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Where I'm at
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: Where I'm at 43421 Views

Re: Where I'm at 31 Jul 2009 15:51 #10296

  • Uri
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OY my beautiful friends if only i could express my relief at this moment
still going.a little battleworn but still going nonetheless
thank you everybody so much.you all saved my life here(yet again)tomim for the advice and chizuk guard for the brillliant last second save attempt with my own chizuk.second time it worked youe so good.and mom check my pm
i gotta run almost shabbos but seriously thank you all  ;D  ;D  :D  :D      :D  :D  ;D  ;D -uri
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Re: Where I'm at 01 Aug 2009 02:26 #10322

  • Tomim2B
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Last Edit: 08 Jan 2010 13:15 by redcard52.

Re: Where I'm at 01 Aug 2009 18:05 #10323

  • the.guard
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Way to go Uri, you are really inspiring!

See Chizuk e-mail #478 on this page for some ideas on dealing with stress...
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by JerseyHope.

Re: Where I'm at 01 Aug 2009 18:38 #10327

  • 7yipol
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Whew!

Now, I get to relax! I worried all Shabbos!
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by laurae.

Re: Where I'm at 01 Aug 2009 21:55 #10331

  • Uri
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chevra,
shavua tov.thank you for the chizuk and advice.7up im so sorry i wasnt able to inform u before shabbos of my success.please do not worry aboutme it just makes me feel that much guiltier.i had an ok shabbos,baruch hashem,in terms of my streak.but i for some reason felt pretty depressed.this has been going on for a few days already.i missed shacharis cause i was too depressed to leave bed.and while for some reason shabbos im usually in the clear,sat night isnt as easy.i so far already had one close call.at the moment im allright though thank G-d.im just trying to do one period at a time here.theres the night,the late night,the morning,the afternoon,the late afternoon,and all over again.each tekufah comes with its own trials and struggles.im learning how to handle each one differently.
as i was saying,for some reason on shabbos i very very rarely have trouble not mas**.if theres a girl i might fall.but myself,almost never.maybe its my hightened sense of purity??any thoughts?
again i spent a lot of time in bed this shabbos.i feel depressed whenever in bed,especially after waking up.most after a nap.any thoughts/similar experiences?wishing everyone a safe night-uri
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Re: Where I'm at 01 Aug 2009 22:28 #10334

  • Uri
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wow this place is DEAD motzei shabbos in israel.u guys gotta make aliya soon or im gonna remain bored as heck,and we all know what that leads to...
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Re: Where I'm at 02 Aug 2009 04:26 #10343

  • Tomim2B
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Last Edit: 08 Jan 2010 13:22 by ratherstayanonymous.

Re: Where I'm at 02 Aug 2009 05:45 #10349

  • TrYiNg
Uri (JA) wrote on 01 Aug 2009 22:28:

wow this place is DEAD motzei shabbos in israel.u guys gotta make aliya soon or im gonna remain bored as heck,and we all know what that leads to...

VERY SOON , IMYH!
( I have some good news to tell you, moshiachs on his way...)
E.L, it's in middle of the night...
Last Edit: by niceyid.

Re: Where I'm at 02 Aug 2009 08:26 #10358

  • 7yipol
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please do not worry aboutme it just makes me feel that much guiltier


Guilt  is the last thing I want you to feel. Can you explain why my concern makes  you feel that way so I know what to avoid in the future? Remember; concern and pressure are worlds apart. We are happy and here for you if you make it through the day; we are here if you even if dont.

Try force yourself out of the bed even if its the last thing in the world that you want to do. Go to bed with a plan: "When I wake up I will do x, y, and z.

[quote[.im just trying to do one period at a time here.theres the night,the late night,the morning,the afternoon,the late afternoon,and all over again.each tekufah comes with its own trials and struggles.im learning how to handle each one differently.[/quote]

This is the wisest way to do it. Momo also breaks his day into pieces and he's one of the most stubborn warriors on GYE. You can learn a lot from him.

Wishes for a wonderful, HAPPY day,
7up
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
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Re: Where I'm at 02 Aug 2009 08:51 #10364

  • Uri
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im out of bed.now what?im bored and feeling depressed.lust fills up time so nicely,i must say.im reading the gue handbook cause nothing better to do.in truth i prob have several options of things to do with my day,but i dont have the will or koach.my fantasies have switched for the most part from lust to love.my abstinence is becoming a little more of a reality for me,but my need is as strong and as real as it has ever been.it has found expression and security in lust and refuses to leave.which leaves me bored and depressed.im clean but theres a sparkly clean and theres a boring clean and tidy.im the second.
mom i dont want u to be so concerned about me that it disturbes your shabbos or sleep or such.thats ridiculous.its just mas** for G-d's sake.i dont have suicide on my agenda,ch'v.
i wouldnt mind encouragement and a friendly word right now(no mussar please.and dont tell me to get out and do something either).im sorry im in such a bad mood right now guys.i love you all-Uri
Last Edit: by asincereyid.

Re: Where I'm at 02 Aug 2009 09:16 #10372

  • Tomim2B
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Last Edit: 08 Jan 2010 17:33 by DeletedUser38617.

Re: Where I'm at 02 Aug 2009 09:35 #10373

  • 7yipol
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mom i dont want u to be so concerned about me that it disturbes your shabbos or sleep or such.thats ridiculous.its just mas** for G-d's sake.i dont have suicide on my agenda,ch'v.


Dont worry Uri; I slept just fine and still managed to enjoy my Shabbos. But once youre adopted here on GYE, we care. Not much you can do about it ;D  I wasnt worried about the mast** etc per say.  My concern was more that if you did fall ch'v you would feel very down - and the yh knows the next step very well - depression! I see you managed the depression anyway At least you didnt fall; hold on to that!

So why arent you trying 'heavy metal' or deveikus (feels strange to say the 2 in the same sentence!)?

Whenever you feel able, may I suggest you make up a list of all the things you could theoretically do to stay busy - short term and long. Anything from basketball to volunteering for .....(fill in the blank), hobbies, hiking, friends, learning, either torah or a new skill etc etc.

Love is a definite improvement over lust in my humble opinion. iyH the desire for human love will eventually transfer itself into love for Hashem. Because He loves you so very much. Look for His hugs, believe me, they are there!
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
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Re: Where I'm at 02 Aug 2009 11:13 #10376

  • Sturggle
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dear uri,

what you are saying about how you feel today is something that strongly resonates with me. like some others have already mentioned, it might be helpful to go over your posts. what would you like to be doing with yourself? maybe it's ok to relax, lay low and even stay in bed for a while. at times when i feel depressed and i want to just stay in bed, the most helpful thing for me is not to fight and do just that. maybe i'd think of what i want to be doing and then when i'm ready i'll do it. for me it could take some time. also, if you want, you can write me a post on my thread, your last comment meant a lot to me and i don't get close to as much action on my thread as you do on yours.

oh, and here is me sharing something with you and saying i think ur great.  :D ;D :

kol tuv man.

struggle
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Re: Where I'm at 02 Aug 2009 12:40 #10378

  • Uri
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i appreciate the advice everybody.im still in a pretty bad mood but im gonna get myself outside iy'h.im thinking of getting a partner/sponsor.id most prefer a woman,but since thats not so shayach,im looking for a yeshivishe guy married preferably chilled out to be my partner.o,and in israel,being as thats where im at.i know theres a section for this but i feel that more pple see my thread.pm me if u have someone-uri
p.s. i feel like that belongs in a singles section
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Re: Where I'm at 02 Aug 2009 18:41 #10392

  • 7yipol
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How are you feeling now Uri?

I think a sponsor / partner is the best idea youve had so far! I strongly recommend it, even if it means I have to share
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by ShuviNafshi.
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