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Can we revive this board?
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On this board, everyone is encouraged to share their journey through the 18 tools of the GYE handbook and get Chizuk and answers from everyone else here as well!

The GYE handbook provides a systematic framework for breaking free of this addiction. But just reading it alone won’t do very much if we don’t “work” the tools therein. So after reading through the GYE handbook once, we go back and start again from the beginning, this time taking it slowly and giving each tool a lot of careful thought. Have we tried the first few tools yet? What parts have we still not tried? Do we have questions, comments, doubts about any of the tools? Slowly but surely, tool by tool, day by day, the GYE handbook - together with the group support of this board - will provide you with the best framework possible for systematic growth and progress.
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TOPIC: Can we revive this board? 1682 Views

Can we revive this board? 22 Sep 2010 02:00 #78886

  • shteeble
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Any volunteers to try and revive this board?

I would like to go through the handbook together with a group.

Last Edit: 04 Oct 2010 01:32 by .

Re: Can we revive this board? 28 Sep 2010 03:19 #79203

yes. i agree. except, i was never (activly) in the gye community when this board was active, so idk how to use it. but if you start, ill follow you.
lets start with the attitude handbook? step one. knowing what we are up against. anyone have anything to start off with?
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Re: Can we revive this board? 28 Sep 2010 03:40 #79207

  • shteeble
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Dear soldier,

Thank you for accepting the challenge.

You just got me to read the first step in the attitude handbook.

Ok, the idea expressed here is that this is no small problem.

It is an addiction.  The author also speaks about all this neuro stuff which I am already familiar with from my reading.  It basically means that the brain gets used to getting you out of pain (boredom, anger, worry, etc. ) by supplying you with the pleasure that it is most used to.

It is also expressed here that in order to win, we have to constantly be working on improveing our situation.

I found this first step to be pretty straightforward.  Any questions, or ideas?
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Re: Can we revive this board? 28 Sep 2010 04:01 #79210

very good. and must be said: this is very key and must always be remembered. sometimes we go weeks clean and we feel like we won. this step tells us, NO it doesnt leave you. you are still and addict.
on the won hand it is a mussar/ a chizuk telling us we are never done with it. on the other hand it is comforting for the new guy who is just starting to work on himself understanding that he is truly normal.

i agree, it is pretty straitforward. good? ready for step 2?
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Re: Can we revive this board? 28 Sep 2010 04:20 #79215

i actually have a question. in the 1st step it says that the disease is in the head and acting out is just a symptom so therfore our goal needs to be to stop the lust (besides for stopping the symptoms of acting out) what does that meen though? how does one control that desire (which is the disease)?
maybe im getting comfused thought, it says that the goal has to be to stop lusting, but i think that just comes with time of controling yourself....make sence?
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Re: Can we revive this board? 28 Sep 2010 11:37 #79233

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dear soldier,

re: your question...

It would be helpfull if you could copy paste a direct quote from the handbook which yo don't understand.

This way i don't hav to go through the whole piece again to try to figure out the answer.

It does seem like i would have the same question though.



I think that each step of the handbook deserves its own thread for clarity purposes.  This way, it is also eassier to follow up on each step's discussion.

You can put up a new topic "Attitude Handbook Step 2 " whenever, or maybe I'll do it... or whoever.....

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Re: Can we revive this board? 28 Sep 2010 16:38 #79250

this is the quote

The behaviors are only symptoms of the disease. Whether the behaviors are browsing inappropriate websites, self-pleasuring or other inappropriate activities, the common denominator between them all is an addiction to “lust.” Trying only to stop the behaviors, while still holding on to the lust, may be helpful in training ourselves not to act on our compulsions, but that alone will ultimately not be enough. Our goal must be to stop lusting altogether, not just to stop this behavior or another. Lusting for us is like alcohol to an alcoholic, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s vodka, wine, or beer. (The Sefer haChinuch – Mitzva 387 compares lust to alcohol addiction). If we try to stop inappropriate behaviors only, but we continue lusting all the time, it is like immersing in the Mikva while holding the impurity still in our hand (which is ineffective).

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Re: Can we revive this board? 28 Sep 2010 17:03 #79252

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world wrote on 22 Sep 2010 02:00:

Any volunteers to try and revive this board?

I would like to go through the handbook together with a group.

This looks like a group I would like to join as I find reading the entire handbook is overwhelming. Could you provide links to the handbook for us really lazy people?
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Re: Can we revive this board? 28 Sep 2010 17:20 #79254

welcome. glad to have you!!! i feel the same way. its overwelming to go through the entire hanbooks.

www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/GuardYourEyes%20Handbook.pdf

www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/GuardYourEyes%20Attitude.pdf

we are starting with the second link.  the attitude handbook. when you go to the normal GYE website (the new one) the handbooks can be found in the TOOLS section. along with a lot of other great stuff! this thread is on the first step. "what we are up against"
when we are ready to move on i think we will make new thread.
do you have anything to say about the 1st step? comments q's ect?
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Re: Can we revive this board? 28 Sep 2010 17:42 #79255

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(The Sefer haChinuch – Mitzva 387 compares lust to alcohol addiction).


hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=37518&st=&pgnum=48
Here is the source
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Re: Can we revive this board? 28 Sep 2010 17:55 #79256

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It does seem like i would have the same question though.

I also have the same question. It says we are always stuck with it, yet we have to stop lusting. How??
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Re: Can we revive this board? 28 Sep 2010 18:07 #79257

i think that the answer:
the GOAL is total control of lusting.
now, how does one accomplish that? by controlling himself. by controlling the symptoms by controlling acting out.
btw what is lust? lust is the intense desire for s**.  so i think what the step is saying, is that its not enough to have the desire but have control of our actions, but when the desire come up, to run away from the desire. and with time, staying away from the lust will come easier.
to sum up, i think that the way to get to the goal is to control the actions and with time you will be able to control the lust also
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