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Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

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new guy
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: new guy 1304 Views

new guy 25 Jul 2009 19:24 #9672

  • test3
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Karma: 0
hi everyone i found this site a few weeks ago and i must say i'm impressed with the sincerity and chizuk. i've been struggling with this for 10 years, i'm married with kids and work on the computer. when my wife caught me a year ago i promised to change my ways and even went to therapy. i made progress and installed filters and i've been clean for a while but it's so hard. i was afraid to post here, but lately i've been feeling weak and vulnerable so i decided to make the jump. i've read some of the handbooks and hope to read more. i understand this is an addiction and all, i wish it wouldn't be so hard. once i start to slip, the insanity sets in and the worst is that you feel it's over, you sinned, what the heck. and as you slip it gets harder and harder to stop the slide, it becomes more and more overpowering. i am trying to let go and let g-d, davneing to hashem - but i feel powerless against this disease sometimes. i have a wonderful wife and kids, and i have so much to lose if i fall again, and i have so much to gain if i stay clean but the maddest thing about this disease is that when the insanity sets in, you feel like without giving in you have nothing in life. all you have in life feels worthless, all you want is to give in and lose yourself in the drug. are there any long-term solutions to this crazy illness? is there anything a person can do once they start to slide and feel so desperate that they know they are jumping into fire and want to do it anyway?
Last Edit: 25 Jul 2009 19:37 by peloni almoni.

Re: new guy 25 Jul 2009 19:36 #9673

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 487 days
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 6364
  • Karma: 118
Hey GYEJew, welcome to the "Club of Losers (against lust) who post about their WINNINGS".

Yes, most of us here are ill, we cannot win against lust. The best long term strategy is not to fight the lust head on, as I'm sure you saw in the handbooks. Once the insanity sets in, it is often too late. I don't know if there is any real long term solution to this illness, but it seems that the 12-Step program holds a lot of promise for "losers against lust" like us. People who join these groups often get a list of sponsors and partners that they can call when they feel like they have started to slip. And the 12-Steps give us the tools to deal properly with this disease. I suggest you join Chaim Duvid's free, 12-Step phone conference. Also, are you signed up to the daily chizuk e-mails? This is very important.

I am sure many of the other great warriors will have lots of good Chizuk to offer you. Keep posting here. You have come home!
Webmaster of - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: 25 Jul 2009 19:38 by peloni almoni.

Re: new guy 25 Jul 2009 19:50 #9675

  • Uri
  • Current streak: 2 days
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 448
  • Karma: 5
Welcome Rabbeinu GYE yid,
you should know that you are far from being alone in describing those symptoms of addiction.many people have sunk into this addiction and other addictions and it always feels overwhelming.thank Hashem many great methods have been found to break the addictions,and you will be among the many to escape iy'h.Read through the vast material on this site and you will find what works for you best.we must understand the insanity,where it comes from,the koach that pushes it,and so a short time,i know youll be back on your feet,with G-d's help.all the best.keep posting
Last Edit: by john smith.

Re: new guy 25 Jul 2009 20:21 #9678

  • test3
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Karma: 0
Thanks Uri - I've been reading your thread and you are very inspiring to me! you're really trying hard, I'm sure Hashem has a lot of nachas from yuo. i'll hold your hand and you'll hold mine and guard's everyone else here. we'll do this together. the pasuk says 'vayichan yisrael neged hahar' - the noam elimelech says that when yidden get together be-achdus, they can succeed 'neged hahar' - against the yetzer hara!
Last Edit: by leiby435.

Re: new guy 26 Jul 2009 03:03 #9696

  • Noorah BAmram
  • Current streak: 1487 days
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 522
  • Karma: 8
Shalom aliechem my yedid nefesh who goes by the Holy name GYE Jew,
U took a tremendous step in the path of long term sobriety to begin posting here. I'm sure it took courage I know that for me it did despite the fact that its done anonymously!

All I have to offer is my "heart" it is with your pain that is SHOUTING out between the lines!! Some of us who have been where u are can read between the line very well!!

We share what worked for us:

Here it goes 1-10
1. Get the strongest No nonsense filter!!
2. Get the strongest No nonsense filter!
3.Get the strongest No nonsense filter!
4. Get the strongest No nonsense filter!
5.Get the strongest No nonsense filter!
6.-10. Keep posting on GYE (stick with us buddy and u will go places )

Here is a thought that just popped into my head

If I knew u personally (as opposed to here on GYE where you are my Yedid Nefesh ) and u confided with me regarding your struggle, I promise you that you would go up in my eyes a thousand fold!!! So don't get down we all here agree in our sober and lucid moments (yes they will come every once in a while )
That we are bigger and better because of the struggle! That we are growing from our battle!!

I think I speak for a lot of the holy chevra on the forum.

With the strongest virtual hug possible and with fiery LOVE!!
with the greatest respect for your courage

Noorah the smallest of the house of Amram

PS a lot of chizuk goes on behind the "scenes" with pm. Use it!!!
[b]כי שבע יפול צדיק וקם[/b] 
A Tzadik is he who continues to  bounce back after he hits bottom, even a hundred times !!!!!Rav Don Segal Shlita
Last Edit: by .

Re: new guy 29 Jul 2009 03:44 #10028

  • kutan
  • Current streak: 48 days
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1043
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GYEJew, thanks for joining!
Its a funny thing here. People who need chizuk are inspired by ahavas yisroel to be mechazek others, and it becomes reflexive... they get chizuk from it... It all ends up that we each don't know how to swim, but together we seem to be able to do laps without stop.
Doesn't make sense?
In the corporate world they have discovered (i.e. those people who get paid the big bucks to create the right corporate culture so that the corp. can make even more profit) that 1+1 = 3 ... really!

And you'll discover it right here too.

So, thanks for joining and lending the extra hand.


berdichev, a jolly welcome, please...
Rashi, Breishis (10:25)
Last Edit: by Trafficraker.

Re: new guy 29 Jul 2009 04:01 #10031

  • bardichev
gye jew heiliger tzaddik
I am the on the welcoming commitee here
I was away from my desk as of late for personal reasons
you came to the right place!!
post away
stay long term it works
read bardichevs battle its funny and serious
read eeveryone its gevalldigggg
Last Edit: by .

Re: new guy 29 Jul 2009 11:03 #10083

  • me
We share what worked for us:

Here it goes 1-10
1. Get the strongest No nonsense filter!!
2. Get the strongest No nonsense filter!
3.Get the strongest No nonsense filter!
4. Get the strongest No nonsense filter!
5.Get the strongest No nonsense filter!
6.-10. Keep posting on GYE (stick with us buddy and u will go places 

11. Don't get such a strongest No nonsense filter that filters out the GYE forum!
Last Edit: by .
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