THOUGHTS FROM DAVENING:

(boruch Hashem le'olam - maariv in chutz la'aretz)

'Beyodcho afkid ruchi, podiso oisi Hashem Kel emes' 'in Your hand i entrust my spirit, You have redeemed me Hashem G-d of truth'.

If i entrust my spirit to Hashem, my inside, my feelings , thoughts fears etc... entrust them over to Him, ie, surrender them and let Him look after them for me, then He will redeem me from the shackles of my need for things to go my own way and therefore lust.

SUCCOS:

Rabbi Pinchos Roberts brings in his book, timeless seasons, that the principle of hashgocho protis is what succos is all about. We remember how Hashem set up camp for us in the midbar and looked after every detail of our needs. We sit under the flimsy s'cach which represents our utter dependance on Him and everything we do in a succah is all part of His command, His plan for us. Our eating, sleeping, talking, learning are all under His protection and His watch.

This prepares us for the whole year to remember that everything that happens in our lives, every little thing, is part of His plan. If the guy in front of us in line at the bank is taking forever making us late for a meeting, that is all part of His plan. Succos is step 3, we realise that our life is planned by Hashem and we aren't in control, there is hashgocho protis, He's running the show. If we can develop this belief into a daily reality, we will be well on the way towards recovery from lust and from our controling selves!

thanks great vort

i was thinking of a moshel with the same idea

  life is like a flight hashem is the pilot ,we are the passengers some first class ,most in economy ,we have our  tough times like turbulence ,we go up and down ,and

it looks as if we don’t have a pilot some times but he is there ,with steel doors separating us ,we need to keep him in mind cry to him for help ,we get our meals what

we orderd ,thats hashem feeding us every day ,there is no stopping in middle till we reach our destination ,it seems like a long flight but before we know it we    will

be there ,and then we collect our baggage , thats all our deeds that we did in this  world, then we go thru customs beth den shel maloh  we need to give a din

vchesbon on every  thing we did ,and then we get to our final destination ,so make sure you have your seatbelts fastened ,and enjoy your ride

great moshul, thanks!

PARSHAS BEREISHIS: (rashi) adam harishon split up from his wife for teshuvah, lemech came to ask about his wives wanting to split up from him after he killed kayin. Adam said, do what you were commanded to do (ie stay married and have kids) and let Hashem worry about the rest. Lemech said, how come you didn't do that? practice what you preach! Adam said, you're right! and got back together with chava and had sheis.

q. if adam knew this was the right thing to do, why wasn't he doing it and why was lemech able to change his mind?

a. (in my humble opinion) adam was nogeyah badovor, he was biased, he had his own cheshbon and it wasnt until he paskened for someone else that he was able to think clearly.

lesson - how important is it to get a partner or stam speak to someone about our desires, issues etc.. and get out of our own head, if adam harishon could be influenced by his own cheshbon, how much more so us in 21st century western society!

PARSHAS LECH LECHO:

In shlishi, Lot separates from avrohom, then he lifts his eyes and sees all the plains of sdom - potential for riches!!

b'derech remez perhaps we can say the following. Avrohom represents the middoh of chesed, when lot left him, he lifted his eyes to search and find fulfilment for his desires. When we leave the middoh of chesed, that means to say, when we stop being others-focused, we become self-focused and we raise our eyes, in our particular case quite literally, to find fulfilment for our desires.

coz as soon as we're not doing chesed, the base natural tendency to look out for our own self kicks in, we have to keep away from it by being there for others. Without chesed, we'll lift our eyes and look for 'the plains of s'dom' of our generation.

DAVENING/BENSCHING:

'boruch hagever asher yiftach b'Hashem, vehoyo Hashem mivtachoi' 'blessed is the man who trusts in Hashem and Hashem will "protect him" (as in bitachon - security)'. Our hishtadlus is to trust that Hashem is protecting us, even if we cant see it clearly at that time. With our taking the first step, Hashem will then respond by protecting us and we will be able to see it clearer. In other words, we initiate the 1st step and then He responds, the more we trust Him, the more He protects us! so lets let go of our EGO and trust Him!

PARSHAS LECH LECHO:

(17:7) 'vehakimosi es brisi' Rashi says and what is the G-d's side of the deal? the continuation of the passuk, 'to be for you a G-d'. In other words, the more we keep the our side of the bris kodesh, the more of a relationship we get with Hashem and the more of a G-d He is to us, the more He protects us and looks after us.

PARSHAS VAYEIROH:

(19:22) 'Ki lo uchal' - Rashi says that the angel in charge of destroying sedom was forced to say that he wasn't able to do it because he had previously told Lot that it was dependant on them (ki mashchisim anachnu). Therefore Hashem forced him to admit that it wasn't actually dependant on them and it was Hashem who was in charge.

If we get too cocky or complacent and tell ourselves that we are in control and we can defeat this disease (mashchisim anachnu), Hashem will arrange circumstances so that we are forced to admit it is not in our control and we are powerless. In the words of the angel - ki lo uchal - I cant do it myself, its all Hashem.

Shkoach

PARSHAS CHAYEI SOROH:

(24:67) 'vayikach es rivkoh, vatehi loi le'isho vaye'ehoveho' 'and he took rivkoh and she became his wife and he loved her'. One can be medayik the order here. In western society and certainly us as addicts, we go in for the notion of falling in love, head over heals, being swept off our feet and then getting married.  WRONG!

the torah is teaching us, that 1st we get married and then we come to love our wives. Coz, whatever comes before marriage is not real, its lust mixed in with an emotional attraction. real love comes from living and building and connecting with our wives. It's dafka real life that leads us to love them, not fantasies. Thats why yitschok only loved her after they were already married.

hey! i was gonna answer a question here from somebody but its gone! i cant remember who posted it but if you're worried that it bothered me - it didnt at all, on the contrary, thats how we grow in middos and in learning, by being pushed to constantly refine, ourselves and our torah.

Anyway, for the benefit of those who missed, the questioner referred to my previous vort, that love only comes after marriage and asked what about yaakov & rachel (29:18 & 20). I 100% hear the question, here is gonna be one of those cases where the question is better than the answer - but i would suggest that because he had already exerted great effort for her, 1st pushing the rock off the well and 2nd working for 7 years, this started off, developed and increased his love for her. Like rav dessler says, giving causes loving.

anyone is welcome to attempt to answer this question - how could yaakov love rachel so easily before they were married? yosef hatsadik - what say you, oh chavrusa of mine?

I don't have the answer, just more questions.




And Yaakov saw Rachel... and Yaakov kissed Rachel & raised his voice & cried. (29:11) - EVEN BEFORE HE EXCHANGED A SINGLE WORD WITH HER!!!!      Forget about 'Shomer negiah', He kissed a complete stranger!!!!!!



Rashi explains that he cried because he saw with Ruach Hakodesh that he won't be buried with her. Does it seem that Yaakov felt the marital connection with her already? If so, that might answer your question.







And Hashem saw that Leah is 'hated' (29:31)    Did Yaakav Avinu HATE another Jew??? V'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha???

Is the Love/Hate that is referred to in these pesukim the same thing that we call 'Love' in our lexicon? Highly unlikely!!!

I once heared that leah felt hated compared to rachel but not hated in the literal sense. like the gemorah does that sometimes, do you recall any examples of what i mean? i cant remember any atm...

an honest mouse wrote on 01 Nov 2010 23:24:


I say: I hate you!

The gemoro says: two chavrusas learning together become ENEMIES of each other [while arguing a Torah point], but they do not budge until the become LOVERS one another!

PARSHAS TOLDOS:

(27:22) 'hakol kol yaakov, vehayodayim yedei eisov'.
Eisav's way is fighting, our way is tefillah - we do NOT fight the disease, that's part of the disease, part of eisav. We use our voice - to speak to Hashem, forging a closer connection, or to speak to a friend about our struggles to get them out of our head. Our journey to freedom is through using our voice, not through fighting.