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Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too
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TOPIC: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 2441 Views

Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 04:53 #83941

  • yitzi26
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what i will present to you is not an easy task. But for the people who really want to stop please read below.

1. Go to the Mikveh every day. This only take about 5-10 minutes if your quick. Im serious take a quick shower and dip. For the kavanot to have please pm me and i will pm you back. If you cannot afford to pay for the mikveh we have people that are willing to donate for a month sponsorship and to continue if you continue to go everyday. Please contact me regarding this. If you cannot go everyday at-least go 4-3 times a week. I know people that tried everything and the only method that helped was the mikveh. It is worth it.

2. Do Hisbodedute for an hour a day, this should probably be your main focus and it can be done anywhere under any conditions. All you have to do is talk to Hashem as if he was your friend, pretend that you have someone next to you and talk to him. This might be very difficult you have to pray and ask Hashem to help you do Hisbodedute. If you manage to pray an hour a day nothing can touch you. If you can shed tears even better - you must ask Hashem to help you shed tears.

3. BE STRONG ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Sometimes we need to just wake up and smell the coffee i know they say it always better to move forward with positivity that all that goodie goodie stuff. But we must realize the severity of this sin to appreciate being clean. We are with Hashems help giving out free book that are translated in english written by Minchat Yehuda - Rabbi Yehuda Petaya (1859-1942) and the Light of Ephraim a book dedicated on this subject that will truly help anyone!

Please contact me asap. The time is now. These methods work! you just have to do it!
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Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 13:07 #83979

  • me3
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1. Were you an addict?
2. How long are you clean?
3. Actually you are dispensing advice that may not work for the majority of addicts. Thank you for your good intentions.
Last Edit: 10 Nov 2010 15:33 by .

Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 14:06 #83989

  • frumfiend
Good luck! The people on this forum are talmidei chachamim, spiritual people, people who have accomplished lots of things in our lives. We have all tried everything.  Me3 is also raising a valid and great point. How long are you sober ninety days a month or five or ten years?
Last Edit: 10 Nov 2010 15:31 by .

Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 15:10 #84000

  • kedusha
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Welcome to the forum!

Thank you for the tips - some people, depending upon their degree of addiction, may find them helpful!
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
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Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 17:28 #84053

  • yitzi26
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Me3

1. Were you an addict? Yes
2. How long are you clean? 5 months
3. Actually you are dispensing advice that may not work for the majority of addicts. Thank you for your good intentions. Why don't you give it a try. before you judge

Frumfiend The star
There were three 4 people i knew including me which make it 5 did these steps and we have been clean for months. Give it a try.
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Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 17:38 #84061

  • the.guard
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Some addicts can succeed with these methods... There are many levels of addiction, and many types of people. It all boils down to having a REAL connection with Hashem, and if you can get that through Hisbodedus and will-power, kol Hakavod!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 17:40 #84062

  • me3
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I've tried the Mikvah
I've been clean longer then 5 months a few times
So have many others.

Can't say I tried your Hisbodedut but I've been alone with myself at times.

(Really Kedusha I'm trying)
Last Edit: 10 Nov 2010 17:41 by .

Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 17:42 #84065

  • kedusha
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Me3 wrote on 10 Nov 2010 17:40:

Really Kedusha I'm trying


Try harder!  > > >
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
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Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 17:43 #84066

  • kedusha
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Me3 wrote on 10 Nov 2010 17:40:

I've been alone with myself at times.


My condolences!  ;D
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
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Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 17:43 #84067

  • me3
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Don't you have any work to do?
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Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 17:44 #84068

  • kedusha
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I was about to ask you the same thing!
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
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Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 18:17 #84072

  • yitzi26
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Hisbodedut is the most significant one of them all. Again it not simple you have to pray to Hashem, and He will give it to you as a gift.
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Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 19:52 #84096

  • the.guard
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Indeed, Hisbodedus is one of the foundations of the 12-Step method as well. As soon as someone begins working the program, his sponsor will tell him to have a 5-10 minute talk with Hashem each day, and just share with Him whatever comes to mind... Also, the sponsor may likely tell you to write a 1-page letter to Hashem each day. The goal of all this, is to develop a new awareness and relationship with Hashem. A much more real and loving relationship, where, as Dov always says, Hashem is our very best freind and loves us even when we act insane. When we let go of the guilt, when we learn to live with gratitude, when Hashem is more real to us, then we have built the foundation for recovery. And this is what Hisbodedus does as well.

Ashreichem Yisrael, that all wisdom can be found in the Torah.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 10 Nov 2010 20:31 #84101

  • frumfiend
The foundation of the programs kesher with hashem is that you cant do it alone and you need hashem. Without this crucial key the hisbodadus wont help it will just your sick ego
We read today in the big boo just about this issue. It says when someone says they can do it themselves w dont contradict them. We tell them that if you arent so addicted it may work. However for a real addict he cant do it himself.
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Re: Stop COLD TURKEY - How i did it. You do it too 11 Nov 2010 03:42 #84165

  • Dov
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L'sheim Yichud Kudsha brich Hu uS'chintei b'dechilu urechimu, hareini muchan um'zuman l'kayem mitzvos asei shel v'ohavta l'reiyacho komocha, v'nikdashti besoch b'nei Yisroel:

Dear yitzi.26,

I love Hashem.

I love hisbodedus.

Boruch Hashem I am sober today and have been sober one day at a time for some years know, which gives me the ability to learn how to love Him more than ever, and I know that He loves me. It gives me the ability to learn how to truly love my wife and family and many other people, as well.

And I sincerely want you to know that every single time I escaped from everyone else in my noisy life, to sit alone in a bathroom and masturbate, I was misboded.

I was alone, quiet, focused, and sincere...with the thing I trusted the most in the world: fantasy and masturbation. That was my hisbodedus.

And every time I messed up by doing that, I felt super close to Hashem and begged Him to take me back b'Chasdo. I felt I was with Him...in pain, but still clearly with Him!

And then I did it all over again.

And again.

And I got worse and worse and worse...and all the time I believed I was on a mission to finally really do teshuvah the next time I had the tayva.

My yiddisheh brain knew that Hashem has the only real love, the only real sweet beauty, and the only real hope for me - lo ayacheil!....but my body believed otherwise. It knew the experience of real pleasure from the things I was doing for escape and pleasure. Pleasure does not lie. The body cannot be easily fooled. Unfortunately, saying and learning good things does not make them so - especially when they are competing with a firmly entrenched insanity like lust dependence.

For you, the hisbodedus - done in the right way (with Hashem) - is working. That is a beautiful miracle. For me, focusing on Hashem in hisbodedus was a complete waste of time because true Emunah was only in my mind...my body already had a very different god. And it's god demanded daily service. It was a jealous god. It had its own rewards and its own punishments. It really did, to me.

So I caution you to consider that although the Torah is true - period, and although Hashem is the only real Beauty, Love, and Value that there is...there are yidden who need an 'access ramp' to the stuff you are talking about.

Mikvah and Tikun Klali are 'magical' and powerful, as you describe - and Hashem can do anything. But for many sweet yidden (like me) banging our heads for just a few more weeks or months on the Aron Kodesh can cost them their marriages, the mental health of their children, and may cost them their sanity, as well as their Olam Haba.

It seems to me that what matters to you most here is the terrible aveiro. I respectfully disagree with that perspective, particularly for addicts.

I do not know what you mean when you say the word "addict", but for the addicts who I know (like me), the ikkar problem with the habit of these aveiros is not mainly the aveiros, but that we are unable to really live as long as we are medicating with tayvo. Our relationships are filled with faykerai, our davening is a silly 'ratzo vashov' between "I am horrible and evil" and "Hashem take me back!". That is not avodah at all. It is shtuyot. Unfortunately many have made a business out of it and many consider it the ikkar avodah of their lives. Well, I believe that they are hiding in a sweet little corner of Torah and missing the entire daled amos of a Torah life. But who am I, and who besides me should care what I believe?

Before saying that your way is guaranteed, or the only way for serious yidden, please consider that many people will find hatzlocha and brocha in a completely different derech than yours. 

I agree 100% with a lot of the tachlis of your derech. For me, the solution is to find out that Hashem really is my Best Friend. For me, hisbodedus with Him is a gift from Hashem and I cannot survive without hisbodedus. But many people need to come to it on a completely different path than you suggest.

Hatzlocha!!
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."
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