I was very touched by Chizuk e-mail # 528 as many of you were - especially since I had my own Yerida 2 days ago.

Hashem did me a big favor early this morning and sent me Rav Shalom Arush to cheer me up. I am in the middle of learning his sefer B'gan Hachochma. It is an extensive elaboration of one of Reb Nachman's stories. This story is about 2 friends, one is a "Chacham" a wise boy with unlimited talents, the other is a "Tam", a person with very limited capabilities. The other difference between them is that the Chacham is the prototype of Kochi Vyotzei Miyadi..., someone who believes that his own capabilities will determine his fate while the Tam is totally reliant on Hashem. The story is very involved and follows them through a major part of their lives. I recommend that you should check it out for yourself.

I happened to be up to page 119 in Rav Arush's book and read until page 136. These pages were dedicated to explaining the Simcha of the Tam, (a Shoemaker), even though his shoes are of very inferior quality. Although his shoes all have 3 corners, he feels that since he is doing his best, that is what Hashem asks of him and he is therefore very proud, satisfied and Besmicha from what he produces.

Rav Arush then went into a very long discussion of how people get deppresed because even though they try their best to succeed, they fail and continue to fall. He said that if someone gets deppresed, then he doesn't have Emunah, because he thinks that he could accomplish something that Hashem didn't want him to accomplish. The biggest proof that Hashem didn't want him to accomplish what a person wants to accomplish, is that he continues to fail once or many times! Even though a person tries his best, Hashem doesn't let him succeed,  because he hasn't yet built up the vessels to be able to correctly react to success. Succeeding under such circumstances leads a person to Gaivo, which is worse then any Avaira since it severs a person's relationship with Hashem.

If a person keeps on doing T'shuva and Davens for assistance, eventually he will build strong enough vessels for him to succeed at what he is trying to accomplish, and when he does succeed, he won't attribute his success to himself but only to Hashem.

Therefore, the only Bechira (choice) we really have is to be happy or not, irrespective of our success or failure.

He also said that success doesn't breed happiness, but happiness breeds success. Which means that even if we keep on losing our long drawn out battles, as long as we recognize that Hashem is the one pullinjg the strings, we can be happy since Hashem ultimately knows what is best for our Tikun.

There is much more that I haven't repeated and I strongly recommend his seforim. It has changed my life and the life of many of my closest Chabura.

On a related topic, Rav Moshe Wolfson always refers to the 3 weeks in relation to the Sefer Yetzira's Yesod, that the world is divided into 3 parts - Olam, Shana and Nefesh. This means that time, place and soul are the 3 parallels in existence. For example, On Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year, the Kohen Gadol, the holiest soul in Klal Yisroel goes into the Kodesh Hakoshim, the holiest place on earth.

Leading up to and during the 3 weeks, we find that very holy souls sinned. We had the Parshas talking about the Misonenim and Tavanicks, the loshon Horah of Miriam, Korach, the Miraglim, Zimri etc... It seems that Klal Yisroel went to pieces throughout the entire sefer Bamidbar. These were all very Hieliga Neshamos that had a Nefila. Corresponding to that, in time, we therefore have the 3 weeks which are in reality one of the most Heilga times of the year, but these weeks have "fallen" from their very high level.

This is precisely why all of us are having such a tough time now, and previously during this period. But instead of giving up, the opportunity to raise oneself is unparalleled during this time, as we say in Lecho Dodi, "Rav Luch Sheves B'amek Habocha - homoletically translated as "Great is the Shabbosim and weeks during the 3 weeks" (time of weeping).

Now for the desert
Rav Wolfson said that possibly the "lowest" Neshama in the Torah was the son of Shlomis Bas Divri, who later was known as the Mekalel. She was the only one who had relations (by mistake) with an Egyptian during Shibud Mitzrayim, (the Egyption exile), and the Mekallel was the result of that unG-dly union.

The Gematriya of Perek Tes Vov Posuk Lamed Vov, from the beginning of the posuk until the words "B'avanim", which stated that entire Klal Yisroel stoned the Mekallel outside of the camp, is equal to the Gematriya of the Posuk found in Shmuel Bais Perek Yud Daled Posuk Yud Daled, starting from the word "Vechoshaiv", which means that Hashem, who understands the minds of people, testifies that nobody will be pushed away. This means that even the Mikallel, the lowest soul received his Tikun.

Let's hope that our Avodah and extreme yearning to do the will of Hashem - even in these trying times, will be enough to bring the Tikun of these days and we will soon greet Moshiach. B"B"A

Pintele Yid