Shoftim - Perek 18 Pasuk 9 - "When you come to the land that Hashem, your G-d, gives you, you shall not learn to act according to the abominations of those nations."

Says Rashi - the pasuk does not say "you shall not act" but "you shall not learn to act..." Meaning, understand their acts and how destructive they are and instruct your children, to stay away from such and such for this is a ritual of the nations. Rashi is clearly learning, that when we and our children are in clear and present danger from 'abominations, we must be active and educate. We can't turn a blind eye, but must learn of the dangers and warn regarding them! This Rashi is clear proof of the need to warn our generation of the dangers of the internet and not like those who say better not to talk about it.

The next pasuk continues: "There shall not be found among you one who causes his son or daughter to pass through fire.." Can there be anything more dangerous than placing our children in a room alone with an unfiltered internet!! Surely they will get burned!!!

(continuing the pasuk) "me'onain..." What is a me'onain? Rashi brings down the Sages who say 'these are illusionists'. Rabosai, is there a greater illusion in our days that the  abomination we call p*rn!!!! What one moment we so desire and feel we can't live without, (and which can ultimately lead us to destroy ourselves, our jobs and even our familys) and after the act is finished, poof! like a cloud of smoke the desire is gone. Hey, you have just been tricked by the greatest illusionist of our time p*rn!

Ok, so we need to educate ourselves on the dangers of this great abomination and warn others. But the illusion is so great, how can we not be drawn towards it? The answer is given to us in Pasuk 13: "You shall be wholehearted with Hashem, your G-d." Rashi explains: 'Walk with Him with wholeheartness. Look ahead to Him and do not delve into the future. But rather whatever comes upon you accept with wholeheartness, and then you will be with Him and of his portion.' Explanation - 'walk with Him', this can not be done alone. You need to give yourself and the battle over to Him. 'Wholeheartness' the Torah does not say 'be holy', but Tamim, "be complete" telling us the need to create a strong foundation to build on. 'Look ahead to Him' don't try running away from the abomination, but rather run towards Hashem. 'And do not delve into the future' don't tell yourself "its not possible for me to give this up forever" for the future is in the hands of Hashem - 'but rather whatever comes upon' we need to live in the present. 'Accept with wholeheartness' and take one day (or even an hour) at a time. 'And then you will be with Him and of His portion'.

Good Shabbos and may we be zoche to be with Him and of His portion (ie: part of the Holy GYE army)

Bava Basra, daf 2b:
The gemera attempts to bring a proof that heizik riiah (visual trespass) is considered a form of damages, which would requires proper steps to be taken to prevent this form of trespass between two shared courtyards.

"Come learn from our mishna, 'and similarly in a vegetable garden'" the general custom is to build walls between the gardener and his neighbor, we can infer from here that visual trespass is considered damaging.

The gemara rejects the proof:
"Gardens are different than courtyards, like R' Abba who said in the name of R' Huna who said in the name of Rav ' it is forbidden for a person to stand in his friends field during the time it displays a standing crop lest he become jealous and cast an ayin hara (evil eye) on the field'" thus the Sages required construction of a wall in a garden, where the gaze of a neighbor can cause actual monetary damage through ayin hara to a standing crop. But by a courtyard the absence of a wall can cause only inconvenience and loss of privacy, so we can not prove from the case of the garden that visual trespass is considered dangerous to a courtyard.

Asks Tosfos:
If we require a wall by vegetable gardens due to ayin hara, why don't we apply the same ruling to grain fields?
Answer Toasfos:
Vegetable fields are different. Why, because in vegetable fields things grow all year round and are constantly subject to ayin hara. Grain fields on the other hand are only subject to ayin hara a brief period each year - when the grain is fully grown and before it is harvested.

Asks the Rashba:
The grain fields are still subject to ayin hara parts of the year. So why can't we obligate the neighbor to help build the wall?
Rashba answers:
Because he can claim that he will not gaze at the grain field during those times.
Asks the Rashba:
Why can't the neighbor of the vegetable field make the same claim, 'I will not look'?
Rashba answers:
One can not control his gaze indefinitely therefore we can force him to construct a wall.

Rabosai, the gemera did not prove visual trespass, but it sure did prove that we are required to construct a wall around our internet access. For who amongst us can control his gaze indefinitely?

That's a BEAUTIFUL "rayah" Thank you very much for your inspiration, please keep it coming.

cleareyes613 wrote on 21 Aug 2009 01:40:
I hear my calling. 

Great post!

2B

Moem Loez-
"Ki Sesei lamichama al aivecha" the pasuk teaches us how to fight the yetzer hara. The intent of the battle is to capture those desires, not destroy them.
The Torah teaches us to serve Hashem within the context of our material existence. Thus, we are not to obliterate our physical cravings, but to transform them. In every aspect of our lives, we can and must serve Hashem.
In its raw state, the yetzer hara is not fit to serve Hashem. As the captive woman. Various preliminary steps are necessary yo purify man's physical nature. However, our ultimate intent and goal must be to serve Hashem completely, with every aspect of our personalities.

Many people on the forum have asked for help or for the cure to get rid of this urge. Rabosai that's not what this war is about. The intent of the war is to capture those urges. For example like Bardichuv, he did not say no to his urges, he said how about in 15  minutes. Over and over again till it was hours, days and weeks...
We can't slay the yetzer hara, he's an unkillable beast. We need to capture him and live with him and realize he will be a part of us until mashiach tzikenu bemehera yamenu amen!

Parsha's Ki Setzei


"Ki sivne bayis chadash, vasisa maake ligagecha, vlo sasim damim bivesecha, ki yipol hanophel mimenu."

"If you build a new house, you shall make a fence for your roof, so that you will not place blood in your house 'if a fallen one' shall fall from it"

Gemera shabbos 32a

It was taught in the academy of Rebbi Yishmael: 'if a fallen on falls from it (the roof)'. says the academy, The victim had been deserving to fall from the begining of time, for he has not yet fallen and the Torah calls him a 'fallen one'. If the fall has already been decided by Hashem, why is the blood on the hands of the owner of the roof? He did not cause him to die? The answer is, Rather this teaches us that benefit comes about through one who is worthy, and harm through one who is guilty.

Rabosai, the torah tells us to build a fence. Not so no one can fall. Not to stop someone from falling. But to build a fence for the one called a 'fallen one'. No matter what we do he's destined to fall. Still the Torah commands us to build a fence.
 
I've heard many stupid reasons against filters, one being that "what does a filter help, there is always a way around it. Or if the person is determined he will find other ways to obtain the filth". This sounds like 'if someone wants to fall (ie: is fallen) than what's the point of a filter? Well clearly the Torah does not think like that. Hashem wants us davka to install a filter for the one who is fallen. Even though he is destined to fall. Still Hashem wants us to do our part. We can't be foolish and not install a filter. Than the blood is on our hands! But if we install a filter and do everything we can, and still we fall, than 'ki yipol'. Can we stop what Hashem wants? Clearly, we also see from here the need to give the fight over to Hashem.


2) Mitzvah to install a filter from kal v'chomer:

Not only is installing a filter on your computer common sense, it is also a mitzvah. If its a mitzvah to put a fence on your roof to prevent a physical fall, how much more so is it a mitzvah to put a fence on your computer to prevent a spiritual fall!!!

This d'var torah is in honor of Kedusha who is helping change not just the individual lives of GYE members, but all of K'lal Yisroel.

Parshas Nitzavim:

Atem nitzavim hayom culchem liphnei Hashem Elokechem....
You are standing today, ALL OF YOU, before Hashem you G-d....

This was the last opportunity to establish a covenant with the totality of the Jewish people. They would shortly enter eretz yisroel and leave behind the woman and children of Reuven, Gad and half of the tribe of Menashe in Trans-Jordan.

The entire Jewish people took part in the forging of this covenant.

One of the reasons the covenant with Hashem was renewed was to add the concept of areyvus, mutual responsibility. The merit of the righteous would be shared by the entire nation. Similarly, the sin of an individual would no longer be a private matter, but affect us as a whole.

The chapter ends

Hanistaros LaHashem Elokenu v'haniglos lanu ul'vanenu ad olum laasos es kol divrei haTorah hazos

The hidden things are for Hashem, our G-d, but the revealed things are for us and for our children forever, to carry out all the words of this Torah.

Rashi - The torah is addressing the following : And if you will ask, what are we able to do? Why should the many suffer for sinful thoughts of individuals? A person does not know the hidden thoughts of his fellow man!

The Torah responds, I do not punish you for "hidden things", for they are for Hashem. But the "revealed" are for us and for our children to remove from our midsts.

Rabosai, maybe 10 years ago the problem with the internet was hidden. But today, can we possible call in hidden?? So it takes place alone in a room. Come  on, we know what's really taking place. These are lives we are talking about. People, spouses, children, even jobs are being destroyed by the internet. This is not a hidden event.

So the  'areyvus' started right then in the desert! No, rashi says the did not start until bnei yisroel left the desert and entered into eretz yisroel.

While we were wandering in the desert we were responsible for ourselves. Only after we have left the deset into eretz yisroel were we responsible for one another.

Anyone who is reading this has left there desert by crossing over to GYE. While walking blindly in our addiction, what could we possibly do? Now we are part of GYE. We have crossed over onto the path of recovery. We are all now responsible for one another and all of k'lal yisroel.

You may ask, what if I'm not ready yet? I still struggle with my addiction?  Doesn't matter. The obligation of arevus did not wait until bnai yisroel conquered and settled into eretz yisroel (as many mitzvos did) but began once they left the desert and stopped wandering, once they were on the right path, the path towards Hashem, the path of GYE!!!!

May we all be zoche to continue on the right path, of 'returning' (the real meaning of teshuva) towards our Tatte is shamayim along with all of Hashems children. Good Shabbos.

Thanks!

Ah Gishmaake Shtikel Chizik!

E.L.

Cleareyes,

Shkoyach!!
Gut shabbos!

Look at the power of the y"h. He gets us to fall. He gets us to feel depressed. He gets us not to daven.

At this moment, shouldn't we naturally call out to Hashem in tears? At this moment, don't we feel as if we have been tricked once again, and simply can't take it anymore? At this moment, don't we feel like never ever acting out again? At this moment, why aren't we calling out to Hashem??

We have no idea of the power of tefilla but obviously the y"h does. Hashem does not need our prayers. Never the less for some crazy reason, the creator of the universe, master over all, asks us to call upon Him!! And even stranger, He listens!!!

Bardichev mentioned the story of dovid hamelech. I want to bring down the story of a fellow addict named Elazar ben Dordia who visited every harlot in the world. Upon hearing of one in a distant land across the ocean, he was compelled to visit her. He took a bag of coins, boarded a boat and made the long and dangerous journey. During his visit, she burped and said to him "as this breath will never return to its place so will you never be received in teshuva".

Elazar ben Dordia ran out and sat between two mountains and requested that they ask for mercy on his behalf. They replied, "how can we plead for your mercy when we ourselves are in need of mercy?" He then asked the heavens and earth, the sun and the moon and the stars to plead for him, but they all replied the same.

Finally, Elazar ben Dordia exclaimed, "The matter of returning depends on me alone!" and cried aloud until his soul departed. A bas kol then declared, "Rabbi Elazar ben Dordia is destined for life in the World to Come.." On this Rebbi Yehuda HaNasi wept and said "One may acquire eternal life in many years, and another may acquire eternal life in one moment."

Like all of us, Elazar ben Dordia did not want to face his Creator. He pleaded to the mountains, sun, moon and stars. Eventually he realized only Hashem could help him. So for a few moments he cried out to Hashem, and Hashem heard, accepted and answered his prayers. He returned to his Creator. And to get this into our thick skulls a bas kol from heaven confirmed it to us.

Rabosai, what did R' Elazar ben Dordia do? In the moment, he felt bad, real bad. In the moment, he cried out to Hashem, and Hashem heard. Hashem listened to a man whose life was dedicated to this sin. Hashem heard the plea of a man who just traveled weeks with out stop across the globe for his next sin. And because in the moment Elazar ben Dordia cried out to Hashem he bacme R' Elazar ben Dordia and aquired Olam Haba. Truly amazing!!!

Let's take this a step further. As an addict how many times have we tried to stop??? How many times have we said never again and gone back??? True is takes an effort to start, to cry out and say never again, but compared to actually stopping.... you can't even begin to compare the two. Staying clean and changing our ways, that is the real challenge.

I dare to say how Elazar ben Dordia would have fared, but he died before he had the chance. He was an addict in the worse sense. Was he capable of living sober? Let the fact that Hashem took his soul after his moment shed light on that. Never the less, this addict, who lived his life in sin, and perhaps beyond change, IN THE MOMENT, and perhaps his only moment, called out to return to Hashem. And Hashem listened, heard and accepted his teshuva!!

Hashem knows we are not perfect. We are not expected to be perfect. He created the y"h and gave us our desires.  He knows man and how man behaves. And regardless of our bahavior He asks for our prayers.

The next time we are in the moment, use it!!!! The power of tefilla is beyond words!!! The power of tefilla from a broken heart goes beyond the beyond!!! Not even a lifetime of sin can block its path, just ask Rabbi Elazer ben Dordai. Don't let the y"h tell you otherwise. He's a liar. The last thing he wants you to do is waste the moment. The moment you have to cry out to Hashem from the bottom of your heart to return to Him!

Final thought: Our moments do not only happen after a fall. They can come to us at any time. I experienced one this morning during davening thinking about the above and the power of tefilla. Hashem wants our tefillos. When we are broken inside, that is our time to aquire eternal life, no matter what we may have just did!!

Shtark! Very Shtaark!

Thank you cleareyes! 

My thoughts on the days after Yom Kippur. Boy are they hard. But why? Shouldn't they be easy for us? At least a few days till Y"K wears off. Why are we falling or having such urges to fall just moments after the shofar blasts? It mamesh makes no sense. But its the truth!

Let's answer this question with another question. Why does Succos fall out when it does? Succos has its ties with yitzsias mitzrayim and wandering in the desert. It has nothing to do with Tishrei. So why does it fall out on the 15th of Tishrei?

The most famous answer is, that on succos we are commanded to eat outside in a succah. The succa symbolizes either the huts we lived in the desert or the clouds which protected us during our wanderings. Yitzsias mitzrayim took place during the Spring. This is the time of the year people leave there houses to enjoy the weather. People are already outside in their huts. If we were commanded to eat in a succah then, the meaning would be misconstrued. Therefore succos falls out during Fall, when people are returning to there houses.

Ok, that's a nice answer, but it doesn't answer the question 100%. Why does Succos fall out so close after Yom Kippur?

Since we are doing so well with the questions, let's ask another question

How can we not have something after Y"K? We just spent the past 40 days returning and coming closer to Hashem. We just experienced 30 days of Elul, 2 days of Rosh Hoshanna, a week of yimei teshuva and then Y"K. From the whole year Hashem is closest to us on these days. And the ability to feel Him increases as we approach Y"K. And even in the holiest day itself, Neilah is the pinnacle of it all. Who doesn't cry out then to our Father in shomayim and convince themselves in the bottom of their hearts that will never fall again. And then what? We blow the shofar and go home! Go back to regular life! How is this possible. How can Hashem create such a void in us, to bring us in so close and then send us away!??

Answer is He doesn't. He gives us a holiday. He gives us arbah minem. He gives us a succah. These are what we need to maintain our connection with Him. We take the arbah minem kineged our heart, eyes, and mouth. The heart and eyes are crucial to maintaining that connection with Hashem. "V'los so suro acharei l'vavchem v'acharei enechem" What we let into our bodies through these channels affects us tremendously. GUARD them. And we all know how important it is to GUARD what comes out of our mouth. We can't even begin to imagine the destructive forces of loshon hara and talking at forbidden times in shul.

Succa - leave your house, the comfort of this world and go out into a succa. Realize that we are only guests in this world and don't get attached to worldly pleasure. Spend 7 days with me learning this valuable lesson.

To answer our origian question, Hashem knew these days wouild be hard. Which is why He gave us Succos to fill the void left after Yom Kippur. (Please see Kedusha's post. This is also why until Succos actually begins we may not be responsible for what sins we did these days if we enter Succos the proper way)

And chazal in their wisdom know us all to well. They tell us as soon as Y"K ends, as soon as we break our fast, GO build your succa!! DON'T delay!!!! Yom Kippur has just finished, don't FALL back into your ways. Start building your succah!!! You need to do this!! And if you don't, watch out!!! You will FALL back into your old routine. Don't delay changing your old ways!!

Let us all appreciate this special Yom Tov, a true gift from Hashem. It is for us to continue to get closer to Him after our 40 days of teshuva. Learning to live with Him in the real world, by protecting ourselves from outside influences, and realizing we are only here temporarily. Only after we have learned this will we be ready to move on from YK and live through the year.

A guten Shabbos and Yom Tov.

For me, I feel like the real test began last night. Its been smooth sailing for me since Rosh Chodesh Elul (for the most part).

I had a dream on shmini atzeres that I slipped. In my dream I stopped bec I thought I heard someone coming.

Last night during maariv I almost started to cry. Yom Tov was over. The days of Elul - "ani l'dodi v'dodi li" are over. Aseres yemei teshuva is over. Succos is over. Shimini aseres is over. Simchas Torah is over. The days when Hashem is closest to us are over. I felt like a person in recovery learning how to walk with the help of crutches, and now without warning those crutches were kicked away!! The days of special siyata dishmaya are over!

In the past feeling like this may have gotten me down. Not anymore. I have changed so much since I started. I feel like a new person. Instead I realize how lucky am I to have this feeling of worry after simchas torah! Oy vey to me if I left yom tov with this feeling! How can I expect to enter the long winter months being overly confident and expect to stay clean? At this moment I feel fine, and will hopefully have no issues to 90, but I can't expect this to last. Obsticales will come. B"H I have a fear (a healthy fear) keeping me grounded and recognizing my constant need from Hashem.

So how will I manage this year? I don't need to go far for that answer. After Elul, Rosh Hoshana, Aseres Yimei Teshuva, Yom Kippur and Succos - Hashem says don't leave just yet,  stay for ONE more day, a special day 'lachem' before taking leave back to your 'regular life'. And what do chazal do with this final day? We celebrate, simchas torah.

I Clearly see three important lessons being imparted to us as we start our year:

1) Take it ONE day at a time-
How do we take this close relationship we attained during the holidays with us throughout the year? We leave our succah's, put aside our arbeh minim. How do we make this impression last? Hashem imparts this lesson to us by telling us to spend ONE more day with Him. We are being told to take it ONE day at a time. This is the valuable lesson of shmini atzeres.

2) The gift of giving-
Hashem gave us shmini atzeres to be a holiday for us. A day of parting that we are to enjoy. And what do we do? We give this day to Hashem by dancing a celebrating with His torah. We make a simchas torah. True enjoyment does not come by taking, but by giving. Can you imagine a shmini atzeres without a simchas torah? All the giving that we do is what makes the yom tov so great.
If we want to have an enjoyable year we need to stop focusing on "me me me" by taking and start focusing on others by giving. This is a the path to a happy year (and beating our addictions!)

3) Torah!!!!
The need to learn torah every day! The last thing we do before starting our year is strengthing our love for the torah.
"Barasi y"h, barasi torah tavlin"
In past generation Torah alone was the cure to our addictions. Today people may feel torah alone is not enough to overcome our addiction. If this is the case and the y"h is much stronger than in previous generations, then kal vichomer ben bino shelll kal vichomer is there a need to use torah to overcome our addictions. 
Torah keeps the y"h at bay. A day without learning and the y"h will be on top of you.
Torah will always be part of the cure, no matter what society we live in. If we want to continue our connection with Hashem, we can't forget His torah, even for ONE day!

Lech Lecha - perek 17 pasuk 24

"And Avraham was 99 WHEN HE WAS CIRCUMCISED on the flesh of his foreskin"

Shouldn't the posuk say when he circumcised himself?

Rashi - b'hemolo answers:

'Avraham took a knife and took hold of his foreskin and wanted to cut. But he was afraid because he was old. What did Hashem do? He sent forth His hand, and held together with him. As the posukp says, "v'karos imo habris" "and He cut with him the covenant." It does not say "for him", but "with him". This is found in Bereishis Rabbah 49:2 '

WOW!!!!

See from day 1 how the bris was given to us!

What does the medrash mean Avraham didn't have the strength? He was about to have another child! He ran that day and circumcised his entire household! Only 3 days later after being circumcised he was running serving guests on the hottest day of the year! He lived another 76 years! Avraham should have been able to do it himself. Clearly he still had the physical strength required.

So why couldn't he? To teach us. To teach us that one does not have the strength to keep the bris by himself, no even Avraham. In can only do it with the help of Hashem!!

Rabosai, the only way to be shomeres bris is by giving over to Hashem. Without giving over to Hashem it can not be done. We were not created with the strength to overcome this desire alone. That is why Hashem was kores the bris with Avraham hand in hand.

This doesn't mean we aren't required to do anything. The act itself of giving over means we recognize Hashem as the creator of this world, Who created us and our desires. It shows we recognize what we really are, ahpher v'epher, and we can not so much as move a pinky without Hashem willing it. Thus this recognition of Hashem's complete control over the universe along with our inability to act without His will is the yesod of creation. This merits us the gift of overcoming our desires.

Plus we have to do our part. We need to pick up the knife and cut.
Follow the halochos of shmiras enayim. Don't look at what you shouldn't , avoid walking through bad places, and get a filter. And every time we mess up we need do something about it. Make the filter stronger, move the computer to another room, read the daily chizuk and if needed get help! Tell a friend about your problem. Find an accountability partner. Call in to a 12 steps group. Join a live group. The solutions are endless. Keep working at it. Just please don't do try it alone.