Here is the highlights of "Harrys Son", now "Harry's Son"

Yosef Hatzadick I hope your are ok with my copying your hard work.

Harry's Son

By: Bardichev

Volume 1

  PART 1

                     

HI MY NAME IS YANKI.

I AM IN THE EIGHT GRADE OF TALMUD TORAH CHUCHMAH-UMUSSAR

I LOVE SCHOOL AND I HAVE A DECENT REBBI

HERE IS THE ISSUE.

MY TATTY IS REALLY INTERSTING

HE IS VERY BUSY WITH HIS NEW BLACKBERRY HE HAS A REAL COOL LAPTOP( I KNOW THE PASSWORD SHHH) HE NEVER LETS ME WATCH ANY VIDEOS BUT.. I THINK HE DOES IN THE SUMMER WHEN IM IN CAMP WHATEVER..

ON SHABBOS, HE DAVENS WITH A BRENN BUT SOMETIMES I AM NOT SURE WHAT HE WANTS FROM ME.

NOW HERE IS THE REAL FUNNY THING MOMMY IS THE BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD
LOVES ME TO PIECES BUT.. BUT.. SHE AND TATTY ARE MAMESH AH PEERIM SHPEEL


I HAVE TO TELL YOU A SECRET I AM EMBARRASSED TO WALK WITH THEM ON THE STREET

SEE TATTY LOOKS ALL HOLY BIG BEKESHE AND NICE BEARD MOMMY GETS ALL THE STARES OMG!!
SHE DRESSES A LITTLE FUNNY WHATEVER BUT SHE REALLY IS SO FRUM AND EHRLICH SHE REALLY IS

TATTY TELLS ME ALL DAY KEDUSHA SHMEDUSHA KISHKA HEY I TUNE HIM OUT.
HE SCREAMS DON’T TOUCH MY BLACK BERRY !!
MOMMY JUST SHUTS UP AND ROLLS HER EYES

LATER HE LEAVES TO SHUL (SO HE SAYS)
MOMMY SAYS TATTY HAD A HARD DAY

I THINK SHE CRIES A LOT (ITS JUST AN ASSUMPTION)

CAN SOME ONE HELP ME I HAVE SO MANY MIXED MESSAGES

I CAN'T WAIT TO BE BIG AND I WILL DO WHATEVER I WANT

YANKI

(MY TATTY STILL CALLS ME YANKELE,  MOMMY SAYS  HEY YANK SHE IS TOO COOL)


~~~~~~~


                                PART 2

HI IT'S YANKY AGAIN

I CAME HOME EARLY FROM ENGLISH MOMMY SAID IF I WATCH OUR BABY

SHE WILL LET ME USE HER COMPUTER (PINK VIAO TATTY GOT IT FROM POINTS WHATEVER THAT MEANS)

I REALLY THINK ALL YOU BIG GUYS SOUND A SHTIKKLE LIKE MY TATTY

ITS MORE OF THE DO LIKE I SAY NOT LIKE I DO

YOU SEE MOMMY SHE IS SUPER DUPER EVERYTHING "SHTIMMS"

SHE DOESENT "FUDDER" TOO MUCH AND JUST WANTS ME TO BE HAPPY

TATTY IS ALWAYS EXPLAINING DIFFICULT EXPLANATIONS OF THINGS I KNOW INSIDE OUT

OK I GOT MAKE THIS QUICK

I FEEL THAT THE THINGS TATTY TELLS ME HE DOESN'T REALLY BELEIVE

AND THAT MOMMY LOOKS MUCH DIFFERRENT THAN SHE REALLY REALLY IS

THE WORLD SEES THE WRONG PICTURE

NOW IF I EVER TOLD THIS TO TATTY HE WOULD GET

MAD MAD MAD

IF I WOULD TELL IT TO MOMMY SHE WOULD LAUGH BUT I KNOW IT THE KIND OF LAUGH YOU LAUGH WHEN YOU REALLY WANT TO CRY


~~~~~~~


                            PART 3

HI ITS YANKY AGAIN

I AM PLAYING SICK MOMMY SAID I CAN STAY HOME TODAY (ITS 'ONLY' FRIDAY)

LAST NIGHT WAS NOT ALOT OF FUN IN MY HOUSE

TATTY CAME HOM IN A REAL BAD MOOD

I KNEW TO "MAKE BELIEVE" I WASN'T LISTENING TO HIS LOUD CONVERSATION WITH MOMMY

TATTY: WHY DID YOU LET YANKY USE THE LAPTOP

MOMMY: I WENT TO THE GYM AND I NEEDED HIM TO BABY SIT

TATTY: (READING HIS BLACKBERRY AND TALKING AND EATING ARBISS FROM THE GOLDEN TASTE BOX) GYM? GYM? THURSDAY NITE NOTHING BETTER TO DO

MOMMY: (SHE IS SOO SWEET) I WOULD HAVE STAYED HOME ,I WOULD LOVE TO REMIND YOU WHO SAID I NEED TO GO 3 TIMES AWEEK OR ELSE...

TATTY: YAEH . BUT I DIDNT SAY THURDAY

TATTY: ( BLACKBERRY BACK IN POCKET) WHY WAS HE HOME?

MOMMY: I THINK HE DOESNT LIKE HIS REBBI.. WE SPOKE ABOUT IT BEFOREE YOM TOV ..YOU SAID.. WHATEVER.. I DONT WANT TO UPSET YOU NOW... YOU WANT SUPPER...

TATTY: REBBI REBBI REBBI WHY CANT YANKELEH JUST BE NORMAL

MOMMY: HE "IS" NORMAL

TATTY: WHY IS HE ALWAYS TRYING TO USE THE COMPUTER??

MOMMY: (OY IS SHE THE BEST LAWYER) HESHY,(HIS YIDDISH NAME ) LOOK WHO IS TALKING

TATTY: I"M NOT A BOY I AM A WORKING PERSON I "NEED" TO BE IN TOUCH

MOMMY: BUT WHO WILL TEACH HIM??

TATTY: OF COUSRE ME ! I WILL CALL HIM INTO MY SFOORIM SHTEEB AND LOOK HIM IN THE EYES AND WARN HIM IF I "CHAPP" HIM ON THE COMPUTER AGAIN I FEEL BAD FOR HIM

MOMMY: I SAID "TEACH"

TATTY: I SAID ME

MOMMY LOOKS LIKE SHE "NEEDS" TO CRY SO SHE LAUGHS

TATTY GETS APHONE CALL STANDS UP TELS MOMMY DONT WORRY I LKNOW HOW TO SPEAK TO HIM I AM VERY KEEN IN WHAT THE MATZAV IS ALL ABOUT I WILL TALK TO HIM ON SHABBBOS IA M A GOOD FATHER YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL SILLY I DONT KNOW WHY ITS MY FAULT OK

OK I GOTTA GO

YANKELEH ICH GEI TZEE MAARIV DONT TOUCH THE LAPTOP BYE!!


~~~~~~~


                                              PART 4

OK ALL OF YOU BIG PEOPLE

I HAVE TO CONTINUE MY STORY

SHABBOS IN MY HOUSE IS USUALLY A BIG SHOW

SOMETIMES COMEDY SOMETIMES DRAMA SOMETIMES HORROR

BUT ALWAYS ENTERTAINING


(THERE IS A POINT TO ALL THIS YOU WILL SOON SEE)





MOMMY IS ALWAYS READY FOR SHABBOS ON TIME

SHE GETS DRESSED FOR SHABBOS OMG!PLUS

I CAN’T WAIT FOR SHABBOS JUST TOO SE WHAT COSTUME SHE CAN CONCOCT

NOW THERE IS A FAMILIAR "SHPEEL" IN MY HOUSE

MY MOTHER IS TOTALLY PREDICTABLE, I CAN GUESS EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS DOING

LIKE IF SHE WILL GO OUT TO VISIT  MY BABBY SHE WILL WEAR THIS OLD ROBE

IF SHE IS SATYING HOME ITS REALLY NICE ROBE

IF SHE IS GOING TO A SIMCHA LIKE TO EAT IN A HALL IT’S HORRIBLE

SHE DRESSES LIKE I DON’T EVEN HAVE THE RIGHT WORDS MAYBE CAUSE I LOVE HER TOO MUCH

SO HERE IS MY TAKE ON IT (IT’S A GUESS HEY I’M ONLY 12)

TATTY LOVES (COULD BE DEMANDS BUT THAT’S NOT MY BUSINESS) THAT MOMMY DRESSES WAY TOO COOL. I KNOW IT BECAUSE I ALWAYS WATCH TO SEE IF HE APPROVES.

HE DOESN’T SAY WORDS JUST LIKE SHAKES HIS HEAD (OR GRUNTS REALLY FUNNY, NOT) SHE RUSHES OFF TO HER ROOM AND WALLA!! NEW COSTUME!!

DON’T GET ME WRONG SHE LOVES CLOTHES SHE GOES SHOPPING ALL DAY SHE HAS TONS OF MAGAZINES ABOUT FASHION

TATTY CAUGHT ME READING THEM BOY DID I GET IT. OUCH IT STILL HURTS. SO I KEEP CLEAR OF HER READING MATERIAL.

ANY HOW I DON’T LOOK DOWN UPON HER HOW SHE DRESSES BECAUSE I KNOW SHE IS THE BEST BEST BEST IN THE WORLD

OKAY SO WHAT HAPPENED THIS SHABBOS?

I CAUSED TROUBLE ,I BROKE A FEW RULES ,I WAS CAUGHT USING MOMMYS LAPTOP(SHE LET ME BUT SHE DIDN’T WANT TO TELL TATTY SO I TOOK THE HEAT ,ME AND MOMMY HAVE THIS DEAL YUP SHE IS COOL). I WAS ALSO CAUGHT WITH A BOOK I TOOK OUT OF THE LIBRARY (REBBI DOES NOT LET) BUT WHAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK WAS MY COMMENTS..

I USUALLY KEEP MY THOUGHTS TO MYSELF  BUT I DECIDED TO TEST THE WATERS AND BE A BIT “CHUTZPADIK”

HERE GOES BLOW FOR BLOW

TATTY: YANKELEH

ME: IGNORING

TATTY: YAN-KEH-LEH

ME: TAH ?  WHERE YOU CALLING ME

TATTY: WHEN I SAY YOUR NAME I MEAN I AM TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION

(ME: I THINK I AM IN TROUBLE)

TATTY: “TATTY NEEDS TO TALK TO YOU” (WHEN HE GOES 3RD PERSON I AM DONE DONE DONE)

ME: TALK ABOUT WHAT?

TATTY: DON’T BE FRESH

ME: (FAKE CRYING) WHAT DID I SAY?

TATTY: NOW YOU ARE COVERING UP AH AHA

ME: TATTY I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO YOU BUT…

TATTY: BUT WHAT?

ME: YOU GET SOO MAD AT ME SO FAST

TATTY: I NEVER GET MAD

I HAVE A WAY OF BEING “MASBIR” THINGS I AM NOT A KAASAN WHAT A CHUTZPAH YOU CALL YOUR FATHER A KAASAN VEE HUTT MEN DUUS GEHERT WAIT TILL I TELL YOUR REBBI  ABOUT THIS .. CALL YOUR OWN FATHER A NAME AN INSULT! MY OWN SON! FORGET IT I HAVE NOTHING TO DISCUSS WITH YOU
YOU HAVE BAD MIDDOS.. YOU ARE UNGRATEFUL!! YOU ARE AS STUPID AS YOUR M M M

HE STOPPED MIDSENTENCE AND LOCKED HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM


~~~~~~~


PART 5

MOMMY: PSST YANK ITS ME, MOMMY OPEN YOUR DOOR

ME: “IS TATTY WITH YOU?”

MOMMY:JUST OPEN THE DOOR SHE IS LAUGHING AGAIN (WHAT A SPORT)

YANK, LISTEN YOU HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO TATTY

ME: WHAT? I SAID NOTHING AND I WAS JUST A LITTLE FRESH I DIDN’T CALL ANY NAMES HE JUST FLIPS OUT.

MOMMY:TZADDIK LISTEN ITS ALL FROM HASHEM PLEASE (SHE REALLY IS SUCH A FRUMMY ON THE INSIDE)

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO A PERSON IS “BASHERT” FROM HASHEM

GO ASK HIM MECHILAA WE CAN STILL HAVE A WONDERFUL SHABBOS

ME: WHAT DID I DO??

MOMMY: (TALKING TO HERSELF  SHE NEVER DOES) NOTHING NOTHING LIKE ME

ME: WHAT?

MOMMY: JUST SAY I AM SORRY HE HAS A LOT ON HIS MIND

WHATS THE MATTER?

MOMMY:HE IS SCARED YOU WILL BECOME A BUMB

ME:  ME A BUMB ?? I AM JUST AREGULAR KID

MOMMY:HE THINKS YOU ARE INTO GIRLS

WHAT?? ME I AM JUST AREGULAR KID?

MOMMY:YANKELEH (OUCH SHE IS IN BIG TROUBLE IF SHE IS ALSO YANKEHLEH-ING ME)

YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU

ME: YESS MA DON’T SAY THAT TWICE

MOMMY:DO IT FOR ME! (OUCH AGAIN)

ME: MA ONE SECOND!

AM I BECOMING A BUMB?

MOMMY:NO!

ME: AM I ANY DIFFERENT THAN YOU WANT ME TO BE

MOMMY:NO!

ME: ARE YOU DIFFERENT THAN TATTY WANTS YOU TO BE??

(MOMMY HUGS ME SO HARD I FEEL MY NECK CRACKING)

SHE WHISPERS IN MY EAR “ I AM WHAT TATTY WANTS ME TO BE”

YOU WONT UNDERSTAND TILL YOU GET OLDER

ME: MA! ME AND YOU ARE ON THE SAME TEAM I WILL DO IT FOR YOU !!

AS LONG AS I KNOW I AM NOT A BUMB IN YOUR EYES I AM COOL AS YOU!!

MOMMY:THAT’S MY BOY!!


~~~~~~~


                                      PART 6

HI TATY ITS YANKY

YANKELEH IM AT WORK NOW WHY ARE YOU CALLING

I WANTED TO ..

APOLOGIZE OF COUSRE!! RIGHT?!

YESS TATTY

RIGHT?!

YESS TATTY YES

I AM CALLING YOU TO SAY I AM SORRY

ALSO..

WHAT ALSO?? FIRST SAY YOU ARE SORRY!!

TATTY I REALLY AM SOO SORRY I REALLY WANT TO MAKE UP SORRY

YOU KNOW ITS NOT EASY TO MAKE UP

I KNOW.. BUT I AM STILL SORRY

YOU KNOW YOU HURT MY FEELINGS YOU KNOW??

THATS WHY I AM CALLING TO SAY I AM SORRY

AND YOU KNOW IT WAS VERY UPSETTING THAT MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD WOULD HURT ME ANDMAKE CHOIZIK OF ME AND LAUGH AT ME AND IMITATE ME AND...

TATTY I REALLY BEG YOU FOR FORGIVENESS!!

BEG? YOU NEED TO BEG? BEG?

WHY ARE YOU TREATING ME LIKE I AM A BAAL GAAVEH?

YANY BE CARFUL ARE YOU SORRY OR PLAYING GAMES???


I DONT LIKE TRICKS AND I AM IN MIDDLE OF A MEETING I DONT HAVE TIME FOR YOU .. IMEAN FOR YOUR ANTICS.. YANKY JUST GO BACK TO LEARN..
YANKY I AM LOSING MY PATIENCE..YANKY ...

YANKY..??


YANKELEH??


~~~~~~~


                                  PART 7

MOMMY!HI ITS ME YANKY I HAD A REAL LOUSY DAY TODAY MOMMY

WHY YANK?
HERES  WHAT HAPPENED I CALLED TATTY AND IT WENT KNOW WHERE I TRIED TO KEEP MY COOL BUT HE WAS JUST FLIPPING OUT

AS SOON AS I TRIED TO TALK BOOM!! MEETING BUSY CANT TALK

GUESS WHAT I DID MA?

YANK I KNOW . YOU HUNG UP ON TATTY.

HE IS VERY HURT

MAAA HE WAS NOT TALKING TO ME!!

MA ARE YOU MAD AT ME?

YANK , I CAN'T ANSWER

YANKY TONITE WE ARE HAVING A BABYSITTER .. I AM GOING OUT.. SO YOU CAN GO LEARN .. MAARIV.. GO OVER TO BABBYS HOUSE FOR A LITTLE.. I WOULD RATHER YOU NOT BE HERE

ME; THINKING GOT IT SHE NEEDS TO CALM TATTY DOWN BECAUSE OF ME  UCHHH
ME; AND I CANT HANG AROUND WITH THE BABBY SITTER BECAUSE...
ME; I CANT BABYSIT BECAUSE I AM NOT TRUSTED

GOT IT BIG TIME

MA?

YESS TZADDIK

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
OUT TO EAT IN THE CITY? WITH TATTY?

YESS TZADDIK

WHO IS BABYSITING

RUCHY SCHWARTZ .YOU DON'T KNOW HER

ME; THINKING I WILL TONITE

ME; WHAT TIME ARE YOU COMING HOME

ELEVEN THIRTY TWELVISH TWELVETHRTYISH

I TOLD HER YOU WILL COME HOME AT TENNISH SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND SHE CAN LEAVE AS  SOON AS YOU COME AND YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE AND YOU WONT BOTHER HER  ETC OK YANK?

ME; THINKING MA YOU ARET HTE BEST

YANKY ONE LAST THING

MOMMY AND TATTY REALLY LOVE YOU JUST.. TATTY.. LATELY...

MA IT'S ALL GOOD I WILL BE VERY RESPONSIBLE

MA !

WHAT YANK?

WOW YOU REALLY ARE DRESSED ..UMM  LIKE ..YOU ARE GOING SOME WHERE REAL IMPORTANT.

I AM

GOOD NITE TZADDIKL

ME; THINKING GOOD NITE YESS TZADIKKL NOT TONITE


~~~~~~~


                                PART 8

HESHY WE ARE GOING TO A REAL NICE PLACE FOR A NICE QUIET NIGHT OUT

CHANY, WHO'S IDEA IS THIS?

YA' KNOW HESHY YOU ARE UNDER SUCH STRESS MAYBE WE JUST RELAX AND ENJOY

OK OK I WILL

CHANY YOU REALLY LOOK GOOD TONIGHT

CHANY THINKING.. MAMELAH DON'T LOSE YOUR COOL WHATEVER HE SAYS
IS OK

YES HESH. I TRIED

WHERE ARE WE GOING IS IT A SURPRISE?

CHANY THINKING AGAIN.. GOOD HE IS RELAXING HE IS CALMING DOWN..

'WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE SURPRISED?"

NAH! I"M GOOD

LET'S GO TO  GRANDENE'S ITS A COOL PLACE ON THE RIVER

I MADE RESERVATIONS ITS GLATT CHASSIDSH OK HESH??

HESHY DRIVING BLACKCBERRYING .. SOUNDS.. ONE SECOND YEAH SOUNDS GOOD

QUIET.. QUIET..

OK THE GPS SAYS WERE HERE

HESHY ONE FAVOR..PLEASE..

WHAT?

LEAVE THE BLACKBERRY IN THE CAR IT'S A SEGULAH FOR US TO HAVE FUN OK OK

SMALL TALK MENU.. ORDER,, DRINKS.. SMALL TALK.. MAIN DISH...

HESH CAN WE TALK ABOUT US FOR A FEW MINUTES

YESS

ARE YOU UPSET AT ME?

YES! NO! I MEAN WHY? WHAT? DID YOU DO SOMETHING THAT I SHOULD BE UPSET ABOUT? CHANY WHATS THE POINT HERE?

HESHY YOU SEE YOU SEEM A LITTLE UPSET AND I WAS WONDERING HOW I CAN HELP?

CHANIE YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?

YESS

YOU AND YANKELEH ARE REALLY CLOSE AND I AM VERY JEALOUS BUT IF YOU TELL HIM WHAT I TOLD YOU I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU

HESHY? CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION WITHOUT HURTING YOU?

DO WANT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BOY?

YES.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN

CHANIE!I HATE THIS BINAH MISHPACHA GARBAGE! WHY IS IT MY FAULT! ENOUGH WITH THIS SILLY PSYCHOLOGY!

HESHY.

YES.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BOY.

HE IS A CHTUZPINYAKK

HE IS UNGRATEFUL

IT'S MOMMY THIS MOMMY THAT

HE HAS BIG PROBLEMS

LIKE WHAT HESHY?

HE IS A HUGE BAAL TAAVA

HE IS INTO GIRLS MAGAZINES HE DOESN’T WATCH HIS EYES IN THE STREET. I KNOW I AM NOT PERFECT BUT HE IS IN YESHIVAH HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER

HOW HESHY?

HE NEEDS TO KNOW. HE SHOULD BE AN EHRLICHER BOY AND NOT SO ..

HESHY?

CHANIE IF YOU START TURNING THE TABLES ON ME AND SAYING THAT THE WAY I ACT OR THE THINGS I LIKE ARE .. ACCH I HATE THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION WHATS THE POINT??

HESHY?

HESHY CALM CHILL OUT . THE BOY IS A BOY HE “NEEDS” YOU MORE THAN HE “NEEDS” ME

CHANIE? YOU MEAN IT?

YESS 100%

SO WHY IS HE SOO CHUTZPADIKK

HESHY? LETS NOT GO THERE WHATEVER I SAY YOU WILL SAY IM COVERING UP

SO LETS WORK ON FOSTERING A LOVING RELATIONSHIP

YOU CAN GUIDE HIM TEACH HIM SHOW HIM

HESHY YOU ARE SO SMART AND TALENTED EVERYONE COMES TO YOU FOR ADVICE HESHY ALL YOU NEED IS ALITTLE RESOLVE!

CHANIE

YOU WIN

I WILL TRY

BUT.. IF HE CAUSES TROUBLE I WILL…

HESHY . YOU SAID YOU’LL TRY

OK OK


~~~~~~~


                                      PART 9

HI

hi

HI

___

I"M YANKY

ok

( UCCHH I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS)

ARE YOU THE THE BABY SITTER?

yes

I AM YANKY

yes you mentioned.

UM OK

( I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THIS UCHHH .. I THOUGHT GIRLS ARE FUN TO TALK TO ..AND THEY WANT TO SHMOOZE.. SHE IS LIKE TOTALLY NOT INTERSTED..UCCHH
SO MUCH FOR MY GRAND PLAN )

ARE YOU RUCHY SCHWARTZ? ( WOW I GOT A QUESTION)

yes

(LONG ANSWER TO A SHORT QUESTION OR THE OPPOSITE .. I STINK AT THIS ..UCHH)

hey

(OOOOH SHE IS TAKLING TO ME)

YESS YESSS

I don't talk to boys

(UCHH)

OH ( BLUSHING LIKE A STOP SIGN)

beside your mother said you wouldn't be here..so one of us will have to leave..OK?

UMM ( BEYOND BLUSHING I THINK I WILL VOMIT YANKIE YOU NUT!! )

UMM.. UHH.. OK I AM GOING TO MAARIV AND TO MY BABBY'S HOUSE 

ONE LAST THING ACTUALLY 2

yes

DON'T TELL MY PARENTS I WAS HERE OK? OK?

ok

ANOTHER THING

yes

SORRY I EVEN ...


OUTSIDE:

SO YANKY HAPPY WITH YOUR BIG TRY AT REBELLION UCHHH!

SO WHY DOES IT LOOK SO EXCITING?

DID I DO THE WRONG THING? YES

CAN I GET IN TROUBLE ? GOOD CHANCE

UCHHH ALL I NEED NOW IS THIS WEIRDO RUCHY SCWARTZ TO TELL TATTY  THAT I WAS TRYING .. UCHH I FEEL SICK.. MAYBE THIS WHOLE STINT  IS NOT FOR ME... MAYBE I SHOULD JUST APPLY MYSELF HARDER IN YESHIVAH... FORGET ABOUT ALL THE "SHTISSIM".. DAVEN EHRLICH.. LEARN WITH MORE HASMADAH..

SLACH LANU AVEENU KI CHATANUU.. PSS. HASHEM IT'S ME YANKIE I"M IN MIDDLE OF GETTING IN TROUBLE ..
HASHEM PLEASE MAKE SURE RUCHY SCWARTZ DOESN'T TATTLE ON ME.. PLEASE HASHEM .. I WILL GIVE IT ALL UP..

MCAHL LANU MAKLEINU .. REALLY I'M DONE WITH ALL THE "SHTISSIM' NO MORE LOOKING AT MOMMYS MAGAZINES..TATTYS BLACKBERRY..MOMMYS LAPTOP..NO MORE LIBRARY BOOKS.. I AM NOT READY TO BECOME A .. I REAALY REALLY WILL BE GOOD!!


~~~~~~~


                                PART 10

Heshy thanks I really had a good time.

Driving.blackberrying.

Ya me also wha..

Hey Chan?

Where is Yanki all night?

Umm I got a baby sitter and I told him not to stay home

He better have not SAYED HOME...

Calm Hesh calm




I'm calm ok

But if he was hanging out with that girl I will..

Heshy we had such a nice evening cmon..

Come on ? Come on ?    CALM!! GUTTIN HIMMEL                 
Yichud? Talking to girls..

In my house!

Heshy you are assuming

Ok but if I am right... boy do I have the right to...



Hi Ruchy were home where the kids good?

Yes

Ok my husband will pay you

Heshy says , One second miss babysitter .. Was Yanky here (very nasty tone)

Yy..e.ss..

HE WAS HERE WITH YOU!!

Um for a second..

DID HE TALK TO YOU??

Umm y..no..I mean

LISTEN YOUNG LADY..DID HE SAY TWO WORDS TO YOU??

Yes (frightened)

THATS IT!!!

WHERE IS HE??

Umm I will leave I must go.. You don't have to pay me (BURSTS OUT IN TEARS LOOKS TO RUN FOR THE DOOR)

NEVER COME BACK HERE YOU ..!!

I won't

Door opens in walks Yanki

YANKI YOU LITTLE CHAZIR!! OUT OUT OUT
GO HOME WITH THE GIRLFRIEND OUT!

Ta..

NO TA

Tatty..

OUT FIND ANOTHER PLACE

Tatty..

I wasn't home for..

YOU LIAR SHE TOLD ME YOU WERE ...
AND YOU SHMOOZED...
IAM NOT A FOOL.. I KNOW THESE GAMES!!
YOU CHAZIR YANKI..
AM I BLIND I WALK IN TO MY HOUSE AND I SEE A CARD ON THE TABLE..
TO: YANKI

.. HELLO ..I'm RIGHT!! YANKY WHAT'S THIS GIRL WRITING YOU CARDS??
CARDS ..SHMOOZING AND YOU COME IN AFTER I RETURN TO MAKE BELEIVE.. YOU LITTLE RASCAL

HAHA YOU TRICK DIDN'T WORK I CAUGHT YOU!!!
YANKI OUT!!
OUT!

OUT!

OUT!


~~~~~~~


                                                    PART 11

heshy heshy!!

he's our son!!

CHANI BUTT OUT!

heshy we will lose him forever lets not do this out of kaas(anger)

let's go inside close the door take a deep breath and talk it out!

WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO LOSE?!!!

heshy ! lets say you win but lets close the door and bring yankie inside

once he is in we will use your chinuch expertise I won't contradict you

OK CHANIE YOU BETTER SHUT UP OR BOTH OF YOU WILL....

DOOR CLOSES YANKIE IS SHIVERING

THE GOOD MOMMY CHANIE BREAKS THE ICE

yankie you need to talk to us ..but  this time.. tatty will run the conver..sa..

YANKIE!!!! I AM MAD!!

yankie thinking: I know

MAD!! MAD !! MAD!!

YOU ARE LUCKY YOUR PRETTY MOTHER LOVES YOU OR ...

WHAT WENT ON HERE!!?? YICHUD WITH THE BABYSITTER!! IN MY HOUSE!!

YANKIE ARE YOU A LOWLIFE

YANKIE THINKING: I WILL BE QUIET TILL HE CALMS DOWN, WHY DOES HE HATE MOMMY??, WHAT DID SHE DO??
I WILL SHOW HIM ONE DAY WHAT HE HAS IN A WIFE!! UCHH I NEED TO VOMIT.. CONTINUE DAD.. CALM..CALM..

YANKIE ARE YOU LISTENING?

YY..YESS TTATTY

GOOD

YANKIE CAN YOU ANSWER ..SOME QUESTIONS.. OK LET ME TAKE A DEEP BREATH..

WERE YOU ALONE WITH THE BABYSITTER?

NO

DID YOU TALK TO HER?

I HAD NO CONVERSATION WITH HER

SMART ALLECK TALK TALK DID YOU SAY ANY THING TO HER??

YES TATTY I HUMBLY APOLOGIZE IN MY ADOLESCENT CURIOSITY I ATTEMPTED TO GET HER TO TALK TO ME BUT I FELL FLAT ON MY FACE ..SO I LEFT THE HOUSE .. (CRYING NOW) AND... I WAS MEKABEL...

AHA!!! MOIDEH BEMIKTZAS!! AHA YOU SEE CHANIE HE IS A REAL "CHAMER_EIZEL" MY SON??!! WOW

chanie thinking.. yess your son how funny

YANKIE WHY DID THE BABYSITTER WRITE YOU A LOVE LETTER??

TA I HAVE NO IDEA YOU CAN KEEP THE LETTER AND DO WHAT YOU WISH WITH IT

I HAVE NOTHING WITH THE BABYSITTER I AM GOING TO YESHIVAH TOMORROW AND I AM FORGETTING ABOUT THIS WHOLE ISSUE IT'S ALL BEHIND ME NOW

ALL I WILL DO IS GIVE YOU NACHAS..AND I WONT GET IN YOUR WAY.. HAVE A NICE NIGHT !!

TATTY FUMING!!!

HE WENT TO HIS ROOM THAT LITTLE SNEAK!! CHANIE YOU DIDN'T HELP ME!!! YOU LEFT ME LOOKING LIKE A FOOL

heshy you said you are the expert I was quiet ..you threatened me with seperation if I get involved so I did as I was commanded I kept quiet..

heshy you can't have it both ways

I KNOW NOW I LOOK LIKE A BIG FOOL AND TOMORROW THE TWO OF YOU WILL GO FOR ICE CREAM AND CELEBRATE MY LOSERNESS!!!! I HATE MYSELF!!!! UCHHH!! I AM SUCH A BAD FATHER!!!

heshy calm down he said the truth..whats wrong alittle

ACCHH CHANIE HE WAS COVERING UP !

LOOK I HAVE A LETTER ! PROOF!!

heshy the boy gave you the letter ,obviously he has nothing to hide

i am not so curious .. read it at your ..leisure

I WILL

yanki emus''sh

your rebbi ,rabbi weinfeld called he asked me to remind you to bring in a mishnayos pesachim to class tomorrow:

rs

the babbysitter


~~~~~~~


                                                PART 12

I HATE RABBI WEINBERG

heshy are YOU in the eight grade? what did rabbi weinberg do to you?

cmon' admit it he is a great Rebbe for yanki you hate him because without knowing he toppled you little house of cards. You wanted to trap  yanki. You see he did no wrong.So now you hate Rabbi Weinberg.

I HATE HIM!!!

heshy you are acting like a sore loser

I HATE HIM!!!

my gosh he calls to remind....

SHUT UP CHANI!!!

oops

I HATE....

CHANIE: HESHY CAREFUL I CAN GET MAD TOO! DON'T MAKE ME LOSE CONTROL

UCHHHH IWASN'T GONNA SAY I HATE YOU CMON' CHANI I JUST CAN'T STAND THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS SOOOO
PERFECT AND RIGHT AND I AM A BUMBLING LOSER!! UCHHH! WAKE UP IN THE MORNING YOU ARE ALREADY GYMMED HEALTHY BREAKFAST PEFRECT MAKE UP.. WROTE NOTES FOR THE KIDS.. KISSES TO ALL THE KIDS..
DRESSED TO KILL AND ME ME ME UCHHH I AM NOT A FAT LOSER !! YOU HEAR THAT CHANI!! DO YOU HEAR!!

heshy I have a feeling were this conversation is going

AGAIN MRS PERFECT!!! DID I MARRY  A WOMAN WHO IS HUMAN OR A BARBIE DOLL THAT IS MY THIRD GRADE TEACHER UCHHH! WHEREVER I GO CHANIE THIS CHANIE THAT CHESSED THIS CHESSED THAT..
YOU ARE A BIG SHOWOFF!! UCHHHH YOU ARE A BARBIE DOLL THATS IT !! 
GEPASKENED!!
MAYBE ON YANKIS BAR-MITZVAH INITATION WE WILL WRITE..HESHY AND BARBIE FRIEDSTIEN CORDIALLY INVITE YOU...

heshy you are embarassing me! and even if i don't say so all the time "you are hurting me now"

AGAIN THE BIG FAT LOSER HESHY IS HOMER SIMPSON IS WRONG AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!!!!
UCHHHH CHANI PERFECT AND HESHY LOSER!!!

I HATE RABBI WEINBERG!!!

(CHANIE THINKING..THIS GUY IS CRACKING UP!! HE REALLY NEEDS HELP POOR RABBI WEINBERG WHAT ON EARTH DID HE DO WRONG.. WHAT DID YANKIE DO WRONG.. WHAT DID I DO WRONG

LET THE POOR GUY FALL ASLEEP .. I MUST CALL RABBI WEINBERG AND WARN HIM THIS IS DANGEROUS)

HELLO CHESKY WEINBERG SPEAKING

HI IT'S CHANIE UMM MRS FREIDSTIEN YANKIES MOTHER..SORRY SO LATE.. MY HUSBAND.. YANKIE.. THE BABYSITTER..I AM DOING THIS TO SAVE 3 PEOPLE ME YOU AND YANKIE..YES YES OF COURSE A FOURTH ,HESHY..

BUT.. YOU CAN HELP..WOW.. YOUR CELL NUMBER?.. WOW I CAN TEXT YOU ..REALLY RABBI WEINBERG THATS SO NICE OF YOU..KEEP AN EYE ON MY BOY HE IS MY LIFE..I SEE YOU UNDERSTAND.
BYE!


~~~~~~~


                              PART 13

HESHY: YANKI I AM PICKING YOU UP FROM YESHIVAH TODAY

YANKI: UCHH

HESHY: WHY'S THAT?

YANKI: MY REBBE...

HESHY: YOUR REBBI RABBI WEINBERG WHAT’S THE MATTER YOU HATE HIM??

YANKI: NO HE’S A GOOD REBBI JUST…UCHH FORGET IT...

HESHY: YOUR REBBE WHAT? UR REBBE WHAT? UR REBBE WHAT?

TELL ME OR.....

YANKI: IT’S WEIRD

HESHY: NO! YOU ARE WEIRD TELL ME NOW!!

YANKI: NO MY REBBE IS NICE BUT SOMETHING IS WEIRD


YANKI: TA IF COME TO PICK ME UP UMM ..JUST DON'T COME WITH MOMMY

HESHY: THINKING OOOH THIS BOY IS IN MY COURT NOW ONE LITTLE POINT FOR TEAM HESHY



HESHY : OK YANKI I WILL DRIVE U TO CHIEDER

YANKI: THINKING SHEHECHIYANU

HESHY: WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH RABBI WEINBERG?

YANKI: TA MY REBBE IS VERY BUSY WITH TALKING ABOUT MOMMY

HESHY: TO YOU OR TO THE CLASS?

YANKI: IN CLASS HE SAYS “THE IMAHOS WERE VERY PRETTY AND WERE BIG

TZADEKESES” THEN HE TURNS TO ME AND SAYS “YANKEHLEH DEE FARSHTIEST”

(YANKI YOU UNDERSTAND) I FEEL HE IS MAKING CHOIZIK OR MAYBE NOT I AM

CONFUSED..

I HATE GETTING COMMENTS ABOUT HOW MOMMY DRESSES.

OK TA I BLURTED IT OUT THAT’S WHAT IS ON MY 12 YEAR OLD MIND..

NOTHING TO DO WITH REBBI OR YOU OR MOMMY ..

ME ME ME  I’M JUST CONFUSED


THEN WHEN MOMMY COMES TO PICK ME UP HE IS SO FRIENDLY

HE LOOKS AT HER AND...UCHH TA I HATE BEING THE WEIRDO IN MY CLASS 
HOW COME...FORGET IT

HESHY: WHAT A PIG!  WHY'S HE LOOKING AT UR MOTHER!!


HESHY: THINKING WAIT UNTIL I MEET UP WITH THIS PIG/REBBE I WILL GIVE HIM A PIECE OF MY MIND AND HAVE HIM FIRED

YANKI: TA MY REBBE ONCE EVEN TOLD ME THAT I HAVE A VERY SPECIAL MOTHER
TA I KNOW SHE IS THE BEST. YOU ALSO THINK SO RIGHT?RIGHT?

I JUST WHATEVER...UCHH...I AM SO MIXED UP..

HESHY : I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS (FUMING) I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!

YANKI: TA ARE YOU GONNA TALK TO ME EVER? EVER ??

TATTY I AM SO CONFUSED..

HELP ME.. UNDERSTAND WHAT’S RIGHT AND WRONG TA I NEED YOUR HELP!!!

HESHY: I'M GONNA KILL THE GUY

YANKI: I AM TALKING TO YOU!! LIKE SCHMOOZE CAN WE TALK ABOUT LIFE!!

HESHY; I AM !!!!!!!!!!YANKI!! I WILL KILL RABBI WEINBERG


~~~~~~~


                                          PART 14


Hi!

Oh rabbi weinberg

That is so nice of you to call

Good he is such a good boy

I'm glad someone other than me sees it

My husband?

Nach no way

Very old school very tough

Yup

Yupp

Rabbi Wienberg that's soo kind of you

Very very. Hard.

Its tough

Yankie is the reason I wake up in the morning.mamaesh sunshine..

That's right a regular boy

Hey I'm soo not worried

big deal

Ha ha ha

I don't know if it is ok if I tell you

You are really someting

Ok

Ok

No way

Cool

Just cool

Me?totally regular

Heshy? He's very confused

Misguided.. Wants to be born again

Ohh you know the type


Yupp.. frum on the kids
Frie on the wife

Yess frie!!

He wishes I was...

You know its not for the phone

PTA??

Wow!

Ok ill see you
Then

Thanks tunzzz

Really

Ok

No problem

Any time!

Bye


~~~~~~~


                                          PART 15




HESHY, I SEE YOU ARE VERY EXCITED TODAY..AHH I AM SO GLAD

CHANI,I DECIDE I NEED TO GET MORE INVOLVED IN YANKIS LIFE

HESH! THAT’S FANTASTIC! GREATT! MY DREAM COME TRUE!!

OK HESHY THERE IS SO MUCH WE  CAN DO..  WE CAN PLAN HIS BAR MITZVAH..WE CAN TAKE HIM OUT FOR A SUPPER WE CAN..

CHANI! I THINK THAT WE WILL START WITH CHINUCH ORIENTED PROJECTS.

UH.OH! I MEAN UH..OK. (VERRY SLOW OK)

L.LIKE LIKE  W..WHAT’S THE IDEA HESHY?

VERY SIMPLE. I WILL GO TO HIS PTA AND SPEAK TO HIS REBBI LIKE EVERY OTHER FATHER IN THE CLASS!!

AH HA!

HESHY! THAT’S REALLY A GREAT IDEA WE WILL GO TOGETHER YOU WILL SEE WHAT A COOL I MEAN … FANTASTIC REBBE OUR SON HAS

CHANI THE IDEA I WAS THINKING OF WAS I WILL GO ALONE AND YOU WILL STAY HOME.. OR GO TO THE GYM ..OR SHOPPING..OR PLAN HESHYS BAR MITZVAH OR TAKE HIM OUT FOR SUPPER ,ALL THE OTHER THINGS YOU MENTIONED BEFORE

HESHY HESHY IN ALL DUE RESPECT ALL THE YEARS I WENT TO PTA ALONE LIKE A “CHOIZIK” NOW WE CAN FINALLY GO TOGETHER..
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS??

WHY?WHY? WHY DO YOU NEED TO GO?

I WANT TO MEET HIS REBBE!

WHY?

BECAUSE IT’S MY RESPONSIBILITY AS A PARENT!

AM I NOT A PARENT?? NOOO??

YOU ARE.

BUT!BUT!

BUT WHAT? WHAT?

I ALWAYS GO!

NOT THIS TIME!

HESHY I AM NOT A LITTLE GIRL. I ALWAYS GIVE YOU LATITUDE AND FREEDOM . I NEVER HELD YOU BACK FROM ANYTHING. I ALWAYS DID WHAT “YOU” WANTED AND WE HAD AN AGREEMENT.. CHINUCH IS THE MOTHERS DEPARTMENT.. I STOOD LIKE A FOOL ALL THE YEARS AT PTA AT SIYUMS . I DROVE HIM TO ALL TRIPS..ALL ACTIVITIES EVERYTHING NOW..NOW.. BURICH HABOOO HESHY IS DOOO!!

CHANI! WOW I SQUEAKED SOME EMOTION OUT OF BARBIE DOLL WOW YOU REALLY DO GET MAD!

I’M NOT MAD .I”M HURT.

HURT , SHMURT.. YOU ARE NOT COMING

YES I AM!! WE CAN GO SEPARATE BUT I AM INVOLVED IN EVERY ASPECT OF YANKIS CHINUCH..BARBIE DOLL YOU CALL ME..TELL ME HOW MANY BARBIE DOLL CHAZER GEMARA FROM AN ARTSCROLL SHAS..BARBIE DOLL..YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE BEING THE ONLY WOMAN AT A FATHER SON MELAVA MALKA.. AH VEEE IS DE TATTEH?? OY ERR SHPEERT ZICH NISHT GITT..OYY NEBECH ..NU AZOI VE LETZTER YOOR..YUH MRS.FREIDSTIEN EIR KEN SHTAYN BEI DEE TEER.. SORRY.

CHANI CHANI YOU ARE HURTING ME WITH THE FACTS.

SORRY.

CHANI WE WILL  GO TOGETHER          BUT..          BUT..

YES HESHY .
BUT, I SHOULD KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT..
BUT, I SHOULNDT SMILE
BUT, I SHOULD WEAR THE OLDEST SHAITEL I OWN,
BUT, I SHOULD MAKE YOU LOOK IMPORTANT AND INVOLVED..

CHANI! YOU ARE A MIND READER!

YES I AM!!! NOT BAD FOR A BARBIE DOLL!!


~~~~~~~


                                                      PART 16      THE PTA

SHALOM ALEICHEM I’M YANKI FREIDSTIENS FATHER HESHY FREIDSTIEN

REBBE HOW IS MY SON DOING?

OK.

OK.

REBBE ,WHY DO YOU ASK ME “IF I CHAZZZER WITH HIM”?

OK.

HEY I’M  NOT THE STUDENT HE IS.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND!

IS THIS PTA ABOUT MY SON ,YOUR STUDENT OR ABOUT ME ??

I AM CALM. IT’S LIKE I COME HERE TO DO MY PARENTAL DUTY AND I AM INTERROGATED!

I AM GETTING A LITTLE FRUSTRATED

OK

OK

RABBI WEINFELD  IN ALL DUE RESPECT LET’S TALK THIS LIKE TWO MEN ,PLEASE LEAVE MY WIFE OUT OF THE  PICTURE

YES SHE IS HERE

YES HER OPINION COUNTS

SO WHY DO YOU KEEP ON MENTIONING HER??

WHAT!! ME AGAIN ME !

HEY RABBI, YOU ARE MAKING ME THE TOPIC AGAIN!!

LAST CHANCE ,HOW -IS -YANKI- DOING- IN -SCHOOL??
CAN YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT ME, MY WIFE ,MY MIDDOS ,
MY WIFES OPINION,PLAIN YANKI PLAIN ANSWER!!



OK YOU ARE SAYING HE CAN DO BETTER,OK I UNDERSTAND.

NOW FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! WHY IN HEAVANS NAME EVERYTHING  MY FAULT?? WHY?? WHY??
AT HOME EVERYTHING IS GREAT UNTIL TATTY SHOWS UP.
MY WIFE IS THE HAPPIEST MOST POPULAR PERSON TILL I GET HOME.
AT WORK IN SHUL.. AM I A MUKKE SH-CHIN??

OK

I WILL CALM DOWN ,YOUR SOFT MANNER OF SPEECH IS VERY DISTURBING..BUT OUT OF RESPECT TO YOUR POSITION I”LL LISTEN..

VERY INTERESTING.. VERY INTERESTING..HMMM..OK OK

AH HAH OK!

I HEAR CLEARLY.YES. VERY CLEARLY. YES I AM SOME SICKO.GOT IT

I KNOW YOU DIDN’T USE THOSE WORDS ..I KNOW I’M SAYING IT MY WAY.

YANKI STINKS IN SCHOOL BECAUSE HIS FATHER IS HORRRRRIBLE!! 10-4.



RABBI CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION OR TWO?

CHAN-N-N-I YOU WILL HAVE A CHANCE IN A SECOND.

REBBI WEINFELD ALL THIS THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT ME.. THIS WHOLE STORY YOU SO NICELY PUT TOGETHER ALL THIS YOU GOT FROM MY SON?

AHA ALL THIS FROM A TWELVE YEAR OLD? ALL THIS DEEP PSYCHOLOGY?
AND ALL THE DETAILS FROM MY SON?

RABBI ARE YOU SURE?

OH... YOU DO SPEAK TO MY WIFE ON OCCASION.

LIKE ONCE A MONTH? ONCE A WEEK? ONCE A DAY?

WHAT DOES ONCE IN A WHILE MEAN?? BE SPECIFIC.

CHANI SHUT UP!! YOU PROMISED YOU WILL NOT TALK

RABBI ,YOU HAVE NO NEED TO ANSWER THE QUESTION.. I KNOW THE ANSWER.

IS YOUR FIRST NAME CHESKY??

YOU LOST YOUR TOUNGE?? MY GOSH WHEN I GOT A MUSSAR SHMOOZE FROM YOU 5 MINUTES AGO YOU WERE A WORDSMITH.

YES THIS IS MY WIFES PHONE. YUP A PINK ENVY.

YUP YOU TALK WITH HER EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!
                                                   

WOW YANKI MUST REALLY BE A PROBLEM

CHANI QUIET!!!

I SAID QUIET!!

RABBI WIENFELD I ASK YOU AM I ANY SICKER THAN YOU??

MAYBE BARBIE DOLL CAN HELP YOU WITH THE ANSWER


~~~~~~


                                          PART 17


HARRY HAS A WEIRD SMILE ON HIS LIPS HE IS OBVIOUSLY SAVORING EVERY SECOND OF HIS VICTORY.

THEY ARE DRIVING HOME CHANIE WANTS TO DIE AND BE BURIED.

'CHANIE DEAREST SO YOU ENJOYED PTA'?

HESHY I CAN’T TALK

I WONDER WHY DEAREST?

HESHY MY LIFE IS OVER

OH CHANIE YOU WONT START PLAYING VICTIM NOW!

MY LIFE IS OVER

CHANIE I AM THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE CRYING AND MAD.

MY LIFE IS OVER

CHANIE DEAR YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS

I THINK YOU HAVE A LITTLE EXPLAINING TO DO, NO CHANIE?

HESHY ,BARBIE DOLLS ARE NOTHING THEY ARE PLASTIC FAKE TOYS,DON’T WORRY ABOUT BROKEN TOYS.

CHANIE YOU KNOW WHEN YOU TAKE THIS HIGH ROAD I’M OUT. I SHOULD BE SCREAMING LIKE A LUNATIC,I SHOULD BE THREATENING YOU.I COULD TAKE THIS VERY FAR.

HESHY MY LIFE IS OVER

IS THAT AN ADMISSION,CHANIE

HESHY, YOU CAN DO AND SAY WHAT YOU PLEASE YOU CAN BE THE JUBILANT VICTOR, YOU CAN PUNISH ME ,YOU CAN THROW ME TO THE DOGS ,DO WHATEVER YOU PLEASE, WHATEVER FITS YOUR WHIM, JUST ONE LAST THING,..

WHAT’S THAT?

DON’T THROW OUT THE BABY WITH THE BATHWATER

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

DON’T PUNISH YANKI BECAUSE YOU HATE ME!!

OOOOOH! HATE YOU ! HATE YOU!! CHANIE YOU ARE ANGERING ME BEYOND MY POINT OF  SELF-CONTROL!!
SORRY I AM A ROTTEN BARBIE DOLL!!

CHANIE YOU KNOW WHAT??

I AM MAD YOU ARE MAD WHY DON’T I DROP YOU OFF AT HOME AND I WILL GO TO THE OFFICE TO BLOW SOME STEAM, WE WILL BE IN A BETTER SITUATION THAT WAY.

HESHY WHAT EVER PLEASE YOU!

G’NIGHT

KNOCK KNOCK..

YANKI OPEN YOUR DOOR I NEED TO TALK TO YOU! YANKI IT’S MOMMY I NEED YOUR HELP!YANKI PLEASE COME OUT OF YOUR ROOM.

BANG BANG! YANKI DID YOU FALL ASLEEP IN THERE? YANKI !! YANKI!! I NEED YOUR HELP NOW!! YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON LEFT IN THE WORLD THAT I TRUST!!

YANKI IF YOU DON’T OPEN UP I WILL OPEN THE DOOR WITH THE MASTER KEY!

YANKI.. YANKI.. YANKI..

GONE.. GONE… GONE..

“ HE RAN AWAY!!!”

“POOR BOY”

CHANIE OPENS THE WINDOWS AND SCREAMS INTO THE WIND “YANKI WHEREVER YOU ARE YOU HAVE A MOTHER THAT LOVES YOU SHE WIL LTURN THE WORLD OVER TO FIND YOU!!

I NEED HELP!!

OK I WILL CONTROL MYSELF

IF I CALL RABBI WEINFELD I AM BEYOND DEATH.. IF I CALL HESHY HE WONT BELIEVE ME..

TOO BAD HE IS THE BOY’S FATHER THIS IS AN EMERGENCY WE WILL BOTH BLOW STEAM ANOTHER TIME!!

DIALING CELL..RING

HESHY: CALLER ID HOME HESHY: IGNORE  HESHY: CALLER ID HOME HESHY: IGNORE  HESHY: CALLER ID HOME HESHY: IGNORE

OK I’LL  SEND HIM A TEXT

UCHHHHH UCHHHH HE HAS MY CELL PHONE!!!

HELP ME HASHEM!

OK ILL SEND HIM AN EMAIL..

FROM MY COMPUTER OR HIS ..WELL MY COMPUTER HE WILL IGNORE.. SO I WILL SEND HIM AN EMAIL FROM HIS COMPUTER..

LET ME SEE..I THINK I CAN DIE FIR THE SECOND TIME TONIGHT..IS THIS REAL.. MY HUSBAND..

I AM GOING TO SNAP.THIS IS IT .. I AM LIVING WITH THE WORST PIECE OF GARBAGE ..

I AM FAINTIN……………………….


~~~~~~~


                                    PART 18

REBBI WEINBERG ESCORTS THE FREIDSTIENS TO THE DOOR .HE PUTS A SMALL NOTE ON THE CLASSROOM DOOR SAYING HE IS SORRY HE CAN NO LONGER MEET PARENTS TONITE DUE TO UNFORSEEN REASONS.THE PARENTS IN THE HALLWAY LOOK VERY UPSET.

TOO BAD ,HE THINKS.. I AM IN HOT WATER

HE LOCKS THE DOOR.

HE PUTS HIS HEAD DOWN ON HIS DESK

RABBI WEINFELD BEGINS TO CRY.. AND CRY..

WHAT A ROTTEN GUY WHAT A PIECE OF TRASH..THAT HESHY FRIEDSTIEN

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??

WHY DID I EVER TRY TO HELP OUT THAT YANKI KID??

KIDS ARE DANGEROUS

PARENTS ARE EVEN MORE DANGEROUS

PARENTS THAT DON’T GET ALONG ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS!!

WHY DID I EVER TAKE THAT WOMAN’S PHONE CALL??

AM I CRAZY??

I NEVER TAKE PHONE CALLS FROM PARENTS ON MY CELL..I MAKE ONE EXCEPTION BOOOOOM!!!

DID I NEED TO LOSE MY CAREER? MY FAMILY? MY STATURE?

CRY. CRY… CRY..

WHO CAN HELP ME?? MRS.FREIDSTIEN ?? FUGGEDABOUTIT!! SHE IS “TOAST” I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED IF THAT MONSTER MURDERS HER TONIGHT..


CRY. CRY… CRY..

I DID NOTHING..FRAMED..DUPED..SLANDERED..RUINED..
WHO KNOWS THE TRUTH??!!

CHANI FRIEDSTIEN? YES! BUT …

THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP ME IS YANKI!

I NEED THAT KID NOW ! HE CAN HELP ME!

CRY. CRY… CRY..

OK I NEED TO GRAB HOLD OF MYSELF ..AND IF I ACT LIKE A “SICKO” PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE IT.

OK

LETS GO AND FACE THE MUSIC

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

RABBI WIENFELD STANDS UP LOOKS AROUND HIS CLASSROOM WHERE HE TAUGHT FOR THE PAST SEVEN YEARS
HE LOVINGLY LOOKS AT THE CLASS PICTURES..
HE LOOKS AT ALL THE EMPTY DESKS OF HIS TALMIDIM HE SO MUCH LOVES AND CARES ABOUT.
HE LOOKS AT THE DESK OF YANKI.
OY THAT BOY HOW I WISH I COULD STRAIGHTEN OUT HIS HARD LIFE.
OY THE PRINCIPAL WARNED ME
“KEEP AWAY FROM THE TATTEH” ..HE IS A BISSEL A PARSHA..
“ THE MOTHER IS REALLY A HIDDEN TZADEKES” ..
“NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE”..
OY WHY DO I OVERDO IT..
WHY CANT I JUST PUNCH THE CLOCK..
TEACH AND LEAVE..

RABBI WEINFELD HEADS TO THE CLOSET. TO GET HIS HAT AND COAT..DRIVES HOME

AS RABBI WEINFELD PULLS UP TO HIS SMALL HOUSE HE SEES SOMETHING WEIRD

IT LOOKS LIKE A BAG ON HIS FRONT PORCH

RABBI WEINFELD WHO IS DRAINED FROM THE EVENINGS EVENTS HAS NO STRENGTH FOR ADDITIONAL MYSTERIES

HE GRABS A SMALL FLASH LIGHT FROM HIS GLOVE COMPARTMENT..
HE TIP TOES OP THE STAIRS

HE SHINES THE LIGHT ON THE BAG…COULD IT BE…
YIKES!!! IT’S A PERSON!!

HEY! YOU! HE SHOUTS!

RABBI WEINFELD IS FRIGHTENED

THE PERSON RAISES HIS HEAD AND SCREAMS OUT…

“REBBI!! SAVE ME!!

YANKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE IN MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT??

YOU WHERE HERE THE WHOLE TIME??

YANKI!!!!!!

HOW CAN YOU SCARE ME LIKE THIS??

REBBBI SAVE ME!!

YANKI  YOUR PARENTS ARE PROBABLY SCARED SICK???

REBBI I NEED YOUR HELP!!

YANKI!! ITS TOO DANGEROUS!

REBBI I NEED YOUR HELP!!

YANKI!! ITS TOO DANGEROUS!

REBBI BE “MOSER NEFESH” FOR ME I HAVE NO-WHERE TO GO!!


YANKI I THINK I AM IN MORE TROUBLE THAN YOU.

REBBI I WILL SAVE YOU.

HOW YANKI??

I WILL.REBBI YOU SAVE ME  I WILL SAVE YOU.

YANKI YOU KNOW I AM DESPERATE..

REBBI TAKE ME IN TO YOUR HOUSE..PLEASE..PLEASE..

YANKI YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, I WILL GET KILLED IF I DO.

REBBI BY WHO?

UMMM UMMM YOUR FATHER!

REBBI I CANT GO HOME TO HIM

EH WHY NOT YANKI?

HE IS A REAL SICKO!! I WENT ON HIS COMPUTER TONITE UCHHHHH REBBI HASHEM HATES ME .. I AM WORSE THAN A GOY!! I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEARN TORAH..MY EYES AND MIND SAW TOO MUCH GARBAGE. IT’S ALL MY FATHERS FAULT.. HIS SILLY LAPTOP..HIS TOY..IT’S LOADED GUN..REBBI HELP ME…I FEEL SOOO HORRIBLE SOO GUILTY..I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO HIM


YANKI ZEESEH YANKI TRUST ME I ‘WANT’ TO HELP BUT…IF YOU COME IN MY HOUSE WE WILL BOTH GET KILLED..AND MAYBE YOUR MOTHER TOO..

OY GEVALDDD REBBI MY MOTHER IS PROBABLY SICK WHERE I AM REBBI PLEASE GIVE AN “EITZAH”

YANKI CALL YOUR MOTHER TO MEET YOU AT THE SHUL NEAR MY HOUSE.

REBBI WHY CAN’T YOU TAKE ME IN

YANKI I..I..I.. JUST CAN’T PLEASE TRUST ME PLEASE TRUST ME .I LOVE YOU AND FEEL FOR YOU. HERE YANKI TAKE MY PHONE AND CALL YOUR MOTHER..

YANKI!! WAIT!!

WHATT REBBI?

CALL THE HOUSE NOT THE CELL!!

WHAT REBBI!! I DIDN’T HEAR YOU..ITS RINGING ALREADY!DONT WORRY!IT'S RINGING.


~~~~~


      PART 19

Heshy..Heshy..Heshy
The man of so much promise..the delight of his parents..the public speaker..the helpful friend..talented..opinionated..success story..

Oy what the future could have held

Life was so calm...
Until...he lost some money... And made it back rather quickly...oy where those meant to be happy days..

But..everything changed for me..I was no longer "only"his wife he would explain.. I was the image of his success..we needed to project the "correct" image..

Out with the old in with the new..he would ask "don't you love all your new stuff"? I would giggle and say "what was wrong with the way I was when we got engaged married learned in kollel"??


He would say Chani I'm not a little boy any more..ride along with me and you will enjoy life..

But..our kids?? The mixed messages??they he would retort. Will be better off with happy parents ..

Everything he did was always right.Every Rov and authority was always wrong.. 

Then came the late nights the leaving his family high and dry..oh the apology gifts..the clothes..the perfumes..the fling trips..The phoney hellos and cynical goodbyes..

What was gained ?? a wife who shares a name with a Mattel product.a son he didn't raise or know.

Oh what was I to do?
Leave?he would fight for his kids..not that he wanted them..but Heshy Freidstien ...

So I played the part and I raised my son my life my tzaddik to be as normal as possible..endured the shame of being the. "Shiksa" of my family..the hurt the humiliation...

What do I get in return..Heshy is addicted to p*#n great me chani now has new compotition..uh uh games over ...

MOMMY MOMMY!!!

Whaa whaa???

Where am I???

Esti(my 6 year old)
Why you out of bed??

MOMMY WHY ARE YOU ON THE FLOOR?? ARE YOU FEELING SICK??

Esti mameleh go shluffy mommys never get sick!

Chani friedstien if you collapse now you will lose it all

Hey I am talking to myself..ok.. Let's find yanki..let's help heshy..let's live happily ever after..sweet dreams.

First things first
Tell Heshy Yanki is gone..

Let's Roll light cameras ACTION!!!


~~~~~~~


                                  PART 20

phone calls

phone calls

why is she bothering me

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!LET ME VENT!!!LET ME BE ALONE WITH MY COMPUTER I NEED TO EASE MY PAIN!!

another phone call

now she is calling the office


LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! I AM UPSET I NEED TO ESCAPE  IN MY COMPUTER WHEN I AM UNDER STRESS I NEED THIS OUTLET I JUST NEED IT NOW I NEED IT!! IT'S NOT GOOD IT'S NOT BAD
NOW I AM IN ACAPE MODE..I NEED HER TO STOP BOTHERING ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH SHE IS GETTING SMART NOW SHE E-MAILING ME

HA HA HA SHE IS SSSSSSOOOOOOOOO DESPERATE I LOVE IT!!!GOOD CHANI SWEAT IT OUT A LITTLE



DEAR HESHY

ITS AN EMERGENCY PLEASE CALL ME!! HESHY I SWEAR IT'S AN EMERGENCY!! HESHY DO NOT IGNORE ME!!
HESHY COME HOME NOW!!
[/i]



HA HA HA HA HA !!!

SHE IS SO SILLY GET ME HOME WITH 10TH GRADE TACTICS

HA HA HA !!!!

HEY ONE SECOND !! THE JOKE IS ON ME !! HEY SHE IS ON MY COMPUTER !!! HEY HOW DID SHE GET THE PASSWORD!!
HELP!!! I A DIEING!! HELP!! I WAS CAUGHT!!! SHE BUSTED ME!!!! HEYYYYY!!! HOW DID SHE GET THAT PASSWORD!!!
IT MUST OF BEEN THAT LITTLE SNEAK YANKI!! HE MUST OF OPENED MY COMPUTER!!! THEY ARE BOTH DEAD!DEAD! DEAD!!

OH MY GOSH!! THEY KNOW WHO I REALLY AM!!! I AM GONE!!!!  A CAN KILL MYSELF!!!!!   

    UCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

ring ring!! my cell phone again? no! hey it is some one elses ringer!  oh it's chanie's phone.I forgot I had stolen it from her Prada Pocket book...

HEY THE 'SICKO' IS CALLING HER AGAIN.. CHESKY WEINFELD .. OK I MAY BE ADDICTED TO COMPUTERS AND BIG DEAL I AM A REGULAR WORKING PERSON HE IS A "REBBI" AND HE IS CHASING MY WIFE!! AND LOOK HE WAS CAUGHT RED-HANDED AND..HE CAN'T CONTROL HIMSELF.. HEY THIS GUY MAKES ME LOOK GOOD

HE WILL GET IT NOW LET'S ROLL HARRY!!!HA HA HAA

Harry's Son

By: Bardichev

Volume 2



                                                              PART 21

YOU SICKO!!YOU SICkO!!!
YOU THINK IM NUTS!!
OK I AM NUT!!!
DO YOU HEAR ME!!!!

YOU GOT ME..YOU..REBBI..YOU..I HATE YOU...I WISH ...I..COULD..KILL..YOU..

YOU ARE A HORRIBLE FAKER YOU LOOK INNOCENT YOU ARE A LOW LIFE...YOU RUINED MY LIFE..MY MARRIAGE ...MY KIDS..

I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN..I WILL DESTROY YOU...

UCCCCHHHHHHH!!!

*dead silence*

HELLOOOO SAY SOMETHING!!

T..Ta.Tatty

WHO IS THAT ON THE PHONE??

Yyy...anki ...where is Mommy?

WHY ARE YOU ON CHESKY WEIFELDS PHONE??

I am by his house

WHY?

I ran away from ...

FROM WHO???

You Tatty.

WHY? WHY???

Cmon Ta! You know..

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR REBBI LIVES??

Ta I am a "ben bayis"by him.

WHAT??? ARE YOU CRAZY!!

TAAA!! Who do you think I learn with every night? Who helps me for my bar mitzvah? Who gives me supper some nights?or takes me bowling?who? You?? No..
Who let's me  use his phone to call Mommy to pick me up?and if she can't who drives me home??

WHAT??YOU USE YOUR REBBIS PHONE? UCHHHHHH
I WILLLLLL KILLLLL.....
MYSELF!!!!

YANKI GOODBYE!!

Ta?
Ta?


~~~~~~~


PART22

OK CHAN IT’S HESHY I REALIZE THERE IS AN EMERGENCY.

HESHY HESHY HESHY I AM DYING WE NEED TO FIND THE BOY!

CHANI.

HESHY IT’S SERIOUS I DIDN’T MAKE THIS UP!

CHANI.

HESHY HELP ME ..I MEAN US ..OUR YANKI!!

CHANI.. I KNOW WHERE HE IS.

YOU DO?? YOU DO??SO GET HIM!! FAST!! MY YANKI*SOBBING* I MEAN OUR  YANKI*SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY*

CHANI CHANI ..I AM AFRAID I CAN NOT GET HIM …

WHY WHY HESHY IT’S OUR SON *SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY*

CHANI IT’S TOO LATE

LATE FOR WHAT?HESHY TO SAVE OUR BOY??

CHANI CHANI I AM NOT VERY COMFORTABLE SAYING THIS  BUT I THINK I WILL NEVER BE A FATHER TO YANKI ANY MORE

WHAT KIND OF SILLY STUFF ARE YOU SAYING HESHY??

CHANI I AM READY TO DIE!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!! STOPPPPPPP NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

CHANI I AM READY TO DIE!

HELP HESHY WHERE ARE YOU,OH IN YOUR OFFICE OF COURSE I AM COMING RIGHT NOW TO SEE YOU STAY ON THE PHONE..UCCHH I DON’T HAVE A CELL PHONE.. HESHY I AM COMING TO YOU NOW!!

CHANIE IT’S TOO LATE I AM DONE

HESHY THERE IS A FUTURE

CHANI I KNOW YOU ARE BEING NICE TO NOW ‘CAUSE I WAS CAUGHT RED HANDED..I KNOW YOU WILL ONLY TRY AND FIND OUT FROM ME WHERE YANKI IS .. YOU WILL RUN AND SAVE HIM.. YOU WILL BRING HIM HOME..YOU WILL LET ME KILL MYSELF.. YOU WILL MARRY SOME MOVIE STAR..WITH ALL THE MONEY CLOTHES AND FAME I BOUGHT YOU..RIGHT CHANIE ?? RIGHT?? WHY WOULD YOU CARE ?

*CHANIE THINKING .. EITHER YOU HIT HIM HARD..OR PLAY HIS LITTLE GAME*

CHANIE  YOU’RE  STUMPED AHA ! YOU DON’T GIVE A HOOT ABOUT ME!!

*CHANIE BE A BIG GIRL AND HIT HIM HARD!!!!!*

HESHY OR SHOULD I CALL YOU SNOOKER11219?

WHAA?? HOW DO YOU KNOW??

YEAH MR SNOOKER11219,LISTEN UP WHY DO YOU CALL ME NOW ‘CAUSE YOUR IN TROUBLE??HUH?
LISTEN SNOOKERFACE, YOU CAN CALL A WHOLE LIST OF PEOPLE.. WHO SHOULD I START WITH.. I HAVE A WHOLE LIST HERE. SHOULD WE GO IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER ..OR BY MOST VISITED..
SNOOKERMAN I MAY BE BARBIE DOLL IN YOU EYES BUT IF YOU WANNA HAVE IT BOTH WAYS ..YOU CAN FUGGEDABOUTIT!!!!!!

CHANIE IF I KILL MYSELF ITS YOUR FAULT!!!NOT THAT YOU CARE!!!!

YEAH A BUNCH OF VIRTUAL GIRLFRIENDS CAN SIT SHIVA FOR YOU BIG SHVITTTZER!!
I AM WILLING TO LOOK AWAY BUT IF ARE STILL PLAYING GAMES I WILL FIND THE BOY ON MY OWN AND GOOOOOOOD RIDDANCE.!!!

BARBIE DOLL, YOU WANNA FIGHT? I KNOW WHERE THE BOY IS WE WILL BOTH BE OUT OF THE COUNTRY BY SUNRISE!! YOU HEAR BARBIE DOLL!!
YOU CAN GO CRY TO TATTY  TO ALL YOUR CHESKYS…                            YOU CAN WRITE ARTICLES ABOUT ME ..YOU CAN EVEN CALL A PARTY PLANNER TO HOST YOU A PARLOR MEETING  FOR THE PRETTY AGUNAH!! GET LOST!!

*CHANIE THINKING ..*

HESHY! THE BOY IS HOME WITH ME!

YOU FAT LIAR!!CHANIE

COME PROVE ME WRONG..SNOOKERFACE.. BARBIE DOLL IS NOT YOUR TOY ANY MORE!!


~~~~~~~


                                  PART 23

REBBI REBBI WHATS GOING ON WHAT WAS HE SAYING??
REBBI DID HE GO MAD??
HE HAS A TEMPER ..BUT THIS TIME HE SOUNDED MORE  SERIOUS.
YES REBBI HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF!!
REBBI WHAT DID I DO ?? WHY IS MY LIFE SUCH A MESS??
I AM A REGULAR 12 YEAR OLD KID!!WHY WAS HE SCREAMING THAT HE WANTS TO KILL ME?? REBBI WHATS GOING ON??
REBBI TATTY NEVER EVER EVER ANSWERS MY MOMMYS CELLPHONE.NEVERR
HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH HER.
ALL HE CARES ABOUT IS HIS LITTLE ROOM WITH HIS COMPUTER AND THAT I CANT GO INTO THAT ROOM!
ALL HE DOES IS COME HOME LATE FROM WORK EAT A LITTLE AND SAYS “I HAVE WORK TO FINISH”
I SAY TA COULD WE LEARN? HE SAYS WHAT YOUR REBBI DIDN’T TEACH YOU ?
AND OFF TO HIS ROOM.SO REBBI TONIGHT I WENT INO HIS ROOM AND I FOUND OUT WHAT HIS UN-FINISHED BUSINESS IS..

YANKI IT’S ALL OK NO ONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOU

SO WHY CAN’T YOU LET ME LIVE IN YOUR HOUSE,REBBI?

YANKI LIFE IS TRICKY, PEOPLE ARE CRAZED, WICKED AND MEAN, I WISH I CAN HELP YOU…

REBBI? WHY ARE YOU CRYING?

YANKI BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO ??

REBBI WHERE ARE MY PARENTS NOW??

YANKI I DON’T KNOW.

REBBI I THINK I WILL JUST STAY IN SHUL FOR THE NIGHT.

NO.YANKI  I WILL HAVE MY WIFE DRIVE YOU HOME.I CAN’T IT IS TOO DANGEROUS . I AM AFRAID TO MEET ANYONE NOW..

REBBI WHAT IF ?

YANKI REBBI LOVES YOU JUST GET IN THE CAR ,SHE WILL MAKE SURE YOU GET HOME. BYE. SEE YOU IN YESHIVAH .HOPEFULLY.

YANKI RIDES HOME WITH MRS WIENFELD, RABBI WIENFELD CLOSES HIS DOOR AND …

“POLICE OPEN THE DOOR!”

WHAAAAT??

ARE YOU YECH-CHE-KEZ-KEL WIENFELD??

Y-Y-Y-ESS OFFICER.

COME WITH US TO THE STATION HOUSE WE NEED YOU FOR QUESTIONING IN A KIDNAPPING INVESTIGATION.

W-WW-AAAAT??!! WHO WAS KIDNAPPED??

WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE YOU KNOW THE WHEREABOUTS OF A BOY YANKI FREIDSTIEN.

YES I DO OFFICER.

IS THAT AN ADMISSION RABBI?

WHAAAAT?? HE IS NOT KIDNAPPED HE IS RIDING HOME WITH MY WIFE TO HIS HOME WHERE HIS PARENTS ARE EAGERLY AWAITING HIM.

HOW DO YOU KNOW??

OFFICER THE KID CAME HERE AND I “TOLD” HIM IT IS NOT SAFE TO BE WANDERING THE STREETS AT THIS HOUR, I HAD MY WIFE DRIVE HIM HOME.


HOLD ON RABBI.

CHIEF?

COME IN OFFICER.

SUBJECT IS TO ARRIVE HOME  MOMENTARILY SHOULD WE CONTINUE WITH THE ARREST? OR HAVE SUBJECT FOLLOWED TO SEE IF THIS MAY BE A CASE OF FALSE KIDNAP?

OFFICER? WE HAVE A SQUAD CAR AT SUBJECTS HOME. BOY IS SAFE AND SOUND WITH HIS MOTHER.HE WAS DRIVEN HOME BY RABBIS WIFE..SEEMS LIKE SOMEONE REPORTED A FALSE KIDNAP. WE WILL CHECK THE PHONE RECORDS..HAVE A SQUAD CAR GUARD THE RABBIS HOME FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS..

10-4


~~~~~~~


                                                                                PART 24

Heshy is awash in thought.  Ok Chani You wanna play games. No one starts with Snookerman!! HahAhaha!

I can already see Chesky Weinfelds rotten face.Sitting in central booking.HaHaHa

No one starts with me! One phone call that's all it takes.What a loser Chesky Weinfeld he set himself up like a duck in a pond.I know the kid is missing, I know he is there with him... Kidnapper Rabbi!! Ah I can see the cover of the Post already.. Oh I'm sure Chani will look good in the pictures too.
Great, I will put Chesky away.I will blame this whole addiction on him.I will tell Chani I really love her...it was this Chesky I was so jealous of..and its not even her fault..'Cause you see how "dangerous" he is. And I will be the hero,Yanki will adore me for the first time.. Ahh this is BRILLIANT!!! you can bet my new life is just beggining...
  Of course I will make Chani "BEYTT MECHILLA" Chesky Weinfeld is a loser he won't be able to count on Chani to put up a bail bond.loser oyy will he sit
HaHaHa.and I will be the Shayner Yeed,my wife will get everyones sympathy...Nebich she was chased by her sons Rebbe.Ahhh! Her Husband saved the day.HaHaHa!!!

*BOOM!KNOCK!BOOM!*
OPEN UP , POLICE!!!

Yes officers. Come in.

Are you Harry??No need to answer.Come with us!

Yes! I will pick him out in a line up.He kidnapped my son.

Shut up!Harry!You Have MIRANDA RIGHTS.
You have the right to a lawyer
.You have the right to remain silent,which we highly suggest!

Ok I will tell you everything about my sons kidnapper.

Shutup! Fool! What ever you say will be used against you!

Why are you hand cuffing me?
Why are you "stealing" my computer? My cellphone?

Shut up!

Harry do you know how to read or only understand pictures?
read this.
ARREST WARRANT!
Harry enjoy the ride.I'm sure you always wanted to ride in the Police car!

Can I make a phone call?

Yes after you are booked!
Now shut up and enjoy your tax dollars at work.

I am not the kidnapper

You will speak to the judge

Hey.don't hit me hey! This is brutality!ouch! I am gonna make A stink about this! Ouch you have no right to hit me! Oooh ouch! Hey I know the seargent you will lose your badge.ouch!!! Ouch!! I have a PBA card!! Stop hitting me!

Harry shut up!we have been looking for "snookerface" for a while.Thanks for making it easy.


~~~~~~~


                                                                    PART 25


Yanki,promIse you will never leave me again.

I Promise Ma

Good Boy!Listen Yanki we need each other for support.Tatty is obviously very very not well and he needs us to help him.

Count me out Ma.I don't care if he is my father he said to me he will kill me.I am done done done.Keep him far away from me.We can live under one roof,that's all.

Yanki, I know you are hurt.I know you are upset.But..But..
Yes, Yanki you are right. I cover up for him,a lot... Maybe too much... Yanki,there is no magic wand ... You are a smart boy...

But Maaa!! He.. Hates.. Me.. And..

I know you think he hates Me too. Yanki, I know how you feel.
Life is not a bed of roses.Yanki
Listen up let's just keep looking out for each other.OK??

Ma,I will do anything for you.

Yanki,you are the reason I wake up in the morning!

Ring!Ring!hello you have a call from the New York Police Department.we have a suspect in an investigation names Harry
Freidstien,we was granted one phone call..note this call is recorded..would you like to accept the collect charges?

Yes OK

Chanie *thinking* Jail jail Hesy in jail what did he do !!! He was just in his office!!what is going on in my life??!!why is he calling me??so he needs his barbie doll for a "get out of jail card"!!

Maam are you gonna take the call and accept the charges?

I guess.yes.

Chani chani chani *crying*
Chani uh I .. Am in jail

So I hear Heshy

Chani I did nothing

So I guessed Heshy

Chani get me out of here
I can't stay here the police beat me up*crying* and there is a goy here who said that if I am in jail for ....uchh ....uchhh...preying...on...minors uchhh he said he will kill me!he said I won't last one night in jail..chani chani help me uchhhh I am so gone..
I have nothing not even a Kappel..these goyim wAnna kill me.. Chani get me outta here!!

Heshy I will try

Chani please please bail me out!

Heshy I will try

When? Chani

Soon

Why not now

Heshy it takes a few minutes to bring barbie doll to life and make her human again

Chani chani please

Heshy I will not ask for an apology now..but if you come out of jail and you come home its on my terms

chani please

Yes Chani has a son at home that needs love and attention and ...

Chani on your terms

Heshy "Tnai koidem limaase" like "bnei gud and binei ruvain"

Chani?

Yes Harry I told you I teach him gemara

OK your terms,but get me outta here

OK here are my terms
#1 you will  go for "real" therapy
#2 you can't talk to Yanki
#3 if you are guilty in court I get a "get" no questions asked.

Chani I am not in the "matzav" to think so clear now

Heshy you called me ? Right?

But.. But..

*hello this is the operator this phone call is over its 5 minute limit.* goodbye


~~~~~~~


PART 26

SIR SHE DID NOT HANG UP ON YOU!!CALM DOWN!!

WHEN CAN I CALL HER AGAIN?

IN 24 HOURS OR WHEN YOU LAWYER COMES .

WHY DIDN’T I JUST TALK QUICK? AND ACCEPT WHATEVER SHE SAID?

I DON’T KNOW I’m NOT YOU .NOW YOU WILL GO BACK TO THE HOLDING PEN.

WHAT??AGAIN THE HOLDING PEN?? HEY I AM NOT A CRIMINAL!! LET ME GO!! I WANT TO SPEAK TO MY LAWYER THIS IS NOT FREEDOM .IT’S NOT FAIR!!

SIR THIS IS A FINAL WARNING ,BEHAVE CALM DOWN.OR YOU WILL END UP IN SOLITARY

HEY NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! I AM NOT GOING TO SOLITARY I  AM SITTING IN THE LOBBY TILL MY LAWYER COMES. I KNOW THE SARGENT I USED TO BRING DONUTS HERE.

MOVE IT !GET INTO THE PEN .AND HERE IS A LITTLE REMINDER TO BEHAVE.

OUCH!! YOU CAN’T KICK ME THIS IS NOT RUSSIA! OUCH!! OOOH !! I WILL MAKE YOU GUYS PAY FOR THIS I AM NOT A CRIMINAL!! YOU ARE!!

IN THE SLAMMER! SEE YA IN 24 HOURS.ENJOY!


HEY YO! HARRY. YOZE GOTTA BE HAVIN’ YOZE CANT MESS WIFF DEEZ COPS HERE.
HI MA NAME IS "KALEED" IZE BEEN IN AN OUTTA HERE MO’ TIMES THAN YOUZE GOES TO THA BANK. HERE IN THE PEN YOU ACT LIKE A GOOD BOY.WHEN YO LAWYER SHOW UP YOZE TELL EM WHO HIT .YOZE OK? NOW BE HAVIN!

IM NOT A CRIMINAL

CMON HARRY YOZE DONE SUMFIN’ YOZE POBABALY RIPPED OFF DA BANK. HE HE. OR WASHED SOME BEN FRANKLINS FO’ GUYS LIKE ME .HEH HEH!

IM NOT A CRIMINAL

YOZE GOTTA FAMILY??

NO. YES. UHHH I’M NOT SURE. UHH YESS I DO.

GOOD MAN GOOD YOZE BROTHAS WILL BAIL YOU OUT.MEEZ GOTTA JIST WORK DA SYSTEM.YOZE BROTHAS GOTTA LOTTA MONIES.HEH HEH

UM YES. NO.. I’m IN TROUBLE

OHHH I SEEZ YO’ MESSED WIFF DA WIFE SHEEZ MAD .SHEEZ WANTS YOZE TO ROT IN DA PEN FO A COUPLA DAYZ.HEH HEH

SOMETHING LIKE THAT

YOUZE BETTA BEHAVE IN DA PEN HERE,CUZ BIG BOOGE MANS COPS COME HERE ALL DA TIME.
NO ONE LIKES GUYS WHO DON’T RESPECT WOMEN
MAN.GUESS WHAT?YOUZE GONNA GET BEAT UP UP ONCE YOUZE GET TO DA ‘SIXTH BORO OF NEW YORK’

WHATS THAT?

CMON HARRY DON’T PLAY STOOPID .RIKERS ISLAND! YOUZE GONNA BE IN DA DEVILS PLAYGROUND.MAN YOU GONNA GET WHIPPED!!HEH HEH

HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE??

'STOO LATE HARRY?YOUZE NEEDA LAWYAH AND THE WIFE BEIN' MAD AT YA ..SHEESH YOUZE GOTTA REAAL DOOZEER.

I’M NOT A CRIMINAL,KALEED

HEH HEH,HARRY AND  I’M NOT A PUSHAH!

IM NOT A BAD GUY ..JUST GOT CARRIED AWAY IN MY OWN LITTLE WORLD.
KALEED DID YOU EVER HEAR OF THE BIBLE?

YOZE GOTTA BE KIDDIN ME IZE LOVE THAT STUFF THE SINGIN AND THE CHANTIN OHH BABY!

I DIDN’T FOLLOW THE BIBLE. NOW I’m STUCK LIKE A LOSER SHEH-BILOSER  IM "OIF GEHAKKTEH TZOORIS"
I REALLY DIDN’T HURT ANYONE .ONLY MYSELF.I DID MY LITTLE THING.

HEH HEH! MAN YOUZE DONE SOME BAD STUFF IZE SEE IT IN YOUZE EYES!

YOUZE MESSIN AROUND YOUZE LOOK LIKE A RABBI BUT YOUZE A BIG BAD GUY IN A LOTTA TROUBLES.
YOUZE GONNA GET YOUZE HEAD KICKED IN IN RIKERS.HEH HEH.
YOUZE GOTTA GET BAILED OUT BEFORE YOUZE GET TO RIKERS MAN.
YOUZE BAD!!I SEE IT YOUZE DA WORST YOUZE LOOK GOOD BUT YOUZE REAL BAD.

KALEED YOU ARE RIGHT.I NEGLECTED MY WIFE AND KIDS.I REALLY WAS VERY VERY SELFISH, I REALLY MADE BAD CHOICES.KALEED YOU ARE RIGHT.
I AM IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.I CANT EVEN COUNT ON THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE ME.

YOUZE GOTTA BEHAVE FOR ONE MO DAY.CALL THE WIFE SAY SORRY
LET HER BRING THE BIG BILLS AND YOUZE GOIN HOME

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SAY SORRY*OUCH!* KALEED DON’T HIT ME!

HEY ONE SMACK ON THE FACE WOULDA SET YOUZE STRAIGHT A WHILE BACK.
YOUZE BEG HER FO FO-GIVENESS. HEH HEH.YOUZE GOTTA FESS UP.

I KNOW.BUT IM TOO PROUD*OUCH OUCH* POLICE!!

HARRY SHUT UP! IZE GONNA GET YOUZE OUTTA HERE BUT YOUZE GOTTA BE-HAVE.

*OUCHHHH*

HARRY ISS TOOLATE THE BOOGIE MANS ARE HERE.STOOPID. WHY YOUZE CALLED DA COPS .
HEY THEY WILL LOCK YOU UP .ME NO ONE TOUCHES.THEY KNOW ME AROUND HERE.
GOOD LUCK YOUZE GONNA NEED IT!
LAST SHOT HARRY, SAY SORRY TO DA MISSUS.


FREIDSTIEN:YOU ARE OFF TO SOLITARY!

WHAT?WHY?

YOU WERE FIGHTING IN THE PEN.AND YOU NEED SOLITARY.

LAST CHANCE.PLEASE

SOLITARY! IT IS!

- - - -
HI MADAM.HOW CAN WE HELP YOU?



I AM LOOKING FOR MY HUSBAND..I CHECKED EVERY PRECINCT..



NAME?



HARRY FREIDSTIEN.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HOOOOOOO!!HAHAHAHAAH!!!!



IS HE HERE?



HAHAH YES. HE IS IN SOLITARY.
BUT NOW THAT WE MET YOU WE WILL TEACH HIM A LESSON OR TWO.HAHAHAHAH

NO NO DON’T HURT HIM.



WHY NOT LADY? HAVE NO MERCY ON THE MERCILESS!!HAHAH .LADY TAKE MY ADVICE .LET HIM ROT!!


~~~~~~~


                                                      PART 27


Maam your husband was involved in illegal internet activity

Is he guilty?

No.No. allegedly of course

He also has a count of false reporting of kidnap

Allegedly?

Yes. Of course yes. allegedly.

Can I visit him?

Maam noway! .now he is in lockdown.

What's that?

Solitary confinement.lockdown.
Maam why do you want him? I guess he is worth a few bucks.

*Chani thinking,I know they think he is a bum.but..he is a person who needs one chance to be helped..maybe..let me try

Yes officer he is quite wealthy.

Hahahah pretty wife loads of money!what's his damage?

Officer,I will sit here all day.I need to speak with him.I will not leave until I speak to him.

Ok ok you can sit here.

Officer you won't regret it. I will help you with any fund raiser or the  PAL you can count on me.

Let's see if we can "arrange" him to go to the hospital.Then you can speak to him.

Thanks.

Harry Friedstien!

Whaa who??

Harry are you enjoying our Special Housing Unit?

Uhh whaa! Bollwtyyugg.mmm uhh

Good Harry good

Oooh uhhh!taKkk Mmme home

Soon Harry soon

Harry you have such a pretty wife.nice Harry nice.you probably have gorgeous kids too.

Y-y-yes

HArry ,you ever wanna see them again

Y-y--y-e-s

Good Harry good

Listen Harry you are supposed to be here for 36 hours in lockdown before you see a lawyer. You wife is too nice we arranged  to have you sent to the hospital.and get you outta here

Good.Thank you Chanie

Harry one thing we need a reason to ship you off to the hospital ok?

Ok

Great Harry you are soo cooperative.coupla hours down here taught you who is boss

Y-y-e-s

Ok good Harry good

Ok

Now help us out.We need you to give yourself some self inflicted wounds.ok?

Ok

Hahahahahaha

*ouchh *oooohhh !!! Owwww!!

*aahhhhhaaaA yoOoooOwww!!
Bleeding oooh my mouf if fudd ob blood!ooooh ahhhwoooowww



Yes Sarge  he tried suicide we need a bus to take him to Bellvue.yes we will ride along.no one except his wife.she's coming for the ride.Yup it will be funniest. Sarge all in a days work.


~~~~~~~


                                                PART 28

LISTEN MAAM.WE DID WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE TO GET HIM OUT.
HE IS IN BAD SHAPE.BUT HEY MAYBE LESS DANGEROUS NOW. MAAM AS SOON AS WE LEAVE,
THE DOCTORS TAKE OVER . WE WATCH THIS ROOM AS IF IT IS A JAIL CELL.WE CHECK THE
VISITORS ETC. HEY THIS BUM IS GOING NO WHERE QUICK.HA HA

MRS. FREIDSTIEN.I AM PLEASED TO MEET YOU I AM DR.PATEL, YOUR HUSBAND HE SUSTAINED SEVERE HEAD BLOWS ,LOOKS LIKE SELF INFLICTED.HE IS IN A COMATOSE STATE.HE TOOK BEATINGS TO OTHER PARTS OF HIS BODY,PROBABLY FROM THE JAIL.WE WILL MONITER HIM.
PLEASE NOTE THAT IT HELPS FOR THE RECOVERY IF YOU OR YOUR CHILDREN SPEAK TO
HIM EVEN IF HE SHOWS NO RESPONE.

THANK YOU DOCTOR.I WILL STAY HERE .FOR.. AWHILE..


MRS FRIEDSTIEN..TALK TO HIM..

ILL TRY


HESHY.HESHY. DO YOU HEAR ME? I KNOW YOU DO?
TATALEH IT’S ME CHANIE.
DO YOU REMEMBER ME?
I AM YOUR WIFE. REMEBER WE HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN? YANKI AND ESTI?
HESHY YOU REMEMBER THEM TOO?
HESHY I REMEMBER YOU TOO. YES I DO
.AHH YOU WERE  SO TALL AND HANDSOME, YES REALLY SKINNY. HA TOO SKINNY.
YOU ALWAYS HAD SUCH NICE THINGS TO SAY TO EVERYONE. AHH HOW MY FATHER ALAV HASHALOM LOVED YOU.
OY HESHY! HE WOULD SAY.”THIS IS A PERSON” A  MENTCH.
OY HESHY REMEMBER OUR
CHASUNAH HA! REMEMBER WE HOW WE GOT LOCKED OUT OF THE HOTEL DURING SHEVA BRACHOS AND WE STAYED UP ALL NIGHT SHMOOZING IN CENTRAL PARK…HESHY WE HAD SUCH A GOOD LIFE.
NO MONEY NO STRESS.. REMEBER WHEN YANKI WAS BORN ..HOW YOU HELD HIM..
HESHY REMEMEBR HOW YOU WALKED HIM TO SHUL THE FIRST TIME ..HIS.UPSHERIN
..HOW YOU CRIED FROM SIMCHA..HESHY DO YOU REMBER THE FISRT TIME YANKI SAID “MAH NISHTANAH”?  HESHY THERE WAS NO HAPPIER PERSON IN THE WORLD..       

YES THERE WAS ONE
HAPPIER PERSON? YOU KNOW WHO?? ME!!

YES ME CHANIE FRIEDSTIEN WAS ONCE HAPPY!HA HA WHAT JOKE!

HESHY THIS IS A JOKE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN SEVEN YEARS I AM SPEAKING  TO YOU
WITHOUT YOU RETORTING IN A NASTY WAY!!
HESHY I KNOW YOU HEAR,SORRY TO BREAK
YOUR HEART. IF  YOU HAVE ONE..I AM BEGINNING TO ENJOY THIS COMA OF
YOURS.*CHANIE CRYING*

AM I SOOO HORRIBLE?? TO ENJOY A HUSBAND IN A COMA?? I AM HESHY? RIGHT?? HESHY
I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GUILTY OF.
IF YOU WILL GET OUT OF JAIL I WILL HELP YOU GET BACK ON YOUR FEET.

BUT BUT  YOU ARE GUILTY OF MURDER!! YOU KILLED ME! DOUBLE MURDER YOU ARE
TRYING TO KILL YANKI TOO.. I AM SAYING THINGS I NEVER TOLD YOU ..BUT NOW YOU
CAN’T FIGHT BACK…TOO BAD YOU WERE SO BOLD..YOU HAVE A DEAD WIFE WHO TALKS TO
A COMATOSE HUSBAND.. HESHY YOU ARE NOTHING NOW.
NO MONEY WILL HELP YOU. YOUR KIDS AND WIFE HATE YOU.. YOU LIVED A SILLY LIFE..YOU KEPT YOURSELF BUSY WITH…WHAT?? WHAT DID YOU GAIN?? A FEW MOMENTS OF SELF INDULGENT PLEASURE..I TOTALY FOLLOWED YOU LIKE A FOOL..
”MITT GETANTZED” WITH EVERY WHIM…
LONG SHAITEL SHORT ONE
..LONG SKIRT SMALL SKIRT TIGHT FLUFFY WAVY …ALL FOR WHAT??
TO GET WHAT IN RETURN??
DID WE HAVE SHABBOS IN OUR HOUSE?YOMTOV??
AND IF WE WENT THROUGH THE MOTIONS…WHERE WAS YOUR HEART..AND HESHY LOOK WHERE IT GOT
YOU..YOU STOOPED SO LOW.. YOU TURNED EVERYONE AROUND YOU, INTO THE IMAGE OF THE MONSTER YOU WERE…YANKI HAS A GIRL FRIEND ..
I'M IN LOVE WITH RABBI
WEINFELD .. THE KID RUNS AWAY FROM YOU CALL THE COPS ON HIS REBBE…WHERE
DID IT GET YOU ?? NO WHERE??

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE YOU KILLED ?? YOUR SELF!!!
YOUR TALENT!YOUR POTENTIAL!

NOW WE ARE AT THE END OF THE ROAD!! A VEGETABLE IN THE “MISHIGOOYIM HOYZ”
BELLVUE..WHERE ARE YOU ?WHAT ARE YOU?


HESHY I NEED TO TELL YOU THIS SORRY IF IT HURTS.
TOO BAD!!

HESHY I WISH YOU …*CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY*



HEY MAAM YOUZE  NEED TA KEEP ON TALKIN’

I .. CAN’T… I AM DRAINED..WHO ARE YOU??

HEY MAAM IM DA NURSE HERE. MA NAME IS KALEED


~~~~~~~


                        PART 29

CHANI CHANI CHANI I WISH I CAN TALK TO YOU.
I REALLY WISH I CAN OPEN MY MOUTH AND SAY  SOMETHING EVERYTHING ANYTHING..
I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WILL MAKE UP WITH YOU.
I ALWAYS CONVINCED MYSELF THAT ALTHOUGH I AM PUSHING THE ENVELOPE... I WILL ONE DAY MAKE IT UP..
UCHH I CANT TALK..
ALL I CAN DO IS LISTEN AND THINK
LISTEN AND THINK TWO THINGS I NEVER EVER DID
LISTEN LISTEN TOCHANI LISTEN TO HER
OUCH SHE IS MAKING ME SOOO NERVOUS SHE IS SO RIGHT
WHY DID I DO ALL THOS STUPID THINGS...

...NOW I AM HERE IT’S THE END OF THE ROAD ..ALL MY LAME EXCUSES WONT HELP ME!!! GEVALLLLD!!

...I RUINED MY LIFE. I HURT MY WIFE. I CAN NEVER APOLOGIZE TO HER.
I MISSED SEVEN ANNIVERSARIES SEVEN BIRTHDAYS. WHO KNOWS HOW MANY HUNDREDS OF NIGHTS SHE STAYED UP FOR ME...

...UCHHHH HOW MANY TIMES I LIED ,I EVADED THE TRUTH ,FABRICATED APPOINTMENTS, MEETINGS, PROJECTS, FOR WHAT??

...I HAVE A SON, WHO I SO WANT HIM TO LOVE ME.
HOW CAN HE LOVE A BUM WHO COMES HOME TO SHOWER AND GET CLEAN CLOTHES.
ALL I EVER DID WAS INSULT HIM, MAKE FUN OF HIS RABBEIM ,HIS TEACHERS, HIS QUESTIONS,HIS ASPIRATIONS.

NOW I AM A VEGGIE.GOOD HARRY GOOD.HOW MANY TIMES YOU TRIED TO BREAK FREE??
HOW MANY TIMES YOU WERE THIS CLOSE TO SPEAKING TO A RABBI?
BUT THE STINKING HARRY PRIDE!! ALOT TO BE PROUD OF .
WIFE IS CRUSHED ALL HER GOODNESS AND KINDNESS ,HER CHARM WAS BEATEN OUT OF HER ,
YANKI PROBABLY WON’T SAY KADDISH FOR ME.
I AM STUCK IN A BED WITH TUBES COMING IN AND OUT OF PLACES I DIDN’T KNOW EXSISTED .

..UCHHHH. THE END OF THE ROAD IS VERY LONELY. VERY DARK.
VERY SCARY .THERE IS NO ONE WAITING FOR ME AT THE LAST TRAIN STOP.
HERE IT IS GAMES OVER ,THE MONKEY IS DEAD. WHAT A WASTE OF A LIFE.
IF I MEET MY MAKER I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR MYSELF. ACCOMPLISHMENTS, ZERO.NADDA .
WHO WILL SHOW UP AT MY LEVAYA??CHANI AND MAYBE A FEW NEIGHBORS.
END OF THE ROAD.LAST STOP.

...I DON’T EVEN HAVE A CHANCE??A FEW MINUTES ??
WHAT WILL I DO IF I HAD A CHANCE?? IS THERE NO LAST CHANCE??REALLY??IF I CAN CHANGE??
I NEED ONE LAST CHANCE?? I FEEL SOO GUILTY HANGING ON TO MY LAST FEW MINUTES ON EARTH… CLINGING TO THE HOPE OF A LAST CHANCE…I NEED ONE MINUTE..I CAN’T DIE YET..PLEASE..PLEASE..

..UCHHH  SHE STOPPED TALKING! GREAT. I AM DEAD NOW .DEAD. SILENCE.SO THAT'S IT.NO CHANCE TO SAY GOOD BYE.DEAD.
NO I HEAR THE MACHINES..WHOOSHH WHOOSH BEEP BEEP.WOOSH WOOSH.BEEP BEEP.

OK I WILL ATTEMPT TO TALK..THIS IS HARD..TALKING.. I CANT…OK LET ME TRY..WHAT WILL I SAY??
OK I WILL SAY CHANI I AM SO SORRY.FORGIVE ME.I LOVE YOU…..


LADY IZE GONNA AKS YOUZE TO KEEP ON TALKIN UP A STORM TO DA MAN .
ISS GOOD FOR HIS BRAINZ.
SHEEZ YOUZE DA WIFE. MAAN HEEES MESSED UP. WOW.HEH HEH

NURSE.UM KHALID DID YOU HEAR ALL THAT I SAID??

LADY EVERY LAST WORD. ‘SWAS LIKE SILVA BULLTES IN DA HEART.GO GIRL YOUZE GOTTA TELL HIM SUMPFIN. I WAS LISTENIN.YOUZE GOTTA TELL DA MAN DA TROOF IN YOUZE HEART.

OH! SHUCKS!

WHYZ DAT LADY ?HEEZ A GOOD BAD GUY IZE CAN SEE IT YEAH IZE CAN SEE IT.HEH HEH.

YOU KNOW HIM?

NAAAH! WHERE CAN A NURSE IN BELL-VOO NOW AEVRYONE.
BUT IZE SEEN A THANG OR TWO IN MA LIFE.HEH HEH..

KHALLED OR IS IT KHALEED

ISS GOOD WHATEVEAH.

WHAT DO I DO NOW?WHAT DO I DO? I HAVE A THREE QUARTER DEAD HUSBAND WHO IS “ALLEGEDLY”GUILTY OF SOME REAL BAD CRIMES


HEY LADY LISSUN,YOUZE JEWISH PEOPLES DON’T KNOW DA SYSTEM.
HEEES NOT BEEN CHARGED WIFF NUFFIN YET.
HE WAS IN DA PEN. DA COPS WHIPPED HIM. I ALSO SMACKED HIM FO’ BEEIN DISSEN YA’ ALL DEEZ TIMES.BUT DA COPS REELLY HIT HIM.YUP.DEY DID. IZE SEEN IT.

SO YOU KNOW HIM?

YOUZE GETTING OFF TOPIC LADY.
LEMME SPLAIN IT TO YOUZE.DIS GUY DID SUMPFIN WRONG OK.NOW HEEZ A LITTLE GINNY PIG FO DA COPS.SEE EVERY TIME THEY GET SOMEONE REAL WEAK LIKE YO HARRY DEY PIN ON HIM ALL KINDSA CRIMES .WHETHA HEEZ DONE IT OR NOT.ISS THE WAY DAYZ CLEAN UP THEIR FILES
LADY ISS DA “SYSTEM”.HE IS STUCK IN DA SYSTEM. KHALEED KNOW DA SYSTEM YOUZE GOT NO IDEAS HOW DA SYSTEM OPERATES.

SO YOU WERE IN JAIL?

LADY YOUZE OFF DA TOPIC AGAIN.
LISSUN LADY YOUZE GOT NO IDEAS HOW LUCKY DIS HALF DEAD HARRY IS.HE WAS CHARGED WIFF NUFFIN, YET.
HE WAS BEATEN UP IN DA HOLDING PEN.DEYZ EVEN NEVER GOT HIS FINGO PRINTS AN HIS MUG SHOT.FOR ALL PRACTICAL PURPOSES HE WAS NEVER IN JAIL.

BUT.. BUT.. HE’S HERE

FO NOW LADY. FO NOW..KHALEED GOT SOME MO TRIX IN HIS BAG.HEH HEH

KHALLEED CAN YOU GET HIM HOME?

HEH HEH FO A COUPLA GREEN BIG GREEN ONES I CAN DO ANYTHING HEH HEH.LOOKS TO ME YOU GOT A COUPLA FRANKLINS IN THE PRADA BAG HEH HEH

BUT HE IS HALF DEAD

NOT FO LONG LADY NOT FO LONG.HEH HEH.KHALEED KNOWS A COUPLA TRIX.HEH HEH.

LADY IZE GONNA AKS YOUZE SUMPFIN

GO AHAED “MR KNOWS THE SYSTEM” KHALEED

HEH HEH YOUZE MAKE ME LAFF
IZE GOTTA KNOW ONE THANG.

IF HE CHANGES HIS LIFE AROUND.LIKE ONE EIGHTY.BRAND NEW SPANKIN CLEAN OUTTA DE SHOWROOM SHINE.YOUZE GET DA PIKTCHA?

YES,KHALLEED.

WILL YOUZE BE ABLE TO LOVE HIM ,AGAIN? THINK LADY THINK.

WHY?

LADY.THINK IT OVER.I WILL STAY HERE FO A BIT…


~~~~~~~


PART 30

REBBI I DONT UNDERSTAND LAST NIGHT I BEGGED YOU TO LET ME IN YOUR HOUSE
..AND TODAY YOU ARE BEGGING ME TO COME IN

YANKI..

PLEASE REBBI PLEASE DON’T HIDE FROM ME WHATS GOING ON?

YANKI PLEASE DON’T MAKE THIS DIFFICULT.COME TO MY HOUSE.WE WILL HAVE A GOOD TIME.

REBBI WHERE ARE MY PARENTS ?

YANKI PLEASE

REBBI WHATS GOING ON??

YANKI  THERE IS A LOT THAT NEEDS TO BE EXPLAINED .. YOUR FATHER IS VERY SICK! OK, SO YOUR MOTHER NEEDS TO BE WITH HIM.
THE DOCTOR WANTS HER THERE.

WHY?

CAUSE HE  IS THE DOCTOR

WHY?

YANKI, WHAT DO YOU WANT REBBI TO SAY? I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP

REBBI ,PLEASE DRIVE ME TO THE HOSPITAL

NO,YANKI

ILL GO MYSELF

NO YANKI

REBBI PLEASE PLEASE ,
I DON’T WANT TO UPSET YOU.I NEED TO SEE FOR MYSELF

OK LETS TAKE THE F TRAIN COME LETS WALK TO 18TH AVE ILL GET YOU A PIZZA IN MENDELSOHNS 

REBBI MY COUSIN LIVES ON 45TH STREET .WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM ANYMORE.

CMON YANKI UP THE STEPS.METROCARD.WHAT A VIEW FROM THIS PLATFORM.

YEAH REBBI I SEE DOUGIES

*BING BONG “STAND CLEAR OF THEMZ CLOSING DOORS.NEXT STOP CHURCH AVENOO.



WHERE THAT LADY BE.DIS MAN HEEZ GONNA DIE BY HEEEZSELF HEAY MAAN WHAT A SHAME. LIKE AN OLE HORSE AFTA DA KENTICKY DIBBY.
YO HARRY YO LISSUN.ISS MEE KHALLEED!!HARRY YOUZE GOTTA WAKE UP!ISS AN ORDER!

YO HEAH ME??CMON SAY SUMPFIN!!HEY SHOULD I PULL YO TRAKE OUT ??
HEH HEH DR KHALEED!
YANKIN ON DA TRAKE!!
FO HARRYS SAKE.
MAKE NO MISTAKE

HARRY LIKE MA JINGLE?
OK DA TRAKE IS OUT
SAY A FOO WORDS!!!
HARRY YOUZE SCARED LIKE A LIL BOY YOUZE  WIFE WILL NOT TAKE YOU HOME?
DON’T YOU WORRY HARRY YOUZE WILL GIT ON YOUZE HANS AN KNEES AN BEG!!

HARRY SAY SOMETHING OR I WILL SHUT THIS MACHINE DOWN!!
IZE COUNTIN TILL 6O.
FFTY NAAHHN FFTY ATE  FFTY SEVIN… 

*HESHY THINKING* "OY I WISH I CAN TALK THIS NUT JOB IS GOING TO KILL ME..THIS IS IT ONE MINUTE LEFT TO LIVE.. HASHEM..HASHEM…HASHEM…I IGNORED YOU..YOU TRIED TO HELP BUT I WAS A MAD AKSHIN STUBBORN..I MAKE A NEDER IF YOU SAVE ME …I WILL DO TESHUVAH SHLEIMAH…BAIN ADAM LICHAVEIRO!! AND BAIN ADAM LIMAKOM!!..I PROMISE..GIVE ME THE KOACH TO SAY ONE WORD!!ONE WORD!!ONE WORD SO THIS GUY DOES NOT KILL ME..PLEASE HASHEM PLEASE"..

HARRY IZE STILL COUNTIN..FOORDY FIVE  FOORDY FOUR HEY DAT WAS REGGIES NUMBAH..
HARRY YOUZE CAN DO IT SAY A WORD!!
ONE WORD!!REGGIE!!REGGIE!!

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DE DEAD MAN IS SPEAKIN!!!
YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!

GURGGGGGUHHHHHHYANKI-III

HARRY YOUZE SAID SUMPFIN IZE SAYZ REGGIE HE SAYS YANKEES!! DIS MAN IS NOT IN NO COMA!!IZE SEEN IT HEEZ MAKIN INTELLIGENT CONVOSASHUN!!!
LADY LADY!! IZE SWAER HEEES ALIVE
WHERE YOUZE BEEN ??

KHALLEED ARE YOU NUTS WHERE IS HIS TRACHE??

HE DONT NEED IT LADY
HEES COOL HE WAS TALKIN’ WIFF ME WE WAS TALKIN BASEBALL!!

KHALEED-WHAT- DID-HE-SAY??

HE SEZ .YANKEES!

WHATTTTT??

MA GOSH SHE FAINTED!!! WADDUH WADDUH!!!


~~~~~~~


                      PART 31


REBBI WHY ARE WE GETTING OFF HERE?

WE NEED THE 7 TRAIN,YANKI

REBBI I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH

WHY IS THAT,YANKI?

I HAVE A GOOD FEELING

THAT WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW JUST..MAYBE..LET'S SAY I IMAGINE SOMETHING GOOD...

YANKI, SHEYFELEH...LIFE IS NOT LIVED,IN IMAGINATION.I WISH YOU HAD AN EASIER..MORE PLEASANT LIFE..YANKI, REBBI DOES NOT MEAN TO SCARE YOU.. BUT YOUR FATHER IS IN BAD SHAPE

I KNOW YOU WANT ME NOT TO SCARED ..BUT ALSO TO BE PREPARED FOR SOMETHING REALLY BAD..RIGHT REBBI?

YES.. YANKI.

BUT IM ALLOWED TO DREAM

WHATEVER IT TAKES ...

I KNOW IT'S REALLY MORE COMPLICATED BECAUSE ...

YOUR, VERY SPECIAL MOTHER IS..

I KNOW, REBBI..AND MY MOTHER IS STILL MAD AT HIM..RIGHT REBBI?

YES YANKI.

SHES NOT MAD JUST HURT AND SAD..

YANKI ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE ONLY 12 YEARS OLD?

REBBI I AM GOING TO BEG HASHEM THAT I SHOULD HAVE A FAMILY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

YANKELEH! WE NEED A MIRACLE!

*Bing Bong*NEXSHTT SH-TH-OPP TWENNY EIFF SHTWEET

YANKI LETS GET OFF

WOW REBBI IS THIS A BIG STATION!WHERE DO WE GO?

UMM YANKI I WILL CHECK..I THINK.. NO WE GOT OFF AT THE RIGHT STOP..JUST.. I AM NOT SURE.. WHERE WE NEED TO EXIT..I WAS NEVER HERE BEFORE..

LETS ASK SOMEONE.

NO YANKI DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS

UM.. I THINK ... UHH..

REBBI WE ARE LOST.IN MANHATTAN.WOW!

UMM YESS ..I GUESS  WE ARE..

OK REBBI NOW WE BOTH NEED A MIRACLE.



HEH HEH RABBI YOUZE LOST??

NO. I .MEAN YES!

COME WIFF KHALEED IZE BEEN WAITIN FO' YOUZE!

WHATT??

IZE SAYZ " IZE BEEN WAITIN FO' YOUZE!"

WHO??

RABBI COME WIFF KHALEED YANKY NEEDS TO SEE HE DADDY QUICK!!!

WHO? WHAT?

FOLLOW ME.HEH HEH

WHO ARE YOU??

HEY RABII YOUZE JOOWISH PEEPIL ARE ALWAYS CHANGING DA SUBJECT! I KNOW A THANG OR TWO.HEH HEH.

HOW DID YOU KNOW WE WERE COMING?

HEY I KNOW DA SYSTEM
NOW FOLLOW KHALEED .THERE IS NO WAY TO GET YOUZE TWO IN DA HOSPITAL 'PAST DA POLICE WIFOUT DOINN' IT DA KHALEED WAY.HEH HEH

I GUESS YOU ARE RIGHT MR.KHALEED!

HEH HEH


~~~~~~~


                                                        PART 32



WEEZ GONNA TAKE SOME SHORT CUTS TO DA CRAZY HOUSE

CRAZY HOUUSE??

HEH HEH.BELLVOO IS DA CRAZY HOUSE.OK WEEZ GONNA TAKE A FEW TUNNELS HERE.KEEP ON WALKIN.WEEZ AMOST HERE.

OK NOW WEEZ IN DA BASEMENT OF BELVOO.OK UP DA SERVICE ELLI-VATER .OK WEEZ ON DA ROOF NOW!DONT LOOK DOWN.ISS SCARY

Uh uh Kahaled are you sure about this?

RABBI IS DE ONLY WAY IN.AND DATS DA EASY PART.DA WAY OUT IS GONNA BE HARDER.HEH HEH

OK LET DA BOY GO DOWN DIS OLD AIR CONDISHINER CHUTE.
GOOD BOY YANKEE HEH HEH
K NOW ME AND DA RABBI IS GONNA COM FROM A NODER DOOR.YANKEE U GO TO DA END OF DA CHUTE.DERE IS A LOCKED GREEN DOOR DERE .IM GONNA GET YOU FROM DERE IN NO TIME

KHALED WHAT DID YOU DO?

RABBI PAY-SHINTS!PLEASE!
WEEZ GOONA COME UP THE REGULAH WAYZ

REBBI..REBBI...HELP!!REBBI!DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!

HEY BOY YANKI KHALEED KNOWS DA SYSTEM!!DO NOT BE AFRAID (don't be afraid? - guard) YOUZE GOT NUFFIN TO FEAR! THE HIGHER GUARD IS WATCHIN 'OER YOUZE




*CHANIE THINKING..WHERE DID THAT CRAZY KHALEED..WHAT DID HE MEAN WHEN SAID "I'm GONNA FIND YOUZE SON"?
NOW HESHY IT"S YOU And I.

SAY SOMETHING!KHALEED SAYS YOU CAN TALK. NUU TALK.
WANT ME TO TALK FIRST?
HESHY! OK I WILL!!
HESHY I FORGIVE YOU!
DID YOU HEAR THAT??
I- FOR-GIVE YOU!!!

JUST LIVE,LIVE,LIVE!!!

LEARN.TO GIVE UP!GIVE UP YOUR FEARS YOUR LUST!
BY GIVING UP YOU WILL BE "POWERFUL" NOT "POWERLESS" - (By giving up? - Guard)
YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO TRUST.HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT FEAR,WITHOUT ANXIETY.

YOU WILL BE IN CONTROL WITHOUT BEING "CONTROLLING"

HESHY,PEOPLE WHO LIVE,THEY LOVE.YES LOVE.HESHY LOVE THAT GIVES THAT APPRECIATES,
LOVE,BEING ABLE TO SEE AND FEEL OTHERS NEEDS,THATS LOVE.UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!

URGGGHHH Y-AA-NNN-KKK-III


HESHY!!!HESHY!!!HESHY!!!
YOU ARE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

III N.NNNEEED Y-ANKI

HESHY.Easy.HESHY I WILL TRY TO FIND HIM.

III N.NNNEEED Y-ANKI ,,NNOW

HESHY .calm Calm CALM



YOUZE GOTTA LET DIS MAN INTO DA ROOM HE IS DEE RABBI
HEEZ GONNA SAY DE PRAYUZ

IM HEEZ HELPER HEEZ GAB-BEY.HEH HEH


~~~~~~~


PART 33


What am I doing up in this chute? Am I nuts?
Is Rebbi so irresponsible? Who was that guy??
Hashem help me! I am calling to you like Dovid Hamelech from the cave.
I am I the roof of the worlds most famous Mishigoim Hoiz
Mimamakim Kiraseecha Hashem!!
Ki Avee v'Imi azuvunee,vHashem Ya'sfeainee..
Oh.. I know the end Is very close.. It can't get worse than this... I hope..
Hey I hear voices..I am not imagining..
I hear that nut Khaleed ..I hear Mommy..
Yoish I miss her so badly..
Khaleed again ..let me listen..

HARRY! YOUZE ALIVE!!
IZE SEEN IT.WIFF MINE EYES,YO WIFE, DA LOVELY LADY SEEN IT!
NOW STOP PLAYIN' YOUZE GOTTA BE A "MAN"
YOUZE GOTTA SAY "I IS SORRY"
YOUZE BROKE DA LADYS HEART.
SHE READY TO FORGIVE YOU.
BUT HARRY THERE IS NO FREE LUNCHES.MAYBE IN THE BOWERY.
BUT YOUZE GONNA BEG FO FORGIVNESS.

URGHHHH! I WANT TO TALK TO YANKI!

Reb Hershel .I'm your sons Rebbe,Yecheskel Weinfeld.
I am so happy that you are getting better.soon you will go home.

I WANT TO TALK TO YANKI!

Yes,you will talk to him.
We just feel it is the right time for you to be "mikabel" on yourself,
for once and for all to be a husband first to your wife AND a father.

I WANT TO TALK TO YANKI NOW!!

TATTY!!TATTY!!

I Hear Yanki!urgggh

YOUZE NOT DREAMIN!HARRY.HEH HEH

TATTY!!TATTY!! I'm HERE!

HARRY.YOUZE THIS CLOSE
SURRENDER!!GIVE IN!
LET GO!  OF YOUZE EGO!

TATTY IM IN THE CEILING ABOVE YOUR BED.
JUST TELL MOMMY YOU LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD!!!
TATTY YOU CAN SAY IT!!!

Urrghhh CH-CHA-CHAN-II

LESS GO HARRY!!TALK UP!

I I ..Really apologize..I hate that I ruined 3 lives..If I get better..will you give me a chance to change?

BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP...

Heshy!!! Don't Die Now!!

BEEEEEEEEP!!!!

Urrgggh I AM SO SORRY!

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!


~~~~~~~


                                        PART 34

IS THAT IT?? IS THIS THE END?? IS MY HUSBAND DEAD??

LADY, SOUNDS LIKE IT TO ME.SAD.HEH HEH.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?

MRS.FREIDSTIEN ,HASHEM NASSAN HASHEM LAKACH..

RABBI WEINFELD WHERE IS YANKI??

LADY HEEZ RIGHT OVER HEAH. IZE GO FETCH HIM.

KHALEED YOU GET YANKI,I WILL SAY THE TEFILLOS.

RABBI, DID MY HUSBAND DO TESHUVAH BEFORE HE DIED?




KHALEED! THANKS FOR GETTING ME OUT OF THE CHUTE.

NO SWEAT KID.YANKI.HEH HEH.

KHALEEDD I SAW WHAT YOU DID !

KID KEEP YOUZE MOUF SHUT!! I CAN PULL A TRICK ON YOU TOO!!

KHALEED…

KID QUIET !!

UMM I..

KID YANKI KEEP YOUR MOUF SHUT!! ISS AN ORDER!!


POLICE,LET DIS GUY GO TO DO MORGUE.HEEZ DEAD.TELL DA SEARGENT.
YUP.DEAD STIFF. COLD. HEY WEEZ GONNA GO WIFF HIM TO DA MORGUE.
HEEZ WIFE HEEZ KID HEEZ RABBI.

HEY POLICE EASY .DEEZ PEOPLE JUST LOST DERR FAMILY MEMBAH.
HEY THEY HAVE THEIR OWN  CUSTOMS.
DATS WHY WEEZ GOT DA RABBI HEAH .HEEZ GONNA CALL DA SHOTS. YOUZE CAN SHOW SOME RESPEC.

HEY PLOICE,CHILL,CHILL,LET DA MAN BE DEAD AN BERRIED.YOUZE HANDS ARE NOT SO CLEAN.HEH HEH




KHALEED,CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

YES,RABBI.

UMM..DON’T WE NEED A DEATH CERTIFICATE? A DOCTOR? I DON’T UNDERSTAND…

RABBI, KHALEED KNOWS DA SYTEM.
OK I AKSING FO ALL OF YOUZE TO HANG ON TO MEEZ FO A FOO MO MINUTES.CHILL AND .GET READY!!

READY FOR WHAT KHALEED??

MOMMY,PLEASE PLEASE TRUST KHALEED.

WHY YANKI?? WHO IS HE??

I GUESS HE WAS TATTYS FRIEND.


OK WEEZ IN DA MORGUE NOW .IZE GONNA OPEN DA GARAGE GATE.WEEZ GONNA SNEAK HARRY OUT OF DA HOSPITAL.

OK YOUZE GONNA HELP ME PUSH DIS STRECHA ON TO DA AMBOOLANCE!!

OK ALL OF YOUZE GET IN.

RABBI WEINFELD I DON’T KNOW WHATS GOING ON HERE.IS THIS A “NESS” THAT WE GOT HIM OUT.WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS?

MRS.FREIDSTIEN,I AM NOT SURE MYSELF.

OK ALL OF YOUZE KHALEEED IS DA AMBOOLANCE DRIVA TOO!! IZE WEAR MANY HATS.HEH HEH.
HOLD ON WE WILL BE BOOKIN GOTHAM FO NOW!!

KID YANKI. COME SIT UP FRONT.DONT YOU WANNA RIDE IN AN AMBOOLANCE.?



RABBI WEINFELD WHATS GOING ON ?? THIS IS WEIRD.

MRS FREIDSTIEN I DON’T KNOW FOR SURE BUT WE MAY HAVE WITNESSED BIG CHESED.





OK YANKI ISS ONY ME AN YOUZE UP FRON’ HEAH.

KHALEED ,MY FATHER IS NOT DEAD.RIGHT??

YANKI.HE IS LIVE AND WELL HE JUST SLEEPIN’

I KNOW I SAW YOU PULL THAT LITTLE PLUG THAT MADE IT LOOK LIKE HE’S DEAD

YANKEE BOY YOUZE A SMART KID.

WHATS THE PLAN KHALEED?

WEEZ GOTTA GET YOU DADDY OUT OF DA STATE. AS SOON AS WEEZ GOIN OVER DA GEORGE WASHI-TIN BRIDGE I WILL DUMP HIS WHOLE CRIMINAL DOCKET RIGHT IN DEE HUDSON RIVER.HEH HEH.
WEEZ GONNA BOOK 120 MILES POH HOUR TILL WE GIT TO PITTSBERG PENNSIL-VANE-YA
OVER THER THER IS A NICE JEWISH GUY DAT WILL TAKE CARE OF YO DADDY FO A WHILE.
ISS CALLED THERAPY.HEAVY THERAPY.ISS A NICE JOOWISH GUY LIKE YOO AN YO DADDY
.HEEZ SAVE MY LIFE.TOOK ME OFF DA STREETS.CLEAN ME UP GOOD.YUP I WAS ALWAYS LOOKIN FOR A WAY TO PAY DA GOOD RABBI BACK .FO DA GOOD STUFFS HEEZ DID TO ME.

HOW ARE YOU GONNA BREAK IT TO MY MOTHER THAT HEES ALIVE?

HEH HEH ISS DA EASY PART YANKI.BOY.ISS EASY.

ISS A LOT EASIER TO BE ALIVE THEN TO PLAY DEAD.YANKI.BOY.

I REALIZE KHALEED, YOU ARE AN ANGEL

NO IM NOT IM JUST ALIVE!! YOUR DADDY WILL BE ALIVE TOO!

HE WASS DEAD FO DEE PAST FEW YEARS.HEES GONNA BE ALIVE NOW!!

REAL LIFE.REAL LOVE.THAT’S LIFE.HEH HEH


~~~~~~~





                                        EPILOGUE

HESHY.IS A FATHER TO YANKI.HESHY FOUND THAT REAL LOVE WAS IN THE CONFINES OF HIS HOME.
CHANI IS THE WIFE AND MOTHER SHE ALWAYS WAQNTED TO BE.
HESHY REALIZES THE MORE YOU FOCUS ON RECEIVING LOVE THE MORE SELFISH YOU BECOME.
TODAY HESHY IS ALIVE. SO AM I . SO WILL YOU ALL BE.LIVE LIFE!!!!

WITH LOVE
bardichev







































LUV ALL OF YOUZE.khaleed.HEH HEH


~~~~~~~











AS MY GABBEH SAYS

CHILLAX!!!

HARRY'S ADDICTION

CHANI'S STYLE

YANKI'S CURIOSITY

RUCHI'S NIAVETE (REMEBER HER)

THEY WILL ALL BE BACK  BE"H

IN 

CHANI'S DAUGHTER

IN THE RIGHT TIME!!

FIRST WE WILL BEGIN A STUDY OF HARRY'S SON!!



STAY TUNED  EVEN BARBIE DOLL HAS ALITTLE SISTER KELLY












YOUZE DON' FUGGED 'BOUT MEEZ.KHALEED.HEH HEH

Just want to put it back on top.

Bard's you should write a novel.

Thanks HY

If I did who in bardstown will do a shidduch with me or take my kids into school.

Let's the jewish media continue talking about safe topics

Like OCD ADHD Insomnia. ShiDduch crisis (nah that's soo 2009) faivish. Eating disorders.

We at GUE are the frontliners. We are taking all the hits

So everyone else can have nothing to worry about

HEH HEH!

ever heard of Samuel Clemens?

is he the guy who invented clementines

that adorn every shabbos table in the winter?

don't know about the clementines but he is the ba'al mechaber of Huckleberry Finn, among others - Mark Twain

he used a pen name, his real name was Samuel Clemens

you can try Fordwood Chevbardi, nice Italian ring to it...

Is your next thread gonna be called "likyei basar likutei"?

Bards,

would you be ok with converting Harry's Son into PDF and making it avalable for download?

Hi guys, for those that remember me, i'm on the forum with my cellphone. Boy, i had a hard time reading it, my phone's really slow! I'll keep this short, i recently got a new sim for my phone, but this time 'pay as you go', so my mammy doesn't see it on my credit card payments (she's been watching them lately). She recently made me cancel my line. But i was burning to get on the net, and not for good reasons. Yes, i fell in and looked at stuff i shouldn't have. I had late nights every day (and i'm writing this too at almost 3am, what am i gonna tell my chavrusa tomorrow) but i kept on yeshiva schedule, i knew i would be a real goner if i didn't. A few days ago something popped into my head, something that silentbattle said at the last kumzitz, that one should picture as if one is pulling the trigger at one's head. That's what this stupid lust does. It was something i never thought about. One 'click' is the pull of the trigger thats shooting bullets in your mind and pulling you down. I think back and remember so many images from when i was a little kid as clear as day. It's scary! Tonight i didn't hold myself back and looked at *#~?. Then i switched to gye and saw bardichev's likutei harry's son. 'BARDICHEV, DOS IS MAMMESH HEINU HACH' the 'click of the button' is the killing of one's life and mind. I'm a 21 year old, a young guy with a big life (iy"h) ahead, wouldn't wanna spoil it. Yeah, i can manage without this, i succeeded doing ninety. I CAN MANAGE, YES I CAN!!!! P.s. For those that know me, your'e welcome to pm me, i'm online these days! Loi-m 

HEH HEH! YEZZ MA SONNY BOY!

Yuz Guys are funny!

Bringing back Memories.

E.L.

Pink razor is sooo 2009 like really OMG

wow......nuff said