I have BH been clean for 13 days, and now the YH is getting really fed up and the negative stirrings begin.
I will share some ideas and thoughts with myself and you all to help in getting me to a better place.

I will start with a beautiful theme brought forth in Chassidus - that any time a Jew descends, it is only in order to rise up to an even higher level.  There is no other reason for descent.  Unfortunately, it sure doesn't feel that way and I can get side-tracked and distracted into thinking that I descend because I am bad and _______ fill in the blanks!  Surely, Ihave done something bad and I must correct it.  But I should never allow this action to define who I really am.  Hashem doesn't. 

So, I am "down here" in the "deep pit", certainly the entire purpose is for me to find a deeper place within myself to connect with Hashem and live according to His will.  This forum is a great example of this - the comraderie, Ahavas Yisruel, and great caring and deep thought and discussion about how we can better serve Hashem. 

I would like to offer (to myself and any others who wish to partake)  a great device for rising higher.  It is often times undervalued in fighting the great fight.  This device is SIMCHAH, aka happiness.  I can frequently get down on myself, then get down on myself and for getting down on myself. You know the cycle.  Then I become numb to feeling any emotion or growth.  So, Simchah, being Happy that He continues to give me life and opportunity.  Happy that He desires my small service.  And happy that I am a Jew.

L'chayim!

BA

              Sometimes one must take a step back to take two steps forward, but never does one have to take a step down on a ladder to take two steps up.  Each step up on the ladder is harder than the previous one but each one sets you on a level that gives you a whole new perspective.  If we weren't addicts than we might gain from taking a step back,  but since we are, we are on a ladder to get out of this pit.  If one climbs up a ladder to get out of a pit his eyes will rise above the surface long before he himself is removed from the pit.  At the same time, he will be able to see the beautiful landscape around him long before he is out of the pit.  Realize this, once you see where you will be once you leave the pit, you will see what all your efforts and hard work that you put in to climb the ladder will amount to.  You may not be out yet, but just look around and see the beauty of the lives of those that made the same trek before you (some of the moderators on the site are these very people).

I do not mean that anyone should, CV, take a step down.  My point is that being down is only a temporarty state, and we have gone down to this level (of addiction) to reach a greater maturity and depth to be able to rise even higher.

BA

hi -

JOY is a very powerful technique... even just thinking about the word JOY every day..
25x a time!!!

dov.ii