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How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation?
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation? 1415 Views

How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation? 28 Jul 2009 08:01 #9917

  • Tomim2B
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Last Edit: 08 Jan 2010 11:08 by .

Re: How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation? 28 Jul 2009 13:08 #9943

  • the.guard
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Dear Holy Yid. Do you get the daily Chizuk e-mails? See "Momo's notes" on David Chaim's 12-Step group in today's Chizuk e-mail (#541). I highly suggest you join this group and learn the secrets of the 12-Steps. "Self-Control", vows, and even filters, are anyway not enough in the face of an addiction. Instead, we learn the proper attitudes and how to deal with addiction in the real world.

If you are not a real addict though, I suggest you DO try to make a neder to use only filtered internet when alone, and never to browse open internet without people in the room. This is Yichud. Rav Wosner Paskens that this is clearly an issur of Yichud. Would you say that my job requires me to be mechalel Shabbos?

And if Nedarim work for you, you can try the strategies in the handbooks. For example, to make a neder that if you browse an innapropriate site intentionally (say, for one month, at first), you will need to take a 30 minute walk within the next 2 hours... Whatever. There are many ideas like this in the handbooks. I highly suggest you go through them well. (See the links on the homepage of the site).

May Hashem reward your desire to stay clean in today's crazy world. You are from Hashem's front line soldiers!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by UnJovenConfundido.

Re: How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation? 28 Jul 2009 19:02 #9978

  • Tomim2B
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Last Edit: 08 Jan 2010 11:11 by .

Re: How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation? 28 Jul 2009 20:41 #9989

  • Tomim2B
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Last Edit: 08 Jan 2010 11:14 by .

Re: How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation? 28 Jul 2009 21:30 #9998

  • Tomim2B
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Last Edit: 08 Jan 2010 11:16 by .

Re: How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation? 28 Jul 2009 21:43 #10001

  • the.guard
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WOW, a powerful warrior has just joined us Chevra!!

Tamim, You have in you what it takes. I can see that. But "brute force" is not enough for the long-term to deal with an addiction. I highly suggest you sign up for the chizuk e-mails. They do NOT at all take a "unhealthy guilt" approach, as you seem to think. Instead, they bring choice quotes of Chizuk from this very forum (which I edit) and may anecdotes, parables, sayings, Torah thoughts, testimonials, stories, etc... Every day is a comb of a bunch of inspiring tips and thoughts. This keeps you in the loop and learning new things every day.

I also suggest that you promise yourself, that if you slip again c"v in the coming 90 days, that you'll "try out" David Chaim's 12-Step phone conference (see here: www.guardyoureyes.org/?page_id=678)

You can definitely join our 90 day program. Just sign up over here: www.guardyoureyes.org/woh/signup.php

Keep posting. You're a very inspiring person!

Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: 28 Jul 2009 22:11 by Moshico.

Re: How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation? 28 Jul 2009 23:06 #10009

  • Tomim2B
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Last Edit: 08 Jan 2010 11:18 by .

Re: How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation? 29 Jul 2009 12:48 #10096

  • Tomim2B
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Last Edit: 08 Jan 2010 11:41 by .

Re: How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation? 29 Jul 2009 12:51 #10097

  • kutan
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wow, Tamim, all I can say is welcome.
We look forward to your posts.
when you say: When writing, provided that you have a high level of privacy ,you can say anything you want - it's extremely therapeutic putting your most personal thoughts out on paper I can completely relate to that.
Guard just send an email with  something that kutan wrote, and I was so inspired....
By the content, not the credit! I could not believe in retrospect that I wrote it.

But I really identified with it! Its just that I could never have said it in 'real' life.

kutan
Rashi, Breishis (10:25)
Last Edit: by Yosi needs help .

Re: How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation? 29 Jul 2009 12:55 #10100

  • Tomim2B
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Last Edit: 08 Jan 2010 11:45 by .

Re: How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation? 29 Jul 2009 21:17 #10136

  • Tomim2B
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Last Edit: 08 Jan 2010 11:47 by .

Re: How Would You Filter Your Internet in This Situation? 29 Jul 2009 21:23 #10137

  • kutan
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Tomim,
The emails are great! that's what got me into the forum.
BTW, Keep churning out those insightful posts, and you will be seeing your material there pretty soon!
best
kutan
Rashi, Breishis (10:25)
Last Edit: by Esb.
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