Friends,
Im back again
these breaks just keeping shorter dont they?
Tonight I started with a new therapist,a sex addict therapist,to be exact.
You have seen his name on the forum.He is the author of "first day of the rest of my life"
Really weird meeting,to say the least.
I walk in there and hes like why are u here?so i tell him.and he says let me get this straight:you are addicted to sex.i said ya.he said so whats the problem?sex is great!why would you want to stop?
I agreed with him completely.
But in all seriousness,his approach is very interesting.
It is as follows:
People need comfort and security/trust in the world.
Without those 2 things,we are going to have quite a difficult life.
All of us had some lack of trust as a little child.
That caused us to view the world in the same way(our view of the world is just an extension and development of our view of our mother,etc).
So the world is not a comfortable and secure place.
This causes alot of fears and anxieties.
A person cannot bear these.Nobody can bear this.Nobody.
So people each create their own blocks and ways of dealing.The word the rav used is "control".We need to control things that go on.
The comfort of sex and relationships is that comfort we so desperately want deep down.We want to stop hacving to "control" everything.We want the anxieties to stop.
So we drop our blocks and plunge in.
The comfort is of course,unreal and passing,but we nevertheless become addicted.
Now we don't even have control.
That drives us crazy.
What we (me and the rav) are planning to do in therapy is build trust in the world again.
What that means?I guess well find out.
-uri
p.s.-btw he knows guard personally.i tried several tricks to get him to give me his name,but hes very bright and he wouldnt share.im so jealous!