how about yiddish morse code?
yuh yuh nein    nein yuh nein    nein nein nein    yuh nein nein

גרויס זאכן וואָס פליען אין דעם הימל און געבן אונדז צו פאַלן אייַזקרעם אויף די מענטשן אונטן.

ice cream bombs?
i wonder what 10 kilotons of Haagen-Daz would've done to Berlin

oy such laytzanus.
THIS POST IS VERY SERIOUS SO BE CAREFUL. IM SORRY. NOW IM IN A LIGHTER MOOD BUT IM GONNA COPY AND PASTE. IM ALSO STARTING AGAIN TO LOOK AT THE GROUND WHEN I GO OUT.....
___________
If you have time, please read this post and see if u can help me out. Iv'e been waiting to post since thur.
Each type i type this on the egged bus, it gets shorter. Now, i type it in the stairwell of a building in Sanhedria......
chassidim come back from ma'ariv, ppl. are listening to R' tzvi meir as we speak, while R' itche meyer prepares for mincha and the Amshinover does shacharis....
Briefly:
One, i must admit before my friends at GYE that i have a bad habbit with alchohol. It needs attention, not serious but unnecessary.
Two, iv'e recently gotten in the bad habbit of not gaurding my eyes, lashon sagee nahor.
Iv'e got the "viyadata hayom", i just need the "vihasheevosa el livavecha" part. I think i need a little boost from a friend here on GYE. Anyone got something for me? It's out of habbit.  Same as the alchohol. I'm not dying from triggers, but it's no good (aside that it's asur and makes me a rasha bi'osah sha'ah, pasul for eidus acc. the ktzos and just a loser). Attitudes fine. You know in the movies the soldiers get that little push out of the airplane when they need to parachute? I need one of those.
What compounds this subject is that iv'e been working on relaxing more. I have largely gotten to all of my issues in life because of stress and now iv'e taken the right step of relaxing more often and in general. Instead of learning Leshem on the bus and being flaming oseeyos before me for sheevisi (i'm not kidding), i'm trying to learn, serve God AND kick it back and replace the intensity with simcha. A few weeks ago, my regression was too much relaxing and not enough God. Now, God is coming back in powerful force. It takes a long time to learn how to think, or re-learn. It's all about this balance.
So those are my experiences in general and struggles in particular. Both are bad habbits. MAH YEISH LECHA LIHAGEED?
um....as i come back now from where i was, the eyes wander more......
i dont want this "just a bad habbit" to get worse, and i think it is....the transit line is killing me here.... .  oy... .
i had a victory, i cant forget. i didnt look at s/thing that i wanted to. we must count the victoriesand re-start from there.

Do you wear glasses? If you do, taking them off while walking in the street can be great.

Otherwise, it's something that takes work - but remind yourself that it's freedom to NOT have to look at all the things you don't need to.

If I understand correctly, this system is based on realizing that this isn't just a bad habit. Its a sickness, or at best a strong tendency towards lust (or alcohol).
I think you should address it as such and not make it sound like it isnt so difficult to control. We are in an all out war! Fight like your life depends on it! Don't let the other side dupe you into thinking that it isnt so serious. חזק ואמץ

Gesher, thank u (and of course R' SB too). You are right in your observation. I meant just meant that there is a concept that in addictions, there are various levels of addiction, and mine to booze is not alarming, but ur right at the same time. It can develop into s/thing alarming, and that's why we need to adress it now. Hitting bottom while still on top, they say around these parts.
And where is that bridge in your avatar?

OK OK I'll get to it! I was just lazy and i thought that a lighthouse gave a nice message anyway. You really make me laugh! thanks ;D

I'm doing okay. Slight victory in shmiras einayim. My body is racked with pain from stressful memories that i brought up today w/ s/one. My mind is good and that's the ikkar.
I gleaned more self awareness today in the parsha of self-esteem. This is a big issue in my gye struggles, since my emotional issues are what pulverizes my mind to mush and make me want to self medicate myself.


I sat on the bus, and this old, toothless dude invites me to sit next to him in the old
person seats in the front. This guy wore a ski hat, had one visible yellow tooth, and was probably 80. Real friendly. He even spoke english, ev. though i speak ivrit, and we shmoozed. I thought he was just a simple old guy who's one of those lost souls, with no family or friends. Judging him by his lack of teeth, i thought he was just some stam mentch.

As he continues his toothless story, he explains how he was actually wounded while defending the yiddin in some location during the six day war. Oh...and his brother was killed in action while fighting to defend Yerushalayim in 1947.
This man suddenly became to me a respectable hero, a real gadol. What a zchus, to loose his teeth defending Ey and the yiddin. Unbelievable.

What transpired here? I thought he was just a chessed case, and in three minutes i'd wished i could talk to him all day and here all of his stories of the old yishuv?
The transition happened when i found out he had fought and gotten wounded in 67. and that he lost a brother in 47. What a noble cause. With that background in mind,
i got the following lesson:


I have gone through many battles in my life for Hshem and the jewish ppl, and by me fighting lust and all evil, i am setting the bar in the world to not be complacent with shmutz. I too got wounded, from stress, emotional issues, pain, and all else. So while i look up to the hero on the bus for fighting, i too have to feel that way about my battles. I cant speak for anyone but myself, but yes, ive fought real big bloody gruesome bleak (bitter butter) battles. I just got off the phone from my mom crying and telling me how my dad abuses her and her family, AND how my sister is suffering so much at home. I didn't break this time. i'm still hear.

Im also a brave and tough warrior, with bullet holes and shrapnel in s/times every part of my body. And i keep moving forward. So i am a hero to the world, and more importantly, to myself. I am a warrior who's defending the jewish ppl, and i also got wounded in battle.

Are you praying for your father?

Great point DOV! three points! i used to but i got used to living with the situation so i stopped. its part of my life now, and thats why im not breaking down when i get such a phone call. How the tortilla doing?

The tortilla is fine, presumably somewhere in Bulgaria by now.

Your ability to be of any assistance to the family is dependent upon your health and sanity. So KOT and do whatever it takes to remain so. Hatzlocha and never forget that you are not alone, as you will see more clearly, soon. There are real people who will come clean with you about their dirt, the more you share your own here.

Much love,

Dov (yandaleh yarriva!)

thank you Dov. Your post made me feel like my whole painful life has been validated for the wars of Hshem. I will share all of my dirt, and even the mud, if it can help get another GYE dirty free.

raimbow's thread
First of all, i'm doing good today, b'h. I saw three innapropriate images in the same place last night while getting an image for s/thing, and neither rimon nor k9 blocked it. This is bec. these jpegs were on a seemingly kosher sight. I slipped, and b'h bec. i was holding my pure 6 month old son, i said to myself "i want to be pure like he is", and so i ran away from there. ok, briskly walked away, i need improvement. These things did not immediately affect me too much, b'h, to do any acting out or further searches. I think it's bec. i was relaxed and had a structure in my day and a lot of healthy things in place. This story just reinforces the gye handbook rule that one shld not make unnecessary searches, and although it was necessary", once i saw fishy (pretty fish) jpegs on the earlier page i should have ran, like from fire-mesillas Y. ; Zehirus.
I had a light ha'arah about gye (aside from the heavy ha-arah related to being addicted to gye, maybe another day...)-when we struggle, we feel that we have a cause worthy of other gye's help and concern. But s/times, when things are going well, i personally have questioned why i am posting, or logging onto the forum. It gave me self doubts. I respond back to the subconcious today with three terutzim-
1)i log on to get out of isolation
2)to help grap little spoonfuls of self awareness
3)to help others
About helping others, I thought an interesting mashal. The day before USA declared war in WWII, none of the servicemen knew they were to be thrusted into action the next day. Yet,the next morning, they were of the highest importance as they jumped into the front lines and spearheaded the enemy. So too, the day you log on (with measure), you do not know if s/one will be bugging out and calling for help and that you are the one who's little ha'arah will help him move on.

nice ideas you have there!
and glad to hear you are doing good

now can i have my nostril back? only reason i ask is because on Friday night when you smell the 2 hadasim it is a hiddur to use both nostrils... like zachor veshamor