Beautiful vort (among many) that I read from last week's Parsha and hope it can be a chizuk to some. Have a wonderful Shabbos Brothers.
כִּי־תֵצֵא לַמִּלְחָמָה עַל־אֹיְבֶךָ וְרָאִיתָ סוּס וָרֶכֶב עַם רַב מִמְּךָ לֹא תִירָא מֵהֶם כִּי־יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ עִמָּךְ הַמַּעַלְךָ מֵאֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם
The אור החיים says, כִּי־תֵצֵא isn’t just a physical war, but refers to the battle with the יצר הרע - the מלחמה הגדולה – the עיקר מלחמה. The פסוק alludes to the יצר הרע having 3 specific tactics that he fights us with.
1 – The יצר הרע is a like the סוּס, an animal of war, representing that he is battle hardened, fully immersed in מִּלְחָמָה, and we are not.
2 – וָרֶכֶב, he entices us from the things that we’re made up of. It’s very hard to fight when he’s giving us what we want. Speaking to the part of us that is grafted to physicality, with all the
nitiyos, pulls, and lust. It’s very difficult to fight him when he gives us what we naturally crave – at least in part.
3 – עַם רַב מִמְּךָ. There is a tremendous history here. You are fighting not just the נסיון here in front of you, but you are fighting your own history. You were עובר עבירות and compiled טומאה over the years and the יצר הרע says “look at you, look at all these things כנגד you and realize that it’s insurmountable. You can’t overcome this and accomplish anything.”
The אור החיים’s answer is: The יצר הרע is right! He’s got the upper hand, and you can’t beat him. YOU can’t beat him. לֹא תִירָא – don’t be afraid because it’s not about you. I, Hashem, am with you. You aren’t coming with your own כח. If you try, it’s insufficient to fight the יצר הרע. But if you come with the כח of הקדוש ברוך הוא, then you can do it. Hashem helps those who come to purify themselves. The proof is because I am Hashem that took you up from אֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם. We were at the מט levels of טומאה as far as we could possibly be from being the אדם השלום that we want to be, but Hashem מַּעַלְךָ – he lifted us up from אֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם. Just like Hashem did that, he can do that in our personal fight with our יצר הרע.
רבינו יונה says it’s a לאו. We cannot fear the struggle and the futility of it – not because we can to it, but because we can’t do it. And because we’re giving ourselves over to the רבונו של עולם with סיעתא דשמיא, Hashem is in charge, and He can lift us up and take us out of any difficult נסיון that we could be in. So, all the dreams and שאיפות that a Yid feels and wants to have but he feels that he can’t accomplish it, he’s right! But it’s not up to him to accomplish it, it’s up to him to want it and to try. When he does that, פתחו לי– A person makes the effort and Hashem says “I’m going to help you”. We can’t do it on our own, but with הקדוש ברוך הוא, nothing is insurmountable.
The idea, this concept is אלול ממש. אני לדודי ודודי לי. We start off אני לדודי, we need to give our effort and ourselves up to הקדוש ברוך הוא. That’s the עבודה of אלול, to say to the רבונו של עולם: I am not in charge, I’m מבטל myself to you. Not just that I’m coming towards you, recognizing that I can’t possibly do it on my own. And then takeh ודודי לי.
The concept of a Yid getting up before ראש השנה, before the זמן of changing where he starts to change himself, he says to the רבונו של עולם I am willing to do all I can, and I recognize that I can’t do it on my own. ר' צדוק says part of the אמונה that a person has to have, aside from the אמונה in Hashem is to believe in himself. What is that? It is not that I myself, I’m so strong, I can do it. It’s the belief that הקדוש ברוך הוא can take me anywhere and therefore I am taka limitless. The opposite of what you would think. If a person is willing to accept that he can’t do it on his own, but he recognizes with a full clarity that הקדוש ברוך הוא promises that if he wants to do it, Hashem can do anything, He can make ניסים to help me change my personality, to change my DNA that I can want to finish Shas. I could want to learn. I can have a geshmak in davening. I can change a מדה. That Hashem can’t do? That’s כפירה! When a person gives up on himself, he’s ממש a כופר, says ר' צדוק, because it’s a ייאוש עיון that he’s looking at life like “I’m in control, I can’t do it”, and then gets discouraged when he can’t. It’s כפירה because I’m not in control, הקדוש ברוך הוא is in control and He is כל יכול. He can do anything. The עבודה that we have to do is תֵצֵא לַמִּלְחָמָה. We have to start the war, make the effort, go out, and submit ourselves to Hashem.
The גמרא in סוטה on .מב says the Kohen anointed for war goes out to war with the troops and he says to them “Shema Yisrael . . .” . He reads the פסוקים of אַל יֵרַךְ לְבַבְכֶם אַל תִּירְאוּ – don’t be disheartened. Let your heart not be afraid and weak. Don’t discourage everyone else around you. The שפת אמת says that after the Kohen calls back anyone with a new vineyard, wife, or house, there is a 4th thing – if you are afraid of the עברות שבידו then you go back from the מִּלְחָמָה. The שפת אמת says beautifully - you think that because you have עברות בידו that הקדוש ברוך הוא won’t help you? What is he thinking? He’s saying that I have עברות, so I’m not going to be able to fight. Hashem won’t give me סיעתא דשמיא. Then got out of here because you are going to discourage everyone else. Because it’s not true! You can have all the עברות in your hand, says the שפת אמת, and אף על פי כן, הקדוש ברוך הוא is going to help you. The belief that the fear of עברות will hold me back - that fear you have to be חוזר, because it’s an incorrect attitude. הקדוש ברוך הוא will not hold back his סיעתא דשמיא because you have past history and you have עברות, as long as you believe that הקדוש ברוך הוא can pull you out.
You try.
