Dear Boruch,

I participated in a conference call on the Thursday night right before sukkos. I believe that the methods and techniques we used, are indeed the right track for me to take to recovery. I've done some research about SA meetings, all of them seem to take place in churches?--At least in Los Angeles where I'm gonna be for the next couple of months---Is it permissible to go there for a meeting?

Also, do you recommend any SA meeting, or only specific ones?

I also have gotten a hold of the sexahaulics anonymous book---do you consider that recommendable literature for me?

Boruch Replies:

Hello ---,

Rav Shmuel Kamenetzky Shlit"a and many other poskim encourage people with lust problems to attend SA meetings even when they are held in Church classrooms or other rooms as long as they are not in the main sanctuary.

I would recommend that you find a meeting that you will realistically be able to attend on a regular basis and if you like it, keep going back.

The SA book is very useful in its detailed discussion of the lust problem. Unlike other addictions, with sexual addictions the lust is just as powerful - if not more powerful - than the act.

Are there clubs all over the world in which people get together and pay and throw dollar bills to see alcoholic drinks being poured out? Are there movies that people go to in their masses which are devoted to explicit scenes of people drinking alcohol? We know that when it comes to sexual lust, there is a multi-billion dollar industry involved in arousing lust and there is no equivalent in other objects of addiction.

There are two chapters really worth focusing on in the White Book. "Step Zero" (Getting Started) and "Overcoming Lust and Temptation". Beyond that, it is worth reading the entire book once and re-reading it from time to time.

The main program for me and those I have seen with the best recoveries is the program of the Big Book. However, had I not used the white book I would have substituted the word alcohol with "sex". Thanks to SA and the white book, I substitute the word alcohol with "lust".

That is a fascinating question. Can/should one wear a Kippah? It might be a chillul hashem for a Jew to be in a church?

-INH

Ineedhelp!! wrote on 25 Oct 2009 16:32:


Read Part 2 of this story: www.guardureyes.com/GUE/OurStories/RecStory10.asp

I didnt mean on a chilul hashem aspect in genral for SA meetings. I meant a chilul Hashem aspect in terms of going into a church with a kippah on.

Does anyone know what happened to Boruch? I was in his Back to Basics call and he ended it a while back. Havent heard from him in a while and I used to be in contact with him quite often. Back to the Basics is a good program for people like me who have been through a 12 step program already. Anyone have any ideas?

-Yiddle

Does anyone know where Boruch went, or if he's doing any groups?  ???

guardureyes wrote on 11 Jan 2010 10:01:


Hello everyone, I apologize for the very long absence - I have been extremely busy and overloaded just with face-to-face work but B"H getting more of a handle and intend BE"H to start to post on these forums.

We have a group only open to people who believe they are addicts (sexaholics) on Monday evenings in Brooklyn at 7 PM and there is a call-in number:

Access number (218) 844-8230

Participant code 262350#

Back to Basics at 7 PM

Regular Sexaholics Anonymous meeting starts at 7:45 PM


Have a very good Shabbos

Its good to hear a sign of life form you reb Boruch. I was really getting worried about you...

That's great news. I had already begun to fear the worst...  :-[  ;)

I assume the info on [u]this page[/u] is still valid then?

I'm a little confused about what you wrote though. Is this a live meeting that people call in to, to join? How do they join - are they on speaker phone and hear everyone else in the room?

And what do you mean "Regular Sexaholics Anonymous meeting starts at 7:45 PM" ? Live, on phone, or both?

How many people call in these days? Or has there been a break for a while?

And can I advertise this call in the chizuk e-mails to get more guys to join?

And are there any people who have been through back-to-basics that can tell us how the group went, and about the success they saw through this program? I could use these testimonials to help get others to join too.

Thanks.