I would love to hear from the oilom is it really beneficial to post every fall.
I understand that somtimes we want chizuk. On the other hand since we are trying to get up and keep on trucking maybye we shouldnt make a big deal about it. When every body starts posting back dont worry etc. It makes the whole thing a big deal

accountability

Three reasons:

1.) Accountability

2.) Accountability

3.) Accountability

Oh,  I almost forgot - we need to be accountable!

Seriously, if you can get your accountability in some other way, e.g. by reporting a fall to a sponsor, that would also work.

My question is really how much or any acountability is there in a anonymous board? 
What is the benefit of acountability.

It's difficult to say you fell even on an anonymous board, but if it doesn't work for you then follow Kedusha's suggestion (Man I hate when we agree).

But what is the benefit? Maybye im wrong but i dont think it makes us not fall. With a sponser you can rehash the whole thing and he can get you back on your feet.

First you said
Frumfiend The star wrote on 08 Oct 2010 12:24:


Now you say
Frumfiend The star wrote on 08 Oct 2010 14:40:

So please make up your mind

Second, does a sponsor prevent you from falling? Why? Because you have to tell him? Forum works the same way. 
Again if
Me3 wrote on 08 Oct 2010 14:35:

Kedusha wrote on 08 Oct 2010 14:09:

Sorry!  So do we agree that divulging falls is to prevent them or is there another reason. I was suggesting a diffrent reason dont know if its true. If the second reason is correct than there woudnt be a reason to post on the forum. On the contrary it might be counter productive as i suggested earlier.
Thanks alot i hope my question is clear now. Thank you for responding

Me3 wrote on 08 Oct 2010 14:35:


I disagree!

Having to divulge a fall (to the forum, to my Rebbe, to my Rav, to my wife) is a huge deterrent for me.

Warning!!!  The following is not be read by anyone who is not an 'extremist'! it was not written in the spirit of GYE!!!

Dovid Hamelech said, "Ashrei n'sa pesha, k'sui chatah."



If it is l'toeles it may be mutar, though. (i.e. It will help us in azivas hacheit.) I was told that the issur is because it shows a zilzul in recognizing the severity of a cheit towards the Ribono Shel Olam. If we would realize it, we would be way to ashamed to tell anyone!

Dovid HaMelech was talking about sins, not addictions.

Kedusha, you are not an 'extremist', you are a nice guy! You weren't authorized to read that post.


........but, ....... I think, the term 'Nishtaresh b'chet' is used in seforim in this context.

Bottom line is, we only hold of one idea. Whatever works to stop you from falling do. If it's posting, sponsors, fines, holding your breath, or anything else.

Personally I find that the worst punishment is to read one of Dov's original posts (Written in Dovish) there's not much more painful then that.

(Love you Dov!)

FF, this thread was worth it just for the beautiful interaction between Kedusha and me3. (me3, you can start over on your kabala again, if you wish...)

But I have another angle.... ???

One of the main problems we face is denial.

Check it out... its fun to read (other people's) threads when they start out, and see how they write they did this or that etc, but no, I'm not addicted.

Admitting it on the record helps a person recognize they need help... badly.

the chizuk GYE'ers give afterward is a side affect.

Now, fact is, that posting is a deterent for many, even if it is anon. Proof is that several times Guard has posted stuff he received as emails where the poster was too embarressed to post under their - anonymous - screen name.

But, even without that, the other point applied. It makes the person 'own up' to the problem, and helps uproot years and years of reinforcing the denial.

Just a thought from kutan.