We will have a great Rosh Hashana!

We are working on coming closer to Hashem!

Who else does he have that is working so hard, against so many odds, struggling and striving for Closeness to Him??

To reiterate Yosef's disclaimer, individual circumstances call for an individual Psak.

That said, I asked Rav Feldman, Shlita, for some clarification regarding his Psak that someone addicted to these behaviors should not serve as Baal Tefila for the Yomim Noraim.  The Rosh Yeshiva explained that if the person has been Poreish from the Aveira and does not want to return to it, he may serve as Baal Tefila for the Yomim Noraim.

Question: What's considered having been Poreish from the Aveira?  Does it depend on the number of days clean, the strength of one's resolve, the steps taken to avoid repeating the Aveira, or a combination of these factors?  I would think that it's probably a combination of these factors.

The Rosh Yeshiva Shlita said that to me too!
Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 30 Aug 2010 15:35:


Maybe someone to ought to ask the Rosh Yeshiva for more clarification?Kedusha wrote on 16 Sep 2010 00:48:




The 90 day goal is a number set by Guard, we don't find a halachic basis for that being the yardstick, I think.

Someone suggested to me that if he stays away for 1 week he should be considered a 'Baal Teshuva'; another person suggested 40 days. Since in his Sefer Tzetel Koton, the Rebbe, Rebbi Elimelech of Lizhensk Zy"a says that it takes 40 days to uproot a midda.

Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 16 Sep 2010 15:14:


Interestingly, it seems that, with the proper resolve to stop and with the requisite number of days clean (whatever number that may be), the person may Daven for the Amud on the Yomim Noraim, even if he has not taken steps to ensure his long term sobriety (in other words, we can all bet money that he's going to fall back into his addiction eventually).  Unless we say that, for an addict, failure to make any concrete changes (e.g. one or more of the following: installing an Internet filter, using monitoring software, getting an accountability sponsor or partner, working the 12 steps, etc.) means that the proper resolve to stop is lacking.  After all, if his life literally depended on not falling, he would set up numerous safeguards.

If the yardstick is resolve to stop I would think that means resolve to do whatever it takes to stop no matter what that entails.

Does anyone think otherwise?

Holy Yid wrote on 20 Sep 2010 20:41:


Sometomes doing things you aren't ready for is detrimental...
The Gra in Mishli says a few times that if someone doesn't go gradually he will not have siata D'shmaya!!!!
"M'sayan Oso does not apply to him..."

Tried-123 wrote on 26 Sep 2010 16:21:


I am not discussing the method only the resolve and commitment. Many of us want to stop but don't take real action that will move us in that direction.

I hear you....

It's just that it is sad for me to see so many of us that muster everything they have to "once and for all get rid of the problem"...
many succeed for a while but then fall right back and are even more down and feel  more hopeless than when they started....

May we all succeed....

Tried-123 wrote on 26 Sep 2010 17:43:


Mustering all we have might not be a commitment to stop. It might just be a decision to use a lot of will power to try and stop. For many of us we need other thing besides will power. We need awareness, self acceptance, learning new techniques and perspectives and maybe dealing with unresolved beliefs and emotions which we are trying to hide from.

The commitment to stop means to search out any thing that works and try it. It is a commitment to be honest and brave not determined and head strong.

They say  in AA many people are willing to do anything it takes to stop except what is known to work (i.e. the program and steps)

To reiterate the disclaimer, individual circumstances call for an individual Psak.

Kedusha wrote on 16 Sep 2010 00:48:


I approached the Chasidesh Rebbe/Posek again for clarification too. He said that if someone knows that he is the throes of his addiction, i.e. he has looked at inappropriate 'stuff' & will still continue to look, he shouldn't be a Shliach Tzibur. When a person feels that he is out of it, that he is not gonna look again then he is acceptable again!

"But," I asked, "when a person is addicted he can never be really out of it. There is a guy on the site who is clean 13 years(!) and he still feels like he is standing at the edge of the cliff, ready to slip in an instant. With addictions, we can never 'be out of it'?"

The Rebbe replied that as long as right now he feels that he won't be looking again, he is a good candidate to be a Chazan. "Al m'nas she'ani tzadik gamur works in an instant."

HEY... YOU'VE GOT TIME NOW TO GET IN SHAPE TO BE A CHAZAN NEXT YEAR!

you mean with enough eggs and voice lessons?

oh, you mean the tough type of getting in shape....

i had visions...

I am joining the band wagon to root for you also.

Eye.nonymous wrote on 28 Oct 2010 21:08:



Just a few weeks left!!!!!

Yosef Hatzadik wrote on 01 Sep 2011 19:10:


:D :D :D