about someone who just came clean and wants to do t'shuvah. I'm kind of in a pickle (apologies to Steve). Hashem will know what to do.
I'm glad you're staying in touch, in whatever persona works for you. In my experience this is a serious resting place for Hashem. I wish you His Peace, His Rest.
JtheMedic wrote on 01 Sep 2010 18:51:
Thank you... And I am Still in the process of telling her everything. But she doesn't want to believe me, she only thinks I am lying to her. And I don't blame her for not trusting and believing me. This isn't the first time I have told her and I keep falling back to my old ways. As much as I try I can't break out of this addiction, at least not on my own. I need guidance, I need someone to help pull me out and move on to a better life with the amazing woman that I married
Everyone knows the story of "wolf, wolf!"
These just made me think. We are coming up to the Yomim Noraim. We are all trying to change, to make new kabalos etc. We say to HaShem "this is the real me" not the other perverse me that posted last month. This time I really mean it."
But she doesn't want to believe me, she only thinks I am lying to her. And I don't blame her for not trusting and believing me. This isn't the first time I have told her and I keep falling back to my old ways.
Sorry guys for being so "negative". It just hit me like a ton of bricks.
