hey .... long time no speak....

things have been up and down lately...

i've found myself looking at you know what on google buzz alot recently. i just don't know how to stay away from buzz.

tried k9ing it and didn't work and disabling it is clearly not a good enough situation. switching e-mail providers is a pain, but pretty soon i guess i'll have to make it a reality. any other thoughts you can think of?

i've just been falling alot lately.... it's been making me feel like garbage..

never before though have I seen the direct damage my falls are having on my personality. it is turning me against myself. and the way i see it, it is making me even have questions in emunah.... hopefully that is all getting fixed soon but i jsut gotta break this habbit. its come so far and i feel like i've lost a good amount of drive to move forward. this is primarily because i realized making myself feel bad wasn't helping hte situation so i stopped doing that. finding good motivation to work towards is difficult though. i've just become accustomed to this way of living (even though i know a better one might exist) difficult to trust the unknown i suppose....

Because I have not been feeling great satisfaction in my avodas ה' lately, I have found myself seeking lesser pleasures. Rather than attempting to solve the problem at its source and strive toward that greatest satisfaction that I know and love deeply, I have been taking small doses of ‘painkillers’ to numb the distant and unloved feeling I am experiencing. In doing so, I have been stepping away from g-d and making it more challenging to return to that greatest pleasure that I so seek. The solution that must be taken is figuring out how to re-awaken that drive toward that greatest pleasure within me. Whether that demand getting answers to the questions I have, devoting myself in body, mind, heart and soul to my Creator, (including obstaining from the forbidden and striving  toward the good) , involving myself with people  sharing that pursuit and working on my self-esteem so as to perceive myself as desirable to the Master of the Wolrd and becoming aware of his greatness through reflection/meditation in works, helping others ….ie devodtion to  תורה מצוות

Hey confidence

I know what you're going through. Soical networking was a nightmare for me.

Even for other people, CNet describes it: "Google's new social-networking tool Buzz is at its root an unwanted, unasked for pest."

You can see their article here on how to turn it off:
news.cnet.com/8301-17939_109-10451703-2.html

It is a bit of work, but will be well worth the effort.

Keep well.

You can delete your buzz account forever!!!!!!!

I did it and I am sooooooooooooooo happy. I think you go to "settings" and then select "buzz" and on the bottom of the page you have an option to delete.

Good luck