Hi all,

I was just thinking that there is a step that may help people that are battling to stay clean.
Every time we fall, our body gets a big reward, so why not reward the positive steps?
Our body (and nefesh habahamis) enjoys falling because of the reward. Then we take away that reward and expect it not to rebel on us.

We all have different things we enjoy - for some it's chocolate*, for others woodford, most men really like a pat on the back, a bit of an ego stroke.
*I have heard that chocolate causes the release of some of the same chemicals in the brain as s.. so it’s a good candidate.

So why not treat yourself? Celebrate a victory, actually enjoy staying clean.
If you see someone say they’re now one day clean, applaud, “wow, you did well, that’s a big step”.

hi toadd -

if i understand the addictive mind -

its actually the "rewards" which get us into trouble in the first place.
whether we are "just looking" or actually in the midst of relations - the brain releases the same chemical, dopamine.

Dopamine is the reward drug -
it says: HEY, I LIKE THIS, AND I WANT MORE OF THE SAME!

dopamine - creates a craving for more dopamine.
and the brain cannot tell the difference between the real thing and the fake thing.

so when we "enjoy" our fantasies, or act out...we become addicted to this artificial stimulation - and want more of it!

so what to do..

1. Y * E * L * L  at the PAIN - rather than run to your drug of choice.
In a sense - begin to short circuit the pain- comfort-pain cycle
and release Punishment drugs in the brain (imagine touching a hot stove)

2. like you said, REWARD yourself for Good behavior (start with 3 second goals - which you CAN achieve)

yasher koach!

DOV.II