Hi poeple,

I am Bli Neder on my 6th day! I am using a new tactic to take it one day at a time. I was looking too far ahead and falling because of that. I have been davening to Hashem that he should help me TODAY and havent even thought about tommorrow yet.

Here we I'm going to give it try. I'll go through the 30 principals briefly maybe do 1-3 per post because they are relatively short. If I feel that I cant do it anymore i'll lket you guys know. I might now be able to do it everyday or even every other sometimes. Also, feel free to post comments with criticsm and additions. I'm always looking to grow.

Principal #1
It is almost as important to understand who your enemy is as it is to underastand what his weaponry is. Our addiction to lust, assuming we can admit that, is the weaponry that the Yetzer Hara uses against us. Underastand that the addiction that we have is not only a psychological problem, but its a medical problem as well. Therefore, if someone C'V has cancer or other diseases, their will and inner strength are what get them to recovery also, but without medicine they wil not recover no matter how strong they are. It would go against every law of natural science for that person to recover without medicine and we too need "medicine" to recover from our "disease". And the more we feed ou disease, the deeper it engraves itself in us, making it harder to remove. Just like if a person with a heart problem continues to eat greasy food, the walls of his arteries continue to erode.

Principal #2
If we cant accpet that we need help, then what are we doing here? This website is not the only help we need, but it creates the idea in us that we cant do it ourselves. marriage and new relationships will not heal this problem or even lessen it, on the contrary it can stimulate it to become even more than it was before.

Principal #3
This is not in the handbook, but I feel this is true and has to do with this principal: Hashem would not put us into a situation in which we cannot succeed in some way unless we dont have free will. We obviously have free will even though this is an addiction and addiction sort of takes that away. We can succeed witht he right attitude and help. And do not use our falls as an excuse to say we cant do it because even if C'V we do fall, we have to pick oursleves up and start over. Understanding that we can be helped, is like knowing Halachos. If you dont know Halachos and you are Over on lets say Hilchos Shabbos then you are Patur because you just didnt know, but once you know that there might be something wrong with what your doing and decline to learn the Halacha then youre Chayav. Also here with lust, once you know that you can be helped and you can recover, don't use the excuse that you cant be helped because you already knoqw that it is possible. If you do get the feling that you cant be helped, thats probably the Yetzer Hara telling you that.

Mazal Tov on starting your journal here!!

I didn't get a chance to read everything you wrote yet (I will bl"n), but I just wanted to mention that you shouldn't forget about the GYE handbook as well! That is also a vital resource for this struggle, and we want to read your thoughts on that too, as you go through each tool, slowly but surely, day by day...

Keep up the great work!

Guard,

I thoguht it would be better to go through the attitude book first so i can build a foundation for the tools. Once I know how i should feel, implementing the various tools should come much easier. What do you think, should I do the tools or the attitude book first?

That's a good point. After all, the first tool is "Attitude". However, I think you should be working meanwhile at least on tools 1,2 and 3 in parallel to the attitude handbook. They are so basic in this struggle that they need to be worked on at all times...

But take it slow, don't overwhelm yourself. Read a little bit each day, and try to internalize it. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to share.

If you DON'T have any questions or comments, you don't HAVE TO make a list of what you learned that day, it's up to you. But if you feel it helps, PLEASE DO! We would all be happy to read what you write and be inspired too!

INH

I'm happy you took the plunge and joined MOMO. I really should do the same and your thread is a real push for me. I have to focus on the step-by-step and look forward to reading about your progress. B'hatzlachah!

INH, I'm very glad you joined me and started your own journal of your journey through the GYE handbooks.

My advice for you is to take it slowly, read each word carefully as you would a Rashi, and then internalize each point. Let the ideas settle, and write any chidushim you get, or questions you think of. I found that doing this, helped internalize the points GYE makes much much better than simply reading quickly through the handbooks.

Good luck! I'll be (blee neder) following your posts!

Thank you Guard, hoping, and Momo for your support and advice it means alot to me that I'm not only effecting myself by doing this, but other people as well. I hope to continue this with three more today. And Bli ayin Hara I am on my 7th day which is my longest streak in a while! Baruch Hashem.

-INH

Ok guys here are day 2's daily attitude principals. B'H Bli Ayin Hara today with Hashem's help is the 7th day!

Principal #4
It is extremely important to understand that although we havent hit the lowest lace in Gehinom YET, we must realize what we are dealing withb at an early stage. You don't need to fall further in order to understand what problems we have. Think of it as if you are at the bottom and want help now. Don't let this problem spiral downwards. Keeping the Mashul to a common disease. At the first sign of any trouble in a person's body, he/she will going to take care of it now. They won't wait till C'V a person would have to amputate a limb then take care of it. Here too with our disease and addiction, we must take care of it before it takes care of us.

Prinicipal #5
This principal's name really speaks for itself. We are not alone. And even if there were C'V thousands of people on this website, there would still be more. The support that is given on this website is second to none. And just realizing and understanding that other people just like you are going through the samething, is Chizuk in itself. But thats not all that this website offers. The personal stories, Chizuk emails, and posts on the forum all play a vital role in uderstanding the magnitude of our issues and will help us deal with it on a more serious level.

Ineedhelp, I just LOVE your summaries! I would love to share them with everyone at some point (maybe in a Chizuk e-mail or something...)

Keep it up, I'm sure many people are bing inspired by you!

Beautiful.  Glad to see you are internalizing Guard's yesodos.

INH, you're doing great. Please keep it up!

Hey everyone,

I know there arent many people following my thread but it feels good anyway to write out my feelings on thses attitude principals. I suggest it to anyone thats thinking about it. B'H I completed my 7th day and ui think i get to move up t a different level or somehing on the chart list. I'm on day 8 right now, but the past couple of days have been tough with my Shmiras Einayim. Thats something I really got to work on I think if I want to completely heal. So here are today's attitude principals.

Principal #6
The concept of Bechirah Chofshis, free will, is a topic that is usually agreed upon throughout Judaism. We contrlo our actions. Therefore, we are responsible for every action we take. I would agree with that, but lessen it to say that sometimes we really dont control our actions. SOmetimes the Yetzer Hara controls us and although we might have the power to stop the Yetzer Hara, the natural tendency of our mind is to do what he wants us to do. It takes quite a strong person to fight the yezter Hara (hence from the Mishna in Avos), but we cant look back on these falls in the past and mourn our downfalls. We must learn from the past experiences in order to prevent further damage in the future. Hashem put us where we are today and we can control where we go. Sometimes I think about C'V a terrorist. How could someone go into a Yeshiva and start shooting at innocent Talmidim who are Osek in Toarh and Mitzvos. I come to the comclusion that these terrorists do not have free will. They act in the way Hashem wants them to act. And you are going to ask why would Hashem want to take the lives of innocent talmidim who are doing exactly what he wants? I cant answer that directly, but hashem has a plan and trying to understand it might bring you further away from him. Then you might ask why did hashem do it through a terrorist, Hahsme could have made it a natural death? The best answer I can give (excluding the one given to the previous question) is that just look at the response of the Jewish people to tragedy. We have a grat history of responding to these sort of things in a positive way. I know it looks like I just went completely off topic, but the same can apply to our situations. Hashem brought us into our situations by allowing the "terrorist" to enter our minds and bodies we truly could not control that. But let us not look at how it got into our minds, let's look to see how we react and will react to similar situations. There is an amazing shiur by Rabbi Yisroel Reisman which I highly recommend to everyone. Whether you struggle with this or not. The link to it is in the Attitude Handbook.

Principal #7
Determination is a key to our Be'ezras Hashem eventual recovery. You have to want it and make yourself believe you want it. The addiction does not alter our determination. Yes, it is a disease and if you act out its not completely free will, but that should not effect your Ratzon. Build up your ratzon to get rid of this addiction and soon determination will take over the addiction. If you really dont want it then there are other thinggs that need to be worked on first, but if you really truly want to rid your body and mind of this disease then eventually all the pieces will fall into place. But dont trick yourself into thinking you really want it when you really dont becaus ethen the Yetzer Hara will catch you off guard.

Just remember to watch where your eyes go and dont go where your eyes watch.
"Ve'lo Sasuru Acharei Levavchem Ve'acharei Aneicem Asher Atem Zonim Achareichem."

Evryone have a great day!

Excellent ideas. I'm still following your thread. 

Inh, I think that these handbooks are one of the greatest things that happened to Klal Yisroel in a long time. And going through it like this, is the best thing you could do for yourself. You're doing a great job. KUTGW!

Dear hoping, we're ready and waiting!