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TOPIC: Where I'm at 43435 Views

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 13:19 #32820

  • jerusalemsexaddict
Fragile.
Broken.
Empty.
Afraid.
Insecure.
Sad.
Lonely.
Pain.
Hurt.
Last Edit: by bengiemisc.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 13:22 #32823

  • Momo
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You think you feel badly, check this out: rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=477.msg32823#new



It's sung to rap.
Last Edit: by lamentida.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 14:01 #32837

  • jerusalemsexaddict
me too
but i cant afford that amount of beer every night.
of course,if ur willing to sponsor...

btw,im coming to america in a month.
and im staying by your house for shabbat,raja...
so get the guest room ready
Last Edit: by mordechaigad.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 14:11 #32841

  • jerusalemsexaddict
next do e minor then g
Last Edit: by ephraimliberman.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 14:57 #32846

  • 7yipol
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Uri wrote on 07 Dec 2009 12:45:

I apologize to the whole chevra here for last night's miserable performance.
I am having a very hard time now that I am letting go of control and I am feeling alot of pain and fear and insecurity.
I am,unfortuantely,lashing out at the only people who can actualy help me out of fear of trust and love,and feel the urge to run from everything constantly.
I have been attempting to take control of my fears and life and it is getting me nowhere as usual,just hurting me.
I have been resisting the control of authority on all fronts(as usual) and I will try to behave better in the future.

Apologetic and fragile
-uri


We'll get there son
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by testverify.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 15:25 #32860

  • the.guard
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Uri wrote on 07 Dec 2009 12:45:

I apologize to the whole chevra here for last night's miserable performance.
I am having a very hard time now that I am letting go of control and I am feeling alot of pain and fear and insecurity.
I am,unfortuantely,lashing out at the only people who can actualy help me out of fear of trust and love,and feel the urge to run from everything constantly.
I have been attempting to take control of my fears and life and it is getting me nowhere as usual,just hurting me.
I have been resisting the control of authority on all fronts(as usual) and I will try to behave better in the future.

Apologetic and fragile
-uri


:'( ... Feeling your pain, son. We'll always be there for you. In America or wherever.

Follow those who light the path in front of us all... Like Reb Dov and Reb Shraga...

Keep on the path of honesty, humility and trust.

I see BIG things in store for you.

LOL (lots of love),
Guard.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by גערשטן.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 16:38 #32885

  • jerusalemsexaddict
:'(
is rav shlachter right about all this???
im letting go of control but i dont find any trust coming in.
and im afraid of trying to get trust from pple cause that's "control"
am i not understanding something?
all that's happened is that my gaava is increasing like crazy,i keep thinking i have all the answers,i take on all these cases,im mean to pple im close to,and i desperately desire a woman to be with.
i thought i was on the path of recovery.
instead i just make myself sick.
Last Edit: by erlicheryid1.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 17:03 #32898

  • imtrying25
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Hey wats up Uri. we gotta just keep our trust in thise who know better and just follow their lead. Although we might not see the results we want right away we gotta believe that they know best. And were just following and eventually well get there and feel and see the truth first hand. tried calling last nite but i guess you werent in the mood. Its ok i understand
Last Edit: by latan.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 17:07 #32900

  • the.guard
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Uri wrote on 07 Dec 2009 16:38:

:'(
is rav shlachter right about all this???
im letting go of control but i dont find any trust coming in.
and im afraid of trying to get trust from pple cause that's "control"
am i not understanding something?
all that's happened is that my gaava is increasing like crazy,i keep thinking i have all the answers,i take on all these cases,im mean to pple im close to,and i desperately desire a woman to be with.
i thought i was on the path of recovery.
instead i just make myself sick.


Sounds like these might be good questions to discuss with him on your next visit 
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by noshimnosher.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 17:10 #32901

  • letakain
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getting a shot:

mommy: come, sweetie, it's our turn
little kid: whimpers. Nooooo! it's gonna hurt!!!!
Mommy: shh....it's ok, i'm going to hold you'r hand the whole time

Doctor: Hi!....ok, this is going to hurt a bit.
Child: begins crying... Mommy, please! don't let him hurt me!!!!!!
Mommy: come, shaifeleh! sit on mommy's lap. scream as loud as you want. it's ok to cry. close your eyes and bury your face in my shoulder. i'm holding you so tightly. But stick out your hand for the doctor. it will hurt, but This is good for you.
I am proud of myself today because of who I am becoming with progress, not perfection
one day at a time
I am a pickle, and I'll never be a cucumber again. and pickles are YUM!

my thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/6-Women-on-the-way-to-90-Days/248941-Letakains-internet-addiction-journal
Last Edit: by 2023.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 17:16 #32903

  • the.guard
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all that's happened is that my gaava is increasing like crazy


Sounds like a baal gava to me 

hey Uri, As long as we don't know what is causing our pain and sickness, we are very far from recovery. But the fact you recognize all this about yourself, and you are starting to recognize your desperate need for control, that is the biggest proof in my eyes that the therapy is WORKING. For the first time, you actually SEE what is wrong with you. And that is just one step away from getting better.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by havdula.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 17:28 #32910

  • 7yipol
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Uri wrote on 07 Dec 2009 16:38:

:'(
is rav shlachter right about all this???
im letting go of control but i dont find any trust coming in.
and im afraid of trying to get trust from pple cause that's "control"
am i not understanding something?
all that's happened is that my gaava is increasing like crazy,i keep thinking i have all the answers,i take on all these cases,im mean to pple im close to,and i desperately desire a woman to be with.
i thought i was on the path of recovery.
instead i just make myself sick.


I also see this as improvement. Shvil hazahav doesnt come easily.
Until now, you desperately tried being in control of yourself and own life.
Now, you are trying the other extreme of controlling others.
Unlike the past, when you controlled, now your aim is to help via control.
You are moving in the right direction.
Be patient with the process
and with yourself.

We believe in you.
iyH soon, you will too
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by imbetter.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 18:02 #32924

  • habib613
Uri wrote on 07 Dec 2009 16:38:

is rav shlachter right about all this???

i don't know how to answer that, but i do think you've been different lately.
in a healthy way.

and totally off topic, but whenever i'm not on my comp i can see your pic, and it always makes me want to get a pet. a puppy. or maybe a kitty. they're just so CUTE!
Last Edit: by diddles.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 18:28 #32933

  • jerusalemsexaddict
all i can see is thast it's god's grace that im in a safe house right now.
i shudder to think what would happen were i home
Last Edit: by yesodchazak.

Re: Where I'm at 07 Dec 2009 18:33 #32935

  • jerusalemsexaddict
God help me.
Last Edit: by serurdayanelias.
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