I've recently read in a couple of places about things that are linked to lust.
For example, in one thread it said that guarding one's tongue helps one guard one's eyes
In The ways of the tzadikim, the Ramchal says that envy is a form of anger and that lust is from envy

So, I would like to open a discussion on the relationship between traits.
Do other people that battle with lust also have anger, envy or gossip issues?
What about health issues e.g. fatigue - do our issues manifest in our body or specific organs?

To add, moree virabee binigleh ovinistar,
I myself invested months of intensive studies in these areas. using over 50 sefarim on the subjects, i have found r' nachman of breslov's sefer hammidos and likutei eitzos as the two clearest books that point out the chemistry of torah-ie.if you do a it causes b,if c, then it helps for fighting a, etc.
The orchos tzaddikim brings under gaavah, also r kanievsky's orchos yosher, also sharei kdusha of r chaim vital, that a person who espouses gaavah, it is as if he has violated every one the types of arayos existent, eyin sham. The relationshil is that a baal gaavah makes himself the center of creation, making everything go to make him feel comfortable and good. he has no boundries. ev. is his in his eyes. He takes it all for hmslf-therefore, hes the prime suspect of looking at other people's wives, and viewing everything as a way of pleasuring hmslf.
truth is, in the 2books i mentioned, in the section of bris, they both bring over 150 things that cause one to violate or be shomer bris. using a sefer called eitzos mivuaros, he elucidates it, cutting out the kabbala into a practical sense readily understandible. thats a book on likutei eitzos. on sefer hammidos, theres a new book called tiferess hamidos too.

all said and done, amidst chassidus, kabbala, litvish lit., the orchos tzaddikim is chock full of diyukim to help u, hes a classic, and a rishon. check it out!
tz90

ToAdd wrote on 03 Feb 2011 11:58:

How about procrastination is that caused be bieng a SA?

It would seem to me that someone who always does what he needs to be doing right now, will not be procrastinating. He won't be spending time in lust issues either.....

Thanks tzaddik90
It's the ultimate selfish act - the one thing that makes us most like H" - the ability to create life and deepen the relationship with our soul mate and we turn it around for selfish pleasure.

One big thing that I learnt from orchos tzaddikim is that even when traits seem entirely negative, there's always a positive use for them
E.g. procrastination can be used to delay doing wrong (e.g. lusting)
Being a man, I can identify with lust being the drive to find a wife - but I have a wife now...



Looking up a definition for procrastination, I found the following:
"To properly define procrastination, one must understand the causes of the problem: fear of the unknown, fear of a negative outcome, perfectionism, and even rebellion are among the most common."
"Most people procrastinate because it offers them comfort and relief from having to undergo an unpleasant task. " (www.stopprocrastinating.net)
For me, that strikes a chord. You can almost replace the word procrastination with mast* and it still rings true.
Overcoming procrastination will probably help in controlling the addiction - when one has an unpleasant task to do, procrastinating frees one up to do other things...

the arizal, tanya, r' nachman, and gra all say "atlus bah mipnei atzvus"-procrast. is because he is sad-ergo, he lacjs the motivation to move, or smile, or give to another. BUT the root is depression.
This should be a big key for this question.
anytime, tz90

I was mekabel from my sponsor that procrastination is just avoidance-behavior.

And as far as sitting around and philosophizing about that my problems are, I want to just say that although I sincerely believe that it may work well for you (really)...I did that for decades and got nowhere - except into more porn, more fantasy, more frustration, more 'holiness', more masturbation, and more trouble. There is plenty room inside my head for messing around with lust, pride, fear and resentment between the all-too-familiar raging episodes of sincere teshuvah.

And life just rolls on by us. Time simply does not care.

While in no way do I believe this is the rule, I have to share that the only thing that finally helped me was getting rid of masks (like fake names, usernames, false identities, all the comforting lies I tell myself and others, my 'frum'/'nice guy' image, etc.) and revealing myself totally to other sick people who were getting well, and working these steps with a sober sponsor.

I do not know where anyone here is holding and am popping right into the middle of a conversation - and do not intend to discourage or look down at anyone c"v in any way from what's actually working for them!! But...I want to share what works for me, that's all.

Thanks,

Dov

Dov!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I read over fifty sefarim and kabbala before i got here!!!!!!!!!! right on-the sefarim never helped me in the philisophical sence-i did whowweeee bad stuff even w/ it all in my head-
i'd explain it's because the stuff here at gye are not even on the level of what the heilege sfarim are discussing-rather, our wisdom here, culled from the goyim, its the very essence of wisdom, the very deepest and simplest wisdoms in their rawest and most applicable forms-this is, i feel, why in the gye hand book they desribe what we do here as getting out of the eighteen wheeler and getting back onto the tricycle.
it's like i was thinking as i trudged up to my 5th floor apt. recently-boy do my knees hurt-if i'd only take the time to ask a physical therapist how to properly walk up stairs, i'd feel better.
Dov's haarah here is enormous for people whove gone down the philosophy path-and being a guy who studied kisvei ari, leshem, and lore, i am practically hugging and squeezing his haarah!
if s/o doesnt fully appreciate his point, id say its worth your while to pm him about it

thanks tz dov and everyone for all there gevaldigeh haaras . but in the state Im currently in I don't think Im upto the point where I need to take my mask off (I sencerily hope that I won't come to regret it later) Ive been around here for a while thing r currently better then they were before. But I for sure allso have this terrible procrastination habit and somehow I think it is relatted

tzaddik90 wrote on 08 Feb 2011 16:28:


Wow! I don't know if I ever even SAW so many seforim of this type!

I will argue that, for me, after learning seforim about deeper/mystical stuff - even without understanding - I felt 'holier'. It helped me stay clean [- at least in the short term.]

I am not arguing that it is not enough to rely on this. All I am saying is that it worked for me - to an extent.




..... and besides, do we ONLY do things that will bring us to the ultimate Recovery? As long as this is not a contradiction to Recovery why should we not delve into these ideas? Any Torah is always good. Especially if it is in an area where we have common ground!

You are all invited to add to this thread. Those who think that this thread is, for them, a waste of time, are welcome to stay away. Is there a need to come here & discourage others from pursuing this issue? (Even with the standard disclaimer that "I am only saying what works for me.)

Agreed. H" created the world so that he can give pleasure
Therefore depression is the exact opposite of what he wants from us

So,
Keep On Trucking

I've decided that today I'm going to do something that makes me happy
Or even better, something that makes someone else happy.

ToAdd wrote on 09 Feb 2011 06:10:

wise people have said that the best way to be happy is to do something for someone else

Who wants to be very happy today? 
Who wants to do something for me?  ;D

me

Me too!