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Where I'm at
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TOPIC: Where I'm at 43145 Views

Re: Where I'm at 05 Nov 2009 22:20 #27091

  • the.guard
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Actually, now that I see Dov's Mussar to you (with love), maybe you'd better listen to Rav Shlachter... From what you posted here today, it seems he's doing a real good job!!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Naftoly123.

Re: Where I'm at 05 Nov 2009 22:33 #27096

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I hate to be the one disagreeing with R' Dov (Dont hit me Guard, dont hit!)

I think Uri's breaking his rule was the right thing to do today.
Who was it who gave us the brilliant line
"To heck with me what can I do for you?"
Uri is off the forum for now, in order to experience "life",
instead of burying himself in a visual world of wishful thinking.

But what better way to really live than to be there for the next person when they need us?
His posting wasnt a case of running from life,
rather, running to life!

And Uri wont even get to see this - coz tomorrow the rule is reinstated!
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by Gondwanaland11576.

Re: Where I'm at 05 Nov 2009 22:54 #27099

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I'm sure Reb Dov agrees, he was probably just worried that Uri would get sucked back into the virtual world... Hey, and I was too there, for a moment 
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Jez69.

Re: Where I'm at 08 Nov 2009 16:52 #27275

  • Dov
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7Up wrote on 05 Nov 2009 22:33:

I hate to be the one disagreeing with R' Dov


Please, please, Mme' 7up, have a little talk with my wife!! ;D

Ha! Wow....whew....thanks, I feel much better now.
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."
Last Edit: by Masktheeye.

Re: Where I'm at 10 Nov 2009 17:11 #27513

  • jerusalemsexaddict
I hate when this happens!
I write these really deep posts and you guys pick this one unimportant point and debate it.
Uch!
Last Edit: by Sheva Yipol Vekom.

Re: Where I'm at 10 Nov 2009 17:16 #27515

  • 7yipol
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Thats because if we discussed the deep, profound posts, you'd have a hard time staying away from here!

Hint hint

But I must admit its great having you back.
Now if that newbe cry2tatte would also come and say hi...
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by mfbrain.

Re: Where I'm at 10 Nov 2009 17:18 #27519

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Shver.

combat this with some more of your deep posts

(that shouldn't be too shver.)
Last Edit: by Aaron01.

Re: Where I'm at 10 Nov 2009 17:20 #27522

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Uri, you're right. I just went back and read those posts and they blew me away. I decided to put them into today's Chizuk e-mail. Honest. Thank you!!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by riseharry.

Re: Where I'm at 12 Nov 2009 22:53 #28079

  • jerusalemsexaddict
K.Can't let this thread be neglected,ch'v.

Some big hugs today:
1)Caught a bus exactly on time
2)Going into work I heard the song playing "I will survive"
3)Saw a magnet "It's better to try and fail and try and fail than to fail and to fail to try again."

Update on my life...

I now have a job working in a sefarim store.
Geshmak!
I'm with seforim and people all day (seforim in between people's).
And they love me because i know the seforim and pick things up quick and am bi-lingual (now if only i could get myself to stop flirting (back?) with the girls who come in.)
In general my life's been on the up.
I'm becoming much happier with myself and memayla less depressed.
I mas** here and there,but it's more as like an afterthought.
Life can be a bit scary sometimes but aren't all adventures?
As I feel more internal strength and security build,I feel the courage to start facing more issues of mine and dealing with them much more productively than ever before.
It is definetly a process of time,which requires patience,which I do not yet have (mom has none to lend.i already asked).
So yea,that's my story.
I love you all very much.
A gut shabbos
-uri
Last Edit: by Ysrolik.

Re: Where I'm at 12 Nov 2009 23:03 #28082

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What would we do without Rage ATM? Tell me! What would we do!!!!????

  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."
Last Edit: 12 Nov 2009 23:05 by greg85.

Re: Where I'm at 12 Nov 2009 23:08 #28084

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Rage is back in full gear! Gevaldig!

Now lets all hope Uri can take a joke.
Last Edit: by chase123.

Re: Where I'm at 13 Nov 2009 03:39 #28110

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Uri wrote on 05 Nov 2009 21:34:

Okay I also just realized i only have one star
i see how it is

anyway...
youve unleashed the monster mom.
once i start posting you know i cant stop

I wanted to add something.

I think the real turning point for me in not getting tortured by my falls was that i realized that my fall had become about falling or not falling.
And rav shlachter said STOP
Since when did life become about surviving?
Another day making it without acting out or going crazy?
I was always worried about one or the other
I was surviving
And life SUCKED
Because i wasn't able to just live life with all my heart and soul and everything i had
I wasnt able to relax
It's like i was always drowning and trying to keep my head above the water
But everyone knows that when u struggle ur much more prone to die.
The way to not drown is to just let go.
Let yourself sink.
And you'll naturally float back up.
By struggling,you're just wasting all of your energy.
And at that moment,I firmly decided(not resolved)that from then on,I would start living.
And the past week or so has been beautiful.
I can breathe in the air freely.
I spent half the afternoon rolling down hills. (cracked,I know)
A freedom I never thought I would have.
I have just started living.
Not surviving.
Living.
And it's beautiful.
Now when I act out (which incidentally is much less) I just go "ok now ill just have to work a little harder to connect to life again."
I don't have to go crazy.
My life is not dependant on acting out or not.
I'm just...
living




Hey, that was exactly what i needed to hear, I get exactly like that, whenver i maust**** , I feel like such a stinking piece of s###
I make these crazy goals about going clean for a week and stuff. and whenver I mess up, i can't seem to get up and go on, it's almost like an obsession. it's so hard, I just harp on it nad never move on.. like today,  ijust did it a couple of hours ago, and i'm telling myself things like, oh , I'm such a retard, I can't believe i slipped up  , I didnt want to... i feel so tired now.... (which i do, after I slip) I'm gonna try for another week now.... etc etc. I just find it hard to change my focus, and i need direction. Cheers
Last Edit: by AT545.

Re: Where I'm at 13 Nov 2009 07:25 #28130

  • jerusalemsexaddict
Rage ATM wrote on 12 Nov 2009 22:56:

Uri wrote on 12 Nov 2009 22:53:

I mas** here and there,


i would think that if youre rabbi/psychologist gave you permission to do it he'd also tell you to only do it in the bathroom or something.


Nope.It's my call.Free country.
Btw,are you in israel rage?
Cause I saw someone yelling and punching the machine at the bank last night,and thought it might be you.
Last Edit: by M1450.

Re: Where I'm at 13 Nov 2009 12:49 #28169

  • jerusalemsexaddict
I learned something today in the Ramchal that i simply must share.
His question was a often asked one?
Why are some people poor and some rich?
Why do some suffer while some have seemingly easier lives?
Why do some of us struggle with SA,while other people can get by without?
Why are so many of us depressed with so many insecurities while others not?
Why do so many of us come from insecure homes while others come from unconditionally loving families?

The answer:
Hashem created the world in a imperfect state.
This is our job.To perfect the world.
Hashem therefore sent certain neshamos down with certain missions to perfect parts of the creation.
It is known that there is a individual mission,and a worldly mission.
I have my neshama which has certain imperfections which I have to work on.
And then there is the world's imperfections which certain types of people have the koach to change.

Some people are rich so that they can work on giving.Because the world needs a certain amount of giving to be fixed.And the world needs a certain amount of mesiras nefesh to be fixed.The more difficult the nisayon,the greater effect it has on the world at large.And those that are poor were hand-picked by Hashem for this mission because they have the ability to withstand this nisayon.

Chevra,we all know one serious defect this world has and has always had.
Lust.
It's maybe the biggest one out there.Shver.
And Hashem hand-picked some of his greates neshamos and sent us on this mission.
And we unknowingly come down to this world,and our house sucks,and our life is difficult,and the lust rages and burns within us.
And when we overcome it.
When we fix it....
Chevra,we are fixing the world.
Gevaldig

A gutten shabbos to all my holy friends here
-uri
Last Edit: by Officeboy.

Re: Where I'm at 14 Nov 2009 17:42 #28249

  • jerusalemsexaddict
i was at home for shabbos(doctors orders) which is very hard for me and gets me feeling very insecure and irritable.
now i cant think of somthing to do tonight
ill prob act out,but that's not fun
i wanna live
what can i do to live
its so hard to pull myself out of this restless destructive mindset.
uch!
Last Edit: by ZalmanBerson.
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