Hi Guys

I need some help and advice.

B'H i am holding at 25 days clean. By clean I mean that I am not being mz'l. My recent record is 129 days.

However, my problem is that I seem to be obsessed with thoughts of P and M at all times and only just manage to hold back from actual mz'l - often after a great struggle. I am not intentionally seeking out triggers but it seems that from when I wake up, and then throughout the day until I go to bed, I am constantly thinking about triggers and ways of acting out. It is a continuous fight not to let it get to the next stage.

I need some advice on how to control these thoughts and obsessions as they are the root causes which ultimately could lead me to a proper fall. They seem to be on my mind at all times and it is driving me crazy.

Do you have any ideas to lessen the obsession.

Thanks

Giboir

Hey Giboir,

I find that when I'm tired and feeling lustful, one thing that really helps take my mind away from the department downstairs is listening to some good music, talking to a friend or reading some of the Chizuk e-mails.

If I'm feeling like I'm full of nervous energy and just bursting to act out, then I find the best thing to do is to do some strenuous exercise or play the piano violently for half an hour.

If all else fails, try and think about the consequences of masturbation and porn before you start to act. Is it really worth it at the end of the day? Think where the 'first drink' will lead you. 

Anyway, don't give in and gd night.

DL 

My experience has been that after 20 years of trying I had to come to the conclusion of Step 1 of the SA program that:
"We admitted we were powerless over lust".

If you are like me (and I have no idea if you are) the bad news is there is no way to control it.  The good news is there is a way to connect with God who can take it away from you.

For me the Sexaholics Anonymous has been the road sign by my path to a personal connection to God.  It has been the beginning of a much better life for me.  I used to be plagued by obsession with lust.  Step 1 and the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous has been a life saver for me.

Jooboy

Thank you for your reply.

So far I have been trying to control the addiction without going down the SA route. To be honest, the idea of the SA program and meeting other people scares me totally.

I guess I am coming to the realisation that SA or at least the SA principles may be the only real solution.

Incidentally, does anyone have any experience with the 'Candeo' program? It was mentioned on a recent chizuk email.

thanks

Giboir

giboir,

This is a sentiment shared on this forum very frequently and is very understandable though probably very mistaken.  Many believe that the rooms are full of pedophiles, ex-cons and other assorted creepies.  This could not be further from the truth.  When you walk into the rooms you can't really figure out what the common thread between all the people there.  Doctors, lawyers, guys who work construction, therapists....  This condition knows no boundaries of race, religion, occupation or economic status.

This is not a medicine like chemotherapy that although effective has dangerous side effects.  SA is more like a rigorous sports spa.  They make you work hard but if feels REALLY good.

I'm not trying to convince anyone to go to SA.  The program only works if you want it and work it.  I just would love to dispel some of the misconceptions out there and clear the clouds of fear for those out there who are desperate for a solution that works and are willing to do what it takes to get better. 

Many here will say they will rely on a  Torah approach.  As far as I'm concerned, for an addict, the SA fellowship and program IS the Torah approach.

Hatzlacha