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Re: My Yetzer Hara, my greatest...
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Re: My Yetzer Hara, my greatest... 28 Oct 2010 12:47 #81780

  • aspiringjew
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During my correspondence with my accountability partner today i wrote some things that i would like to share here and see what others think on the subject:

OK you fell - now get back up and lets make this streak - if not indefinite - at least longer then the previous one. If last time you made it only to day 5 then this time there is no way that you will fall until day 5 is behind you. Expect the next few days to be very hard because the Yetzer is going to try and break your spirit into thinking you are a nothing and not worthwhile.
I made it to day 14 once, I'm going to aim for that as well. If we have to "pick ourselves up" a day at a time - then B"H that's what we'll do to succeed with this Yetzer!
Last night I was sorely tempted to fall, I did everything to prepare myself for it too: looked in at all of the wrong things, waited until everyone was in bed ... you know how it goes. anyway just before I acted out I stopped myself and said "You have been working so hard to change your day and your ways so as to confine the Yetzer as much as possible. (I told you that I changed around my daily schedule: I have (been trying) to get up at 4-4:15 am in order to squeeze in some exercise and more learning in my day, to daven vatikin and everything!)", so I said "now it's 12:30 am, there's just no way that you are going to be able to get up at 4, but at least if you sleep now you won't totally mess up your day!" and it worked! somehow I was able to "feel" that "it's not worth it" and went to bed! TOTAL MIRACLE.
I am - in no way - going to assume that that will work twice. Certainly not by itself. I forgot to say the most important part in that I also - during mincha - said to HaShem "HaShem! I cant do it without you! Please help me!".
Well this mornings shacharis was a little difficult. after all i did go to sleep late! but B"H mincha is not to far away, hopefully I'll daven then with more kavana.

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