I've been reading in the handbook, and I have a question about neder - does anyone have any experience? Does it work? I am considering making a neder that I will fast for a full day if I fall before I reach 90 days, the fast will be the direct day right after the fall as far as possible (should the next day be shabbat, I will do it on Sunday. Should it be (chas vechalila) right before yom kippur or tsom gedaliah then it will be two days after - giving me one day of eating inbetween). It is limited to the current 90 days challenge Im taking.

Will it help, or am I just "holding my breath"?

I think my wife would object, since I become very vulnerable to mood swings when Im fasting, but maybe dafka that - that my fasting would be a bad thing for the family - would help me keep sober.

Any thoughts? (And yes, I know I spell my Hebrew like the Israeli I am - I don't have all the yeshive-Hebrew that you guys have )

A few points about Taphsic (that's what your referring to, right?)

1. I have never actually done one, so you can disregard the rest of what I say.

2. The handbook recommends keeping the term of the Taphsic short, at leat at first, and renew it when it expires. The example given is a week at a time for "beginners."

3. עיין שם in Masechtos Nedarim and Shevuos. A "Neder" is an issur cheftza, like "this loaf of bread will be assur to me like a korban if I......" Whereas a Shevua is an issur Gavra that you create on yourself, as in "I take a shevua that I will...."
The taphsic (as presented in the handbook) is a shevua, not a neder.

4. The way that is recommended to form the shevua is to not directly punish the acting out, but to provide yourself with an incentive to distract yourself. For example, "If I act out, but I: went for a jog first/learned first/said tehillim first/whatever other distraction you can come up with for a set amount of time, then I will have to do a small k'nas. But if I act out without using any of my distractions first, then I will have to do the big k'nas."

5. As far as whether it works, like I said, I never tried it. Those who have say (I think) that it is only a tool but it is not THE Solution.

Hope that helps.

Quick update:

Thanks. Yes, it's a shevua, not a neder. What was I thinking? ^^

I will try to do this as a thought-trick without an actual shevua in the beginning. I will first read from the handbook and/or testimonies on GYE. If I still fall I will fast. I have tried it for the past week (bli shevua), and so far I havent fallen at all. If this tool works for me this way, I will keep it like this. Should I fall, and things get worse, then I might need to make an actual shevua. So far, it's working - or rather, it's working together with all the other tools (posting chizuks, updating 90-day challenge, looking away from women on street, etc, etc)